I’m sorry for anything I’ve said or written or gestured that gave offense to anyone, ever. Yes, there were people I actually meant to offend, and I’m sorry about that too.
Really, I suck. 
I’m sorry you feel that way.
i’m sory I kan’t spel goode, and has bad grammr.
You’re a LOLCAT?
I must express my deepest apologies to everyone who has posted and will post in this thread, for being twice as awesome as the rest of you combined.
As a Canadian, I feel it’s my duty to apologize… not because I’ve done anything wrong, but because it’s our unofficial national sport.
I apologize for the need to apologize.
If you ever got to combine with anyone you might not feel that way.
So sorry.
I’m sorry.
I’m glad I no longer live in Australia, or I’d have to do this all over again next year.
< Channeling ex wife> Oh sure, Saying sorry fixes everything! Too late for that mister! </ Channeling ex wife>
I apologize for not posting more and for being so bland that I’m practically invisible when I do. If by any chance I’ve ever been visible enough to be noticed and to have said anything insulting or offensive, I would like to take this opportunity to apolize.
I apologize. I’m really really sorry, I apologise unreservedly. I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. Any imputations were totally without basis in fact, and were in no way fair comments, and were motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that such comments may have caused any of you, or your families, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slanders at any time in the future.
I’m sorry that I broke our marriage and that I didn’t try harder to put it back together. I’m also sorry that I’m angry at you for recognizing it is completely over before I did. You really didn’t deserve all the mess I caused.
</debbie downer>
Sorry folks, funny flew out the window yesterday. I’ve got missing with reward posters out so hopefully someone will turn it in soon.
If anyone was justifiably offended by what was said, I apologize.
I’m sorry that I wasn’t a better friend to the people in my past.
But at the same time, I’m sorry that I allowed many of those relationships continue after they turned sour.
I’m sorry that I tolerated some pretty bad shit in my relationships.
I’m sorry that I defended myself in inappropriate ways, causing more problems for all concerned. Moreso because it made it easy for the shitty people to brush off their own failings and cast me as the villain.
And it made if easy for good people to see and believe the worst of me.
I’m sorry that I sought fellowship with people who were wrong for me, based on faulty ideals and a severely damaged view of who and what I was.
I’m sorry that I wasn’t the man I should have been.
But I’m quite happy that those days are long past, and that I am now the man that I should be. Even if I’m not the man you want me to be. Because I have discovered that to be happy in life, I need to be who I am, not who others want me to be.
And I’m not sorry for that.
I’m deeply sorry I offended whoever is sending that hurricane straight toward my house. I’ll certainly try not to do that again.
I’m sorry I made so many of you think about things you’re sorry about.
I’m sorry you’re Canadian too.
**
d&r**
I’m sorry I’m such a chowderhead.
I’m not sorry for rhinocerosing the weasel, but I am sorry I ditched the Prozac.
I’d apologise to my former wife if I really cared to or could find anything to apologise for.
And I totally apologise for stuffing a fistful of host into my gob that one time when I was in Catholic school for 5 months…really. Totally sorry about that.
I want to apologize to Lucky.
I was in second grade. I always followed the rules and did what I was supposed to do.
Lucky was the neighbor kid’s Irish Setter. Just a goofy, rangy, joy-filled dog. He was allowed to run loose because this was in the country about 38 years ago.
One day he followed me down the gravel road to the bus stop.
I knew it was dangerous. Lucky ran in great happy circles, looping wide around me, showing off. I wanted him to stop following me…I was worried about cars, worried about being responsible for this big dog, and worried about being late for the school bus.
I’d like to say i didn’t know any better; I was just a second grader…but I knew. The bus stop was by the highway – in those days the speed limit was 70 miles an hour, if anyone was even reading the signs.
I hung back away form the highway for a while, urging Lucky to go home, but it was all a game to him, scooting away from my grasp. When the bus came into view in the distance, I moved to my appointed place, resenting the dog’s persistence.
A small, frustrated boy, thinking only of myself.
It’s been nearly forty years, Lucky, but I can still see the startling brightness of the huge endless pool of blood, after the tractor-trailer touched your head as you ran past me.
I’m grown up now, Lucky. I’ve come to love dogs like family members, something I didn’t understand when I knew you. You were beautiful and fast.
I’m so sorry I cheated you of your time with your boy.
Sailboat
I’m sorry to anyone, unbeknownst to me, I may have inadvertently killed.