When you see a bear o wearing a Hitler helmet on a bicycle jump off and maul its trainer, that bear is not going crazy. It’s gong Bear! – Chris Rock
It is not enough that I succeed. All my friends must fail. – Irish proverb
- Ethan Coen
Filler filler
One I actually heard used – and it’s not nonsense, there’s a story behind it. The man who said it has a musical Indian accent:
“You cannot mitigate a nuclear safety hazard with a plastic owl.”
“I shall look as if I were suffering. I shall look a little as if I were dying. It is like that. Do not come to see that. It is not worth the trouble…”
The liar’s punishment is not that no one will believe him. It is that he cannot believe anyone else.
Announcing your intentions is a good way to hear God laugh.
“I viewed the things I saw.”
(a quote from a college essay that my friend had to edit)
Cool. Cool cool cool.
*“The trouble with quotes on the Internet is that you can never know if they are genuine.”
*
- Abraham Lincoln
I did poo poo in my pants! Why! :smack:
Tell him I’m coming and Hell’s coming with me.
I’m just going outside and may be some time.
“…Small, isn’t he?”
“I’m going to let you live…longer than you want to.”
“You will not touch the boy. You will never touch the boy. Because if you do, you will wonder why your friend, Death took so long to find you.”
“Then the killers departed, having gone in with the long knife, and come out leaving nothing but blood and silence behind them.”
“There’s no God. No side of the angels. There’s just me.”
“Arhys rides out now. Pity his enemies, for death on a demon horse descends upon them out of the darkness, bringing sword and fire. Many will bear him company on his journey to his Father’s Keep tonight, their souls like ragged banners borne before his echoing feet.”
“They were vast and they were ancient and they were monsters. Their nature blazed forth from them, unhidden by any trace of self-deception. They knew what they were, what they had made of themselves and they gloried in it. They were evil, evil as an almost pure concept, hating everything that wasn’t them. Because the only thing they wouldn’t or couldn’t feed on was each other. They ate life, not just for sustenance but for the sheer joy of destroying it. Antigods, concerned only with consuming creation.”
“The powers that I may wield are vaster than those of many gods that humans have worshiped. There is not a man I meet but I could take his life. There is not a world I pause on that I could not lay waste utterly, or remake as I choose. I am the Lord God, or as much of one as either of you is likely to ever encounter.”
“When you lived in caves, we gave you everything you are. And now, we take it back.”
“Please accept my assurances that no personal animosity of any kind is intended towards any of you. Nonetheless it appears, unfortunately that I must now go forth and destroy your respective worlds. Perhaps you would like to draw straws, to determine where I might best start.”
“Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That’s what’s important! Valor pleases you, Crom… so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen, then to HELL with you!”
- Conan, Conan the Barbarian
I am shocked - Shocked! - that there is gambling in this establishment.
He did not know if he was sane or insane. It was driving him insane.
It’s a draw. I mean, it shouldn’t happen to a dog. I mean, the situation’s hopeless, but not serious.
It’s 1873 - you can sue her!
There is nothing so critical to a sound disposition as being able to find a washroom when one is needed.
There is nothing that overwhelms the senses quite like an unwelcome silence.
Decadence has been given a bad name throughout history. The truth is there is never a better time to be alive than a decadent one. The food is good, liquor flows, women are usually willing and someone else is fighting the wars. It’s invariably the next generation that has to pick up the bill.
(all by science fiction author Jack McDevitt)
“Imagine that you are creating a fabric of human destiny with the object of making men happy in the end, giving them peace and rest at last. Imagine that you are doing this but that it is essential and inevitable to torture to death only one tiny creature…in order to found that edifice on its unavenged tears. Would you consent to be the architect on those conditions? Tell me. Tell the truth.”
— Fyodor Dostoyevsky (The Brothers Karamazov)
In the absence of consensus chaos is better than bad rules.