Hey Vancouver
City of really cool people
Ruled by red_dragon60
Who took over
Hostily with sticks
And those appointed by him
From the SDMB
Our God is Cecil
All praise him
Let us enjoy the cooling rains
And the gorgeous gardens
With minimal snow in the winter
What a wonderful place this is
May it forever be this way
Let us rejoice*
Okay… I guess it needs a little work but this is good for now I think.
*Is this even a word?
*Note:*The italicized in the quote is typo correction. grins Oh and did you mean Commissar or Commissioner?
Aw what the hell, I guess I’ll apply for a position in your government. Do you have any need for a Canadian who has switched to your side? Puhleeeze!!! Puhleeeze!!!
Keith
adam yax- Don’t worry, I have plenty of gas that has been siphoned just sitting in my backyard. Heh heh heh…
Connor- You will be Minister of Raging Against Machines in The Republic of Vancouver. This means you will find machines to rage against, but they have to be foreign. Cars will be your first assignment. How good are you with key art on the doors of cars?I’ll double your salary if you can tell me what the heck “deus ex machina” means. Even FLs have trouble.
WallyM7- Your request has been granted with one small exception. Your title is now Overlord High Exchequer of the Mint, Purveyer of Boullion, And Justice Bringer toAll That Oppose The Official Banking System of The Republic of Vancouver. Go ahead and punish. You can even sell tickets.
xenophon41- Thank you for the smooth processment of the Rastafarians. Our dreams will soon come true.
TopazAntares- That was beautiful in a sort of pathetic, first try basis. I can almost hear the bongos. You will soon recieve helper monkeys to play the drums for you. Thank you for the corrections. FL has a bad keyboard, and cannot think straight when global domination is going through his mind. I meant Commisar. It’s kind of a military title. Vague and obscure, just the way we like it. Would you like to borrow a muse? I have a couple just eating my food in the Imperial Palace.
Odieman- You will be the Official High Commisioner of Tree Hugging and General Flora Morale in The Republic of Vancouver. That means you will periodically check our ancient redwood groves by hugging them to maintain their love of our great country. You will be issued a soft hugging coat and a fertilizer in the form of a soothing body rub for the tree’s health.
We shall oil our gears witht he blood of our enemies!
Let it be heard throughout the land that I, Overlord High Exchequer of the Mint, will take no prisoners.
I have no jail.
I do, however, have a gallows.
All dissenters, miscreants, terrorists, loiterers, murderers, mopers and street mimes will be dealt with swiftly and surely. Tickets and refreshments will be made available for the masses at extortionist prices.
A fair trial will be held immediately following the execution.
Thank you… I think I may skip the Monkeys but if you insist I shall take them. I would love to borrow a Muse and perhaps mine will show up from her vacation and give me something good on Vancouver.
I did get something not too bad on rain a little while ago only its more of a calling for rain… I’ll put it up if you want to see it though since Vancouver does get a fair amount of rain…
[hijack (but its my job)]
I, in fact, DO know what deus ex machinas means. Its a literary term, basically meaning “cop out”.
Are you familiar with stories that have completely implausible endings? Like the westerns where the good guy has absolutely no way out, and at the last minute the cavalry comes out of no where? Deus ex machinas. Old greek plays would have endings very similar, but (due to the lack of cavalries at the time) would have an angel or god lowered on the stage to rescue to damsel, hero, etc. Literal meaning - machine god.
Fearless leader, the Ballet Troops are sorely in need of refreshment after their exertions. Their pas-de-deux and pirouettes are progressing wonderfully, and their “attack” battemenets frappés, perfected by yours truly (modestly buffs fingernails against his shirt) will strike fear in any opponent.
Overlod High Exchequer, my troops are sorely in need of refreshments after their exertions. We desperately need some bouillon. After polling the troops, we have decided on 20 gallons of chicken. Please have it delivered ASAP.
Additionaly, the troops have been clamoring for their salaries. What is the hold-up? I am trying to appease them but I fear for the safety of the nation if this unfortunate situation continues.
I must protest the allocation of bongo-playing helper monkeys to TopazAntares, when the Ballet Troops have been reduced to practising without music since their inception. I hereby request a small corps of musicians as adjunct to the Ballet Troops, which corps will double as an army band for times of battle. (The Troops have asked me to emphasize the need for a bugle, a player of the bagpipes, and a harpist.)
FL, might I suggest you look through your mail; I have several new laws to pass before you.
[ul][li]The Tuna Law which proclaims (at the suggestion of Secretary of Tuna aha) If It Smells Like Fish, Congress Shall Pass no Laws Prohibiting the Eating Thereof[]The Percussive Summary Execution Act which allows WallyM7 to summarily terminate (with extreme prejudice) any bongo monkeys shirking their duty[]The Subsequent to First Entry Initiative which quadruples the zero salary of the Grand Commodore, Initial Entry[]The Conservation of Art Compromise which allows for either Brilliant Poetry & Woefully Inadequate Ballet or for Execrable Poetry and Scintillating Dance, but never for both Brilliant and Scintillating or both Woeful and Execrable at the same time[]and finally, the Silly Spirited Strolling Legislation which requires all pub crawling to be performed in accordance with the guidelines published by the Ministry of Silly Walks (Hon. Shirley Ujest[/ul][/li] Ecce Vancouver!
Not all my poetry is excruciating… just some of it… but doesn’t everyone have their bad days? I mean not all poets just churn out perfect stuff. Here see?
Droplets falling
clouds crying
cleansing
washing away
the pollution
all that is bad
making anew
the world
This I wrote sometime last year when my Muse first started to show up fairly regularily…
WallyM7- That’s some nice rules. We might want to branch out into Sparky, acid pools, man-eating gorrillas, phiranas, etc. so we can continue to gouge our population, like the WWF does. Stupid American entertainment!
TopazAntares- The muse is being sent FedEx. She should arrive soon. Your poem on the rain is good, seeing as we get it about 364 days a year. Beautiful poem.
Connor- That’s some nice hijacking. Thanks for the meaning. I will send you helper monkeys trained in rage, they will await your use.
Arnold Winkelreid- Well, what I meant was GOLD boullion, so I don’t think they will be able to drink that. Yet. Our labs are working on it right now. however, at Suo Na’s suggestion(see below) I have ordered 114 kegs of the finest in beer. Our labratories have already made them immune to drunkenness, so make sure they don’t drink it too fast.
Suo Na- I have not thought about the rest of Vancouver, just the island. It is perfect for the utopian society we are crafting. However, the Fogg’n’Suds has ceded their bar to us, as long as we still pay, don’t rough up other customers, clean up after the helper monkeys, etc.
aha- That’s some nice proclaimin’. Keep up the good work!
xenophon41- Thank you for putting all of our just proclamations into one nice, easy-to-read package, like Reader’s Digest. You will get another helper monkey.
Viva Vancouver!(in the good, revolutionary way)
Fearless Leader, we are most grateful for the offer of gold bouillon (not bullion) for refreshment of the troops. We eagerly await the results of the scientists work.
The Overlord High Exchequer of the Mint, Purveyer of Boullion, And Justice Bringer to All That Oppose The Official Banking System of The Republic of Vancouver (aka WallyM7) has unequivocally stated: The Ballet Troops have priority over everything.
I heartily concur with his sentiment, and further propose that the Speaker of the Nonexistent House of The Republic of Vancouver (aka xenophon41) enact this policy into law immediately.
Thank you, Overlord High Exchequer, for your prompt attention to the matter of the salaries of the Ballet Troops. The suffering incurred by the serfs will be amply compensated by the knowledge that the country is secure from invasion.
Speaking of the Speaker, the following law has been enacted: The Conservation of Art Compromise which allows for either Brilliant Poetry & Woefully Inadequate Ballet or for Execrable Poetry and Scintillating Dance, but never for both Brilliant and Scintillating or both Woeful and Execrable at the same time.
I fear for our mental well-being if this law remains on the books! The ballet troops are being trained to a pitch of perfection previously unknown to humankind. They will be incapable of anything less than Scintillating Dance. Does this mean that the country will be forever condemned to Execrable Poetry? [cattily] Not that the efforts so far produced by the Commisar of Internal Coffee Emporiums of The Republic of Vancouver (aka TopazAntares) have convinced me that we would ever see anything but execrable poetry. [/cattily] Of course, this is the fault of the Official National Scapegoat And Blame-bag of The Republic of Vancouver (aka Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor). Let me suggest to our national scapegoat that if our Commisar of Internal Coffee Emporiums would happen to meet with an unfortunate “accident”, perhaps then we would be spared much suffering. I of course would volunteer to take over the position. (My soul longs to sing and celebrate our nation in pentameter and hexameter.)
General of the Ballet Troopers of The Republic of Vancouver
We announce the Repeal of the Conservation of Art Compromise, in favor of the slightly more restrictive:
Conservation of Art and Combat Skills Reform Act
*Pursuant to the Acts Herein, shall be permitted within the Borders of the Republic the following Conditions, with no Waiver or Release except in times of National Emergency, Fire, Flood, acts of Piracy etc. ad. finitum:
Brilliant poetry, scintillating dance and high degrees of military competence except that [list=a][li]not the three conditions together[]any two may exist concurrently[]no two may be nonextant at the same point in time[]no mention shall be made of dance while fighting, poetry while speaking, fighting while walking, or malted milk At Any Time, except during the drinking or preparation thereof.[/list=a][/li]
(All Articles of Reform subject to revision by Deus ex Machina.)(Or Cecil Adams)