I am not sure if I should have posted in General Questions or not. I have been interested in this man in my building for a long time but never made any moves because i firmly believe the guy should. This is different, however, because he has MS. I sent him 2 cards, and slid my number under his door and he called and I’ve been visiting him the last two nights. I am asking because I am learning about this disease and am also curious about the sex angle. i am not sure if hes actually interested o rnot. I figured the phone number would be a clue, but maybe he thinks women wouldn’t be interested because of his ms, but I am.
I’m confused about who should reach out first? You don’t believe you should, but you did, because of MS? He reciprocated interest but you are not sure he is interested because he thinks you initiated contact?
Sorry. I don’t understand the confusion. I think you should talk to him. If it progresses to the sex part, I’m sure he will guide if there is anything different.
Sorry about the confusion. I am not the best writer. I usualy believe the man should make the first move. Most men would, however, maybe he assumes most women wouldn’t sign up for that. He reciprocated interest may mean he just wants a friend. I don’t want to come out and say I am romantically interested in you, as I fear rejection.
But you want him to be willing to do that.
I get it, I am old school and tend to wait and see also. But one thing I’ve learned in my decades on this rock, men aren’t mind readers. It sounds like he is a nice man, I doubt if he will make you feel stupid for showing interest. After having broken the ice (which you have done) I would just ask him if we could have a date, maybe go to dinner or coffee. That will make it clear to him that you consider it a date.
I don’t mind women making the first move—in fact I think it’s flattering. I don’t know how he feels about it, but if you’re spending time together, that sounds good.
As a male who used to struggle to read the signs, I think you’ve given him some big clues. I would advise some patience. You say you’ve been interested for a long time, but if it’s news to him, he may need time to catch up a bit. How often does he initiate contact? If it’s once a week, then you contact him once a week. That way you’re neither too anxious nor too indifferent.
I knew a woman with MS. She had a hard time eating sometimes (getting the fork to her mouth with the food still on it) but otherwise you wouldn’t notice she was different. I know she had a boyfriend; I always supposed she had a normal sex life.
Good luck!
I have a close friend with MS. I can say that he has a very active sex life. I can speak to that part of your question, and assure you that if there’s a problem there, it’s not because of MS.
Umm, I think your assurance is weak and a bit irresponsible, Acierocolotl.
National Multiple Sclerosis Society
mmm
Weak? Yes, certainly. I have one anecdote.
Irresposnible is rather strong. If you want to judge your life decisions on one anecdote, I’m not sure where to go with that.
He called me Wednesday, I visited him. He didn’t call Thurs cause he said he was having trouble with speech. I knew this cause I called him and he told me. I visited him last night. He called today and I visited a short time. When I leave, I hug him bye, I initiated that.
I figure he should realize I’m interested by the phone number giving. I don’t know how to broach the subject without being unusually obvious. Neither of us drive, he used to use a walker, but is lately in a wheelchair when going out
Bite the bullet, tell him you like him, and ask him for a date. You can do it in writing if that’s easier, and slip it under his door. You can say that, if he’s interested too, that he should call and tell you so, and that otherwise, you’ll assume he just wants to be friends and you’re fine with that (assuming you are.) Yes, rejection sucks, but sometimes you gotta take a risk to get what you want. Good luck.
ETA: Only he can tell you what he’s capable of. My guess is he may need pills at some point, and you may have to be on top, but you can probably find a way to get each other off.
Okay then. I saw him today, went over. He felt sleepy( he does a lot) so laid on his bed. I decided to lie next to him. He put his hand on my waist. I thought that was sweet. About ten minutes later, his hand goes down there. I’m like, okay, he IS interested. So then I did the same, and was surprised at the size. I asked him when he became interested in me, and he said he’d always been. So now I realize women Can make the first move! Anyway I am about to get on top, he tells me it needs to get harder. Mistake, as I am good at that act, and in a minute he was finished. He explained he hadn’t had any desire for two years and hadn’t even did himself, so that was to be expected. Sorry if its tmi but its a happy endong to my question. Thank you for the advice.
Congrats…I hope it all works out for you!
I see what you did there😏
Nice it all went well.
Aha! Finally with the hot steamy Penthouse stories!
Sounds like the start of a growing solidifying relationship. 
Bravo for taking the chance and taking the lead.
Welcome to the Soft Porn Message Board, I guess.
Sorry about the softporn. I like to share. And thanks. I guess my preconceived notion of men making the first move is outdated.
If Ms. P hadn’t made the first move I’d probably be a bitter fifty-something single guy.
I feel bad we missed a year and a half of times together. I hope we have more, I don’t know how long before he needs a full time caretaker.