I’m guessing you guys have heard that stupid joke about how you come up with your “porn name”, right? The name of your pet and the name of your street,things like that. My question is, what formulas have you heard/liked the best, and what’s the best name you can come up with using the formulas? My porn name using the above formula would be, “WeeGee McKinley”. Pretty lame, I think. On a side note, why do so many female porn stars have alliteritave names (Chelsea Charms, Jenna Jameson, etc.)?
using the pet name/road name formula, I’m TOOTSIE 49. (I know sixty-nine, the logistics of a forty-nine escape me. I think one of us has to be dead)
My friend, with the same formula, is MISTY RANGE. He was ecstatic.
P.S. I’d watch a porno starring someone called WeeGee.
P.P.S I can’t answer your alliteration question (it’s probably a matter of marketing), but here’s one for you: what’s the funniest porn you’ve ever seen?
It’s a tie for me. The first is Bathroom Bondage Beauties. It had a character in it who’s sex we could not tell, despite the fact it was a porno! Plus, there’s something charming about seeing someone mount a dildo on their head like a unicorn.
The second was a pornographic historical reenactment of the Tanya Harding/Nancy Kerrigan scandal. I forget what it was called, but the cover had Harding glaring at Kerrigan and the tag line was a newspaper clipping with the headline, “Olympic hopeful bashed by dildo – may not skate”
The movie took some liberties with the real story. I don’t believe they really reconciled like that.
And I laughed really hard when I heard there was a DEBBIE DOES IOWA.
Indeed we have.
I particularly like the formula:
Middle name + Street name = Porn name…
Shit, I’ve gone from Frank Shepard to Frank Longneck to Frank Speed.
Pet name sounds promising… huge potential there.
My friend would be Mr.Jeepers McElroy.
My brother would be Chunky 220th St.… that’s pretty original(ly weird).
I’d be lying if I said the street name doesn’t play at least some part in my residence decison-making process.
Anal Scurvy;
I’ve only watched two pornos in my young life, both watched in the same session with two best girlfriends, both chosen for their humorous possibilities. One was this 1980’s one called, “The Pillowman” (a male burglar breaks into a houseful of women and sexual situations ensue). The other was “Debbie Does Dallas”! OH GOD were these bad.
At one point in “Pillowman”, you get a close-up shot of the guy’s head from right under his chin to the top of his spiky '80’s 'do. A woman with a completely shaved c–t is just barely sitting on the top of his head. You’d assume it’s a woman 'cause all you see is then c–t. He gets this shitfaced grin on his face and his eyes roll up as if to try and view the situation on his head. She (in a DEEP voice) then utters the immortal line, “Ooohh…your hair! It’s so…pricklike!”. Holy shit, was that funny.
As for Debbie…Debbie seemed to have a lisp or something and looked stoned out of her mind for the duration of the movie. I don’t blame her, honestly. And that dialogue! Classic, especially when spoken by a ditzy, seemingly stoned blonde with a speech impediment.
<—tears of laughter. well, by THIS formula, I’d be ** Cocoa Glicken**.
Y’all just line up and take a numbah, heah?
Allright, allright. So it’s been done before. I didn’t know! I’m new here (duh). 
Okay, Marissa Kay. Hmmm…I’ll ponder that for a little.
The formula I had heard was first pet’s name and name of street where you first lived.
Which makes me Brandy Burniston.
If it was current pet/current street, I get Oscar Parkville, which sounds more like George Bernard Shaw’s butler than a porn star.
Well. with the first pet, first street it would be Dixon Franklin.
With the CURRENT pet, street it would be… well, I don’t have a pet now. But my work has a company cat, so I’ll use that…
Shadow Spur. Not too bad.
With the first pet/first street I’d be
Killer Cooper!
MMmmmm…Cocoa…
By the first pet/first street I’d be
Goldie LeMay
Thats ok, considering I have blonde hair.
Haha, my boyfriend would be Scruffy Edgemere 
~Kittie
Wow, Cartooniverse, you’re my namesake! I would be Cocoa Buttonwood.
So what do you think, when I come of age, am I ready for my pornstar career with this name?
My sister is “Choppy Albert” using the “current formula”, or “Puss Burniston” by the “first formula”.
Nyahhaha. She’ll be horrified. Can’t wait to tell her.
I would be CoCo Brown… as a 22 y/o white boy, I’m not sure how this would work, but whatever.