“Creamy Italian? How about creamy Polish?”
“A growing number of scientists are warning that we could all be living in Newfoundland soon.”
God help us all.
“Heineken?! Fuck that shit. Pabst Blue Ribbon!”
"
-D/a
“Scripture also says ‘Render unto Caesar what Caesar demands.’ And right now, Caesar demands a building permit.”
“I’ve been trying to sell my idea for a “child pulper” to the county school board for years. Unfortunately the de-pulpification process, which returns the children to their original, inefficient shapes is still somewhat flawed.”
“My wife went to Vorbarr Sultana and all I got was this bloody shopping bag.”
“Real Daleks don’t climb stairs; they level the building!”
'I recently joined a religion called “Jenova’s Witnesses.” It’s based on the teachings of a man who played Final Fantasy VII more than he should have. ’
'The designer of the gun had clearly not been instructed to beat about the bush. “Make it evil,” he’d been told. “Make it totally clear that this gun has a right end and a wrong end. Make it totally clear to anyone standing at the wrong end that things are going badly for them. If that means sticking all sort of spikes and prongs and blackened bits all over it then so be it. This is not a gun for hanging over the fireplace or sticking in the umbrella stand, it is a gun for going out and making people miserable with.” ’
“We know God from Godzilla. Godzilla can take down iron chariots.”
“You had to hand it to Lord Vetinari, if you didn’t he’d send large men to come and take it anyway.”
“You sir, have not only crossed the bridge into toomuchinformationland, you’ve built a mighty empire there.”
“This is a tricky one, but can be resolved by reductio ad absurdem. If Hannibal wins, then Batman would be prepared with fava beans and a nice Chianti. But Batman being prepared contradicts the assumption that Batman loses. Therefore, Batman winning is the only logically tenable possibility.”
“You know that saying, ‘If you want peace, prepare for war?’ They wanted a lot of fucking peace.”
“I’m allergic to alcohol. I break out in handcuffs.”
Hmm, that’s Slick Willie for you, always with the smooth talk.
You can’t put too much water in a nuclear reactor.
“The Miracle of the Dancing Bear is not that the bear dances well. It is that the bear dances at all.”
This has been in my head a lot in the past few days, and I would like to know where it came from. It’s not original with me. A Google search was inconclusive.
“Hot-dog vendors had an image problem already without one of them passing out in front of a whorehouse.”
Music is the pleasure that the human soul encounters from counting without knowing that it is counting.
– Leibniz
from Tom Robbins tribute to redheads, Still Life with Woodpecker
“Trust others and you will be betrayed; trust no one, and you betray yourself.”
“Maybe we’re just jaded, but your villainy is not particularly impressive.”
“If you have to look along the shaft of an arrow from the wrong end, if a man has you at his mercy, then hope like hell that man is an evil man. Because the evil like power, power over people, and they want to see you in fear. They want you to know you are going to die. So they’ll talk. They’ll gloat. They’ll watch you squirm. They’ll put off the murder like another man will put off a good cigar. So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.”
"Oh, ho ho! You sly dog! You got me monologuing! I can’t believe it… "
“If you take in a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.”
-RAH
Children are made readers of the laps of their parents.
“The law, in its majestic equality, forbids the rich and the poor alike to sleep under bridges, to beg in the streets, and to steal bread.”
Anatole France.
Why do you say these things to me, when you know I will kill you for it?
Here’s lookin’ up your old address. (drinking toast)
“You are the future, little extremophiles.”