A thread on “pornolizing” text reminded me of an email joke sent to me a few months ago. It was a guide to figuring out what your name would be if you ever make porno movies.
For your first name, use the name of your first pet.
For your last name, use your mother’s maiden name.
That means I would be Stretch Widmayer. A buddy of mine would be Peanuts Swineford.
What would your name be?
Kittie Davis…
[sub]Sounds so devious, so…slutty[/sub]
Wow. Its…Hershey Smith.
That is so wierd… :eek:
This is just too funny. Mine would be Peachie Foster!
Peachie? Maybe I’d have sounded a bit pornier if my mother’s last name were Keene, or something. 
Figaro Steiner.
The variation I’m more familiar with is your middle name followed by the name of the street you live on. That would make me…Kyle Parapet.
That sounds vaguely pornstar-ish, doesn’t it?
By the first formula…Noni Wolfe.
Porno Private Eye 
By the second…
Renee Miller 
See, the one I heard was, the name of the first pet you ever had, and the name of the first street you remember living on. (Yes, my friends tend to be rather obscure.)
Mine (by that token) would be “Sweetie Egleston.”
By Hugh’s, “Sweetie Burlock.”
By Ultrafilter’s, “Collette Stoneridge.” I dunno, that sounds more like a gack soap opera name to me.
Heh…if I lived 10 miles from here, my name could conceivably be “Collette Lickinghole.” Man, do I love Virginians.
“Gizmo Jones”
In order of the versions, I would be:
Tommy-smoother than stout-Porter… (stepmother name)
Arthur-sweet and sticky-Carmel
Tommy-little sprout-Brussels.
With the second or third pet I would have at least been a Nero or a Jocko. But it’s still better than Circe Rural Route 1.
How I wish my mother had known of this game when she named my first pet on my behalf… ::sigh::
First pet, Mother’s Maiden Name:
Scabby Wilton
Middle Name, Street:
Leanne Kay
First Pet, First Street:
Scabby Grubb
See, I was introduced to this game by the third version, and we all tried to work out exactly what kind of pornstar would use the name Scabby Grubb. A really demoralized one, I guess. Darn you, Scabby the Cat, and darn the man who decided to name our street after Mr Grubb!!
First Pet - Maiden Name
Goldy Tessier (sounds like a female name!)
First Pet - Street Name
Goldy Spring
Middle Name - Street Name
Grant Spring
First Pet/Mother’s Maiden Name
Kelsey See (how stupid does that sound?)
First Pet/Street Name
Kelsey Faulkner
Middle Name/Street Name
Ann Faulkner
The second two sound too fuddy-duddy to be pornstar names. I’m officially changing mine to Tiffany Sugar.
Bubbles McDonald
Oooh, I likey!
Tammy McCabe
First pet / Mother’s Maiden Name
White Stuff Hopkins
First pet / Street Name
White Stuff Melody
Middle Name / Street Name
No Name Melody
Just read that again and it sounds more like a country and western singer hee hee.
Bobby Blanchart
Samuel Shiloh
Bobby Crystal
nope, sounds like celebrities, not pornstars.
sighs
well, I always thought Kushy Bimbolino would be a good one (ref: Outland by Berkly Breathed).
Whisky Bostock
Whisky Bay
John Bay
That would be
CoCo Brown
interesting name for a white boy, eh?
And I always heard the second formula (middle name / street name) was for your soap opera name. That’d make me Michael Cedarbrook. I like the ring of that… Dr. Michael Cedarbrook.
(oh, and hi by the way… I’m new.)
The first pet whose name I remember was Rex, which doesn’t lend itself well to a porno name for me.
And the street I live on is either County Road 3 or Route 2 or Golden Spike Road, sooooo… please pardon me while I pass on this little exercise 