When my dog died I was reminded of the time I won a contest on the radio.
The idea: Take your first pet’s name. Add to it your mothers maiden name. You now have an on-screen porno name that any red-blooded American can be proud of.
If this has been done before, please forgive, I did a quick search and came up with too many results to track down.
So what’s you’re porno name, Dopers?
Mine is Smurf Wild.
Well, I don’t have a dog, and I don’t post my mother’s maiden name because, well, it’s used as an identity check for many financial things. (My given name, however, is OK.) However, the version of this that I heard is: take your middle name and the street you grew up on.
That would make me: Jack Harding. Yeah, I think it works.
However, my favorite “should have been a porno star” name is the baseball player (from way back) Johnny Dickshot.
With this particular formula, I think i may just win the blue ribbon for most laughable. (Imagine how my poor mom felt growing up)
My betta fish’s names are
Fat Ass & Icosolese.
My moms maiden name is Glasscock.
So this is me:
Fat Ass Glasscock
or
**Icosolese Glasscock
Somehow being a girl, that just doesn’t seem to fit me, but
maybe with a strap on, a little glue on hair, and a voice changer, I could finally kick ron jeremy to the curb.
With my formula (Pets Name & Street Name)
I’d be Fat Ass Gothic or Isocolese Gothic
It has been done before—many times—but we forgive you, as it’s still a fun game. My name is Tiki Kates; in the other variation (pet’s name + childhood street name), I’m Tiki Greentree (very Bond Girl!).
I invented—I am proud to say!—the Drag-Queen Name Generator: your favorite flower + your favorite island resort (I am Daisy Barbados).
Pet name + Mothers Maiden name == Lady Olsen
With me being male and all that would have to be one seriously disturbed porno.
Having grown up on a street named “Karlstoftevænget” I think I’ll just stay out of the porn business completely.
Scratch Hardy
Pet name + Mother’s maiden name = Button Knee
Middle Name + Street I grew up on = Elizabeth McKinley
Neither’s very porny-sounding. What about if I switched them? Button McKinley maybe?
…Maybe not. 
That would make me Tulip Cayman.
I like it!
Happy
If I were female, my porno name would have to be Anya Knees.
1st version - Pickles Miller
2nd version - Marie Greydale
Not very lewd, but the Pickles cracks me up.
Drag Queen - Columbine Bimini
I dunno, sounds like I should be singing on Hee Haw, a-pickin’ and a-grinnin’ with Roy Clark.
I’ll do the pet + street name combo, as I too am wary of giving out my mom’s maiden name.
I’m Daisy Tanglewood. Not bad, no?
MrWhatsit, on the other hand, is Mittens 90th. Clearly one of us is destined for porn star fame, and the other just…isn’t.
Dandelion Chick
Jasmine Keys
pet + Street =
TAFFY STAPLES.
That sounds vaguely gross.
I’m Peter North, perhaps you’ve seen my penis?
Tippy Gale.
pet + street= Shadow Cochrane (almost sounds like cockring!)
flower + resort= Poppy Tahoe (kind of the grandpa of schlongs, maybe…)
Dexter Lantana
I modified the criterion somewhat: dog + street I grew up on.
Drag queen name: Rose Dominica
Rocky Baline
Jonathan Steele
I grew up thinking it was pet and street name, making me Rocky Steele, air conditioner repairman.
pet + street = Patches Ellwood
flower + island = Trillium Iceland
I’m sticking to my day job.
First pet + street name = Muggle-Wump Foxwood!
I don’t care what anyone says, NO director is going to hire someone with that name to star in their porno. Could you imagine the credits rolling at the end?
At least my drag name comes out better: Chrysanthemum Keys. Nice.