If someone was serious about this, how would we go about making it so?
I know a Straight Dope Party ticket wouldn’t win (in 2004), but we might raise awareness of some important things.
Anyone?
2012, here we come!
Does that have anything to do with the glurge going around about the Mayan calendar predicting the end of the world in 2012? 
[reporter in the back of the room]
Mr. Polycarp! Will you or your running mate accept blowjobs from male interns?
[/reporter]
I’m alright on the christian part of this ticket.
But the trekkie part leaves me feeling a little uneasy.
Mr. Esprit, could you elucidate how Trek Culture can better America please?
Wow! Talk about picking up on the subtle!
You see, I know 2004 is a wash, but we start it up anyways.
With the publicity of an internet party making it more powerful, 2008 could actually have some meaningful results.
Next election is, of course 2012. I thought, “World’s gonna end anyway. We just might be the ones the gods leave alone. Then, we can elect anyone we please!”
Actually, I just figured novelty in 2004, news in 2008, real political influence by 2012.
The Chief of Staff also would like to state that she will not accept any blow jobs from male interns while in the White House in office, however, she will consider applications from intelligent, witty male reporters and other gentlemen within an acceptable age of consent. Besides, if I recall correctly, there are lots of hotels in Washington! (Ba-dum-bump!)
I wonder. There are a lot of organized, competent people on this board. We’ve got people stationed in every part of the U.S. I’ve also done crazier things (OK, not many). . . . . Nah! Not even my relationship with the universe is this warped!
CJ
On the other hand, keep that Chief of Staff job open, will you, Poly?
I was thinking more like homeland security, or maybe treasury considering how much money it brings in.
I guess since Poly didn’t reply my request was taken as less-than-serious. What a shame, I had some really good ideas for porn-reform.
Now updated appropriately.
Esprix I see you have a thumb in your mouth…tell me sir, did you inhale?
Well done. And yes, I am the cutest running mate, Rufus King and Geraldine Ferraro be damned! (Besides, this means me n’ Poly have the older generation/younger generation vote split between us - a sure bet!)
And Shirley - surely you jest!
Esprix
I dunno… now I feel like I’m voting for Charlie Brown and Linus Van Pelt. But considering who’s already running…
OK, we need some position papers. Some hot issues, you know.
Hmm… “Three grys and you’re out”?
And… “Don’t ask, do tell!”
I reckon we’ve got the “separation of church and state” issue nailed. So to speak.
Poly, what’s your take on budgetary and spending?
Jeez Loo-eeze!
Is everyone going to ignore me?
I tried to start a platform discusion very early in this thread.
See below
No Clue Boy, if nothing else, I’m going to need help keeping the two candidates in line. You can have Assistant to the Chief of Staff or Co-Chief of Staff, if you like. Also, I think the Campaign Manager slot might be open – check with Homebrew.
I like the platform. I’d also like to suggest a couple of planks:
[ul][li]Good, efficient mass transportation is to be encouraged.[/li][li]CEOs and other corporate officers who increase their pay while cutting jobs will lose a significant portion of that pay in the form of taxes which will be used to pay unemployment benefits.[/li][li]Executives pension plans will only be protected in bankruptcy if their worker’s pension plans are protected.[/li][li]All sorts of lovely tax loopholes will be sewn up, with corporate welfare a far larger focus than private welfare. [/li][li]We will work to make the U.S. tax system easily understandable by someone with a high school education who graduated in the middle fifth of his or her class.[/ul][/li]
Anyone else got any ideas?
CJ
Chief of Staff
Polycarp and Esprix for President
(formerly cjhoworth)
Polycarp/Esprix '04 - All your vote are belong to us!
Can I be Surgeon General?
No. But you may be Sturgeon General.
Esprix
formerly known as cjhoworth, your asst would be a fabulous job! Thanks.
Ok ok ok ok
Esprix, you need a new do. Just for a while. Something that screams out “I’m the man for the job! You can trust me!” Oh, and I like your assertiveness (like with the line cutting bastard), that should play up well. Just no bitch slapping when there’s cameras around, right?
Poly, how about a nice power suit? Maybe a navy double breasted Armani? With a nice rep tie, what school did you go to? Doesn’t matter, really. Do you still talk to Satan? I’m thinking he may have a little insight on what the truly radical might want to hear.
Don’t either one of you worry about toning down or changing your styles of wit, wisdom, and words. That’s what got you the nominations in the first place.
Now… where are my keys…?
Seems that Surgeon General should rightfully go to Qadgop.
And Poly and Esprix, you have my vote as well.
Got a position left for me?
This is guaranteed to do better than the last political campaign I was involved in! (the Dead Chipmunk fiasco)
has the campaign died?