I was rather excited to receive a mail just now from polycarp. Imagine my disappointment to discover that this is what he had to say to me:
It seems our very own Episcopalean multitudinous fish has resorted to spamming people. Sure, he’s hiding behind the email maharnila@webmail.com, but he still gave his name.
Is nothing sacred any more?
[sub]Psssstt… Lynn’s gonna kick your ass, man. :eek: Nothing against Lynn, of course.:)[/sub]
Wha? Wha? I’m pitting some dude who spammed me. Ain’t no joke thread.
Whistles innocently, hands in Zoot suit pockets, idly kicking a can as he strolls away.
:Walks up behind jjimm:
Hello, me lad. I’m just back from fencing practice, and I would like to, shall we say, discuss, these allegations you’ve made against my Episcopalian big brother in spirit. I can assure you he’s not spamming you – he’s been to busy getting a certain Deity to interfere in my love life. Not to mention, I would think the logistics of a gentleman in the States offering an extended car warranty deal to a bloke in Dublin would prove impractical. Think of the exchange rates, if nothing else. It is bizarre though!
Now, have a pleasant evening, and have a pint on me.
: Puts dagger back in fencing kit and pops back across the pond:
CJ
(Congratulations – you’ve been be-Sieged!
I’m afraid this thread leaves me no option but to declare the Church of England’s equivalent of a fatwah against jjimm, calling upon Anglicans everywhere to go round to his place for a cup of tea and a nice quiet chat.
Yes, I know it’s originally an Alexei Sayle gag. No, I don’t care.
[eager kid voice]
Can I bring the swords?! Can I?!! Can I?!!!
[/eager kid voice]
Ah but Steve I shall ward them off with my genuine Church of England confirmation certificate (and by informing them that I only have Rich Tea biscuits in the house).
Incidentally, Steve’s post puts me in mind of the time my American girlfriend told me she kept a revolver under her pillow back in Indiana. I was shocked that she even owned a gun (me being English and all), and she was indignant, asking “so what would you do if some dude broke into my house and assaulted me!?”
I replied: “Well for starters, I’d write a very stern letter to The Times.”
Well I thought it was funny. She thought I was serious.
Despite the light-hearted tone, I don’t think Jimm posted a joke thread–lying spamming motherfuckers who steal from your address book to pose as people you trust deserve to be disemboweled with a rusty can opener and then have lemon juice poured into the raw abdominal cavity.
Wow, you actually got an e-mail from Polycarp?
Goddamn it, how is it that one has so many thoughts in one’s head, but it takes another to phrase them so perfectly?
Gobear, if I manage to get away with this, I promise to mail you a few cans of Guinness.
Maybe gobear should ghostwrite the stern letter to the Times.
What is this? Since you got busted you’ve been running all over the Pit shitting in every thread with your Junior Mod crap, pointing out with apparent glee every time someone posts something that you think is a joke thread. I guess you’re still not over the fact that you got suspended for a week, because you’re like the guy who points at everyone and asks why they got away with it when you didn’t. That was your only contribution to one of my threads, and it appears that it will be your only contribution here.
You’re not a Mod, there is no justice, and stop being a whiny jerk.
Alternatively, you could pop round and offer a choice of cake or death.
Which is, of course, an Eddie Izzard gag
But if you run out of cake, you can always offer chicken. [sub]tastes of human, sir[/sub]
:dubious: Hmmmmm…
Polycarp’s identity has been taken over by a spammer;
Spammers are spawn of the devil; ergo,
Polycarp’s been possessed by a demon?!?!? :eek:
Uh, exaggerate much?
Could you parse that last sentence please?
I was continuing the lighthearted tone of the OP. I find the spam amusing personally. I get spam like “obvious depends corkskrew shellfish” all the time. It’s funny. I’m not convinced that the polycarp header isn’t coincidence.
So, uh, fuck you.
You’re not a mod either, there is no justice, and stop being a sanctimonious prick.
At least it wasn’t porn spam.
Besides, everybody knows you’re a Wanker.
Second lame attempt to riposte. For Pete’s sake, how many bites of the apple do you want?
Listen, if you think of an even more insipid response to the same post you’ve already replied twice to, keep it to your self.
Jerk.
Ilsa Lund, you are an idiot. This is not an insult, it’s a diagnosis.