Me too about the “Pope smears” but at least I’m glad I didn’t read it as “PAP smears”. 
Catsix:
what did she write?
An addition to catsix’s post:
When I was in high school, a very used tampon was discovered in one of the drinking fountains.
Ooo, and one time on a trip through Virginia
I encountered a toilet at a Welcome Center that was freakin’ drenched in blood. The water was deep red, the seat was covered with blobs of blood, the floor and walls were spattered and smeared…I honestly believe some poor woman had a miscarriage in that stall and just left.
You all would hate what my friend did back in Jr. High. He managed to pull the toilet paper (unripped) over to the bowl; wipe himself (somewhat) and then rerolled the shit laden paper; for some hapless soul to discover.
I guess I’m an accessory since I did nothing to stop him.
I read that, predictably, as “…trip through vagina.”
Miscarriage! Hah!
(I still haven’t eaten dinner. I think I’m either going to go for a peanut-butter sandwich or some… anything with ketchup.
I’m gonna crosspost this to another thread: Should CEOs be screened for psychopathic behavior?
Sheesh.
My immediate thought was she must have run out and was asking someone to get her another pack. Sounds irrational, I know, but it hits some people like that.
To add a postscript (I thought of using red but in the interests of good taste opted agianst it), I’m glad to say that this thread has found its place in the natural order of things, nestling up against “My bathroom, it is a showplace”
in the New Posts forum.
Actually, I can reassure you that probably wasn’t it. TMI spoiler:
Some women are just very, very heavy bleeders. Very annoying but not dangerous. And it’s pretty easy to accidentally hit a clot that causes everything to unexpectedly start flowing. It’d be even worse if you were say on a long car trip and so the blood was building up as you sat. I’ve had it happen at home which was icky enough but I had the supplies to clean it up. If it ever happened in a public, particularly some place like a Welcome Center that may not have attendents to notify, I’d probably be beyond embarrased but wouldn’t have any choice but to leave it.
Wouldn’t you mop it up the best you can with toilet paper?
OK, yeah, I probably would to some extent. And I’d at least flush the toilet. But when I was sixteen, I’d probably just flee the women’s room. My point wasn’t actually to make excuses for the mess but to point out that it probably wasn’t a miscarriage.
Thats nuthin!
I just spent the summer working maintenance at a Boy Scout camp. I have seen shit (literally and otherwise) you cannot imagine.
I never realized before I started working there that the following things are amusing to 11-18 year old boys:
-attempting to flush your own clothes. I have seen entire outfits in the toilet bowl. Makes me wonder what the hell these kids wore out of the bathroom and back to their campsite.
-flushing pine cones, whole rolls of toilet paper, and other non-flushable items.
-defecating onto floors, into sinks and urinals, and other places where it doesn’t belong.
this one deserves a spoiler to avoid upsetting the squeamish:
-getting a group of boys together and seeing just how much shit can go into a toilet bowl. I’ve seen shit piled so high the kids had to have been standing on the toilet tank and squatting facing backwards to avoid touching the pile as they added to it.
and many more scenes too terrifying to share.
Luckily, I work the night shift. So by the time I come in, the second shift cleaning crew has taken care of everything. This leaves me all night to throw poo all over the place! It’s like my very own poo paradise.
I kid, I kid!
Every time I see the thread title it looks like a country song to me:
*Poop smears next to the toilet-paper holder
Pee all over the seat
Dried boogers stickin’ to the back of the door
Pubic hair at my feet
There’s a used tampon on top of the tank
Spunk floatin’ in the bowl
If I survive this, I’m gonna have to thank
the Center for Disease Control
CHORUS:
‘Cuz NOTHIN’ upsets
Like filthy goddamned toilets
NO emp-ty threats
You’re gonna have some regrets
You dirty motherfuckers gonna lick that puppy clean.*
Coulda been, though–I had a miscarriage a year and a half ago that left my bathroom looking like a slaughterhouse. I’m just glad it happened at home.
I’m posting this next to the toilet paper holders and sending it to Nashville Pussy for their next album.
This summer, working maintenance at a sleepaway camp, I saw things in the bathroom that made me re-examine my view of God.
Aerosol poop:
This individual must literally have an aerosol spray attached to their pooper. Not only was there feces coating the entire bowl, but also a big log in the center, surrounded by toilet paper, clogging the toilet. In addition, there was a fine poop mist in the stall. While plunging, I had to run out of the stall and dry retch because the smell was so revolting.
The artist:
Someone drew a heart with their shit on the wall. It reeked. An interesting choice of medium to say the least. Either the individual was trying to be ironic, or just was resourceful.
Both of these were found in the girls’ bathroom, by the way. The boys wasn’t much better, though.
Of course. All us sanitation engineers know that boys can only draw phalluses.
Aw, geez…I read the thread title as “**PAP ** smears next to the dunny roll” and thought it was a *wonderful * idea, and why somebody would be pitting such an inovative self-service gynaecological test, available to all who spend a penny in the loo.
I’m so disappointed.
