I would like to be the minor party functionary who schemes his way to the top; betraying & destroying all rivals. Hey, that’s how Stalin got* his* start!
Optionally, if the above position is closed–consider me as the ideal candidate for our new country’s Great National Bastard. I’m more than qualified for that job!!
If it pleases your Highne— er, Mr. Presi— (um, what exactly is your title, oh Taker-over-of-Vacouver-Island-with-sticks?) eh, Sir; the first three laws of the Republic should be as follows:
[ul][li]Murphy’s Law, as we must be pragmatic as a Republic[]Sturgeon’s Law, as we must have humility, and []Murphy’s Law, as we must be pr–[/ul] now, how did that get into my notes again?[/li]
viva la revolution!
viva la rotation!
viva las vegas!
Catrandom- You will be my Anarchy Test Consulate of the Republic of Vancouver. I will send you to other countries so you can spread anarchy. Nice?
**
Very nice, fearless leader!
Then Kvallulf said:
I want to run all the secret smear campaigns against our neighbors. You know, how they are unfriendly the enviroment, industry, senoir citizens, armadillos, what have you.
**
Butting in on my territory, are we? Can I have him killed, FL?
Catrandom
Anarchy Test Consulate of the Republic of Vancouver
I would like to apply to be the Minister of Silly Walks.
I would like to apply to be the minister or coffee shops that way I can organize all sorts of poetry readings as well as enjoy as much coffee as I desire. (Since I by far don’t get enough now)
I love Vancouver island and would love to serve the new republic.
Since the 13-volume National Library is already spoken for, could I be the Dramshop Minister? The happiness and loyalty of your devoted subjects will be closely tied to the quality and quantity of the spirits that will fuel this revolution.
I live to serve. ::hic::
Veb
Its such a pain when people try to have me killed. Oh, well here we go again.
aha- You will be Grand Secretary of Tuna and Averything Living with Fins in The Republic of Vancouver. You will govern the fish, and make sure they don’t pull something, um, fishy(I should get overthrown for that!)
Kvallulf- You will make smear campaigns as our National Smearer Of The United States and France, Who Are Enemies of The Republic of Vancouver. You will taunt them and call them names. Animal references are appropriate i.e. capitalist pigs!
Initial Entry- Let’s see, you are getting paid zero now, so triple it.
Suo Na- You will be our Grand High Chancellor of Nanaimo Bar Monitoring in The Republic of Vancouver. You can test all of the bars you want, free of charge. And you get a nifty decoder ring.
Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor- You can be our Official National Scapegoat And Blame-bag of The Republic of Vancouver. You will be faulted for everything rong, but you will also be faulted for everything right.
Shirley Ujest- You are now the Official Walker And Tester of Silly Walks in The Republic of Vancouver. You will walk funny, maybe even imitating american pigs. This will raise the country’s morale.
Topaz Antares- You will be Commisar of Internal Coffee Emporiums of The Repbublic of Vancouver. Because this position is too “mainstream”, you will also work with adam yax to purvey the “hordicultural” products. And you will write pro-Vancouver poetry.
TVeblen- You will test our barrooms as the High Marshall of Spirit Tasting And Approval of The Republic of Vancouver. You shall test the spirits to make sure they are using imperial litres and are up to imperial par.
To Victory!
I have done some preliminary studies, in depth, which, I maintain especially qualifies me to be: Mushroom Tsar.
Of course, there will be a lot of pomp and, I suspect, a certain amount of circumstance. And tea, I like tea.
So you won’t have him killed for me? This isn’t as much fun as I thought it was going to be.
Catrandom
Anarchy Test Consulate of the Republic of Vancouver
[QUOTE]
**
PatrickM- Yes, you will work with our guerilla warfare ballet dancers, and cross train them in running. Then we will use them to push bobsleds. You will be Grand Internal External Olympic Spokesperson For Training of Cross-trained Soldier-Bobsledders of The Republic of Vancouver.
[QUOTE]
**
Oh most exalted one, Could we make it “Raftafarian Cross-Trained-soldier-Bobsledders?” That way we can get some experienced Jamaicans for the team.
Elbows- You will preform a valuable service of Grand Imperial High Mushroom Tzar of The Republic of Vancouver. This entails you to inspect and taste test our crop at the Imperial Mushroom Farmeries.
Catrandom- We do not kill those in our government. However, you can maim him if you want, just don’t hurt his kidneys. Also, please do not spread blood on the Imperial Carpets.
PatrickM- You may import as many Rastafarians as you can. Work with xenophon41 to pass immigration laws. We shall have many rastafarians. Get some who can cook, because I like jerk pork.
For the Glory of Vancouver!
The fearless leader said: “… The United States and France, Who Are Enemies of The Republic of Vancouver.”
The French our enemies? 
As recruiter for the Ballet Troopers, I must protest this. Many of my troups revere the great Diaghilev, whose “Ballets Russes” in Paris represent the height of the Terpsichorean art. The French should be our friends and allies, to combat the cultural hegemony of our neighbour to the south.
I would hate to see the Ballet Troopers have to resort to fomenting a violent coup d’état which would result in the fearless leader’s deposition and subsequent encounter with the guillotine.
General of the Ballet Troopers of The Republic of Vancouver
Hey I get to maim back right?
I get a decoder ring! WOOOO-HOOOOO!
Kvallulf- yes.
Arnold Winkelreid- You will train like the Bolshoi Ballet. The french men look like women, and the women don’t shave. There are more reasons than that, but I must make proclamations.
All Hell Can’t Stop Us Now!
So when does this revolution start? I think that we need to wait for gas prices to drop some, otherwise Molotov cocktails are too expensive to make.
I would like a position that could put my skills of anger management to work. Minister of Rage perhaps?
I would like to apply for the position of Lord High Exchequer of the Mint, with the power to hang counterfeiters, suspected conterfeiters, vagrants, vagabonds, cut-purses and n’eer do wells.
PatrickM, please stop by and pick up your 40,000 allegiance forms for our fine Jamaican brothers and sisters so that they may flock to the teeming shores of this Greatest Potential Republic on Earth and become our Rastafied Bobsledding Olympic soldiers. —What’s that? Allegiance? Oh don’t worry; nothing tricky here, just a simple statement of willingness to provide jerk pork and chicken at the whim of our FL (and/or behest of the great Uncle Cecil).
Be sure to pass our new recruits through the scrutiny of adam yax so that -er- horticultural studies may be performed (we never know what kind of cross-pollination with local flora may prove beneficial).
Oh! RoV!