I did, but some angry guy yelled at me for spending so much money on it.
Do we need to change the title?
Everyone yells at each other?
Just tossing this in … because I haven’t yet had coffee:
This bit:
JFC, man, you seem to be getting really worked up over this trivia, to the point that unfortunately you seem to be misinterpreting a lot of what I said to fit your rapidly developing bias.
This isn’t the same thing as telling somebody to “Fuck right the fuck off” in the pit. It feels much more akin to a man calling a woman ‘hysterical.’
The old saying, “People may not remember what you said, but they will remember how they made you feel?”
Oddly – but, IMHO, not at all coincidentally – that comment of yours was what stuck with me about that whole exchange.
Please don’t make the mistake of discounting or ignoring how incisive, personal, condescending, low, and outright shitty it comes off.
Maybe if you weren’t a condescending prick in almost every interaction you have with people, you’d get less “confrontational” responses.
yeah, I’m glad to know it’s not just me.
I’m not yelling at anyone, but yes. There are several ways of “being a jerk.” Insults are one of them, but so is condescension, and man that is one of my biggest pet peeves for as long as I’ve been alive.
We may be talking past each other to some extent, but I thought I had done that here:
As for that last line in your quote, no, I didn’t claim that my interpretation of what you said was “deeply insightful” or objectively correct. I said that your phrasing could be easily misinterpreted, and the fact that I misinterpreted it was evidence of that.
That was the same post with my “calm down” comment. Which was meant to say that the degree of hostility coming from you over this seems excessive. Maybe you don’t see it because this is your standard operating mode in the Pit.
Ironically, I’m getting flak from several sources when my intention was to defend the SDMB against the implication of your statement that “the amount of deference to the US military shown on this board never ceases to amaze me”. To the extent that this is true, it’s not about the board, it’s about US military culture.
I had no idea what this was about until I followed the link. Ah, the argument we were having in the Beck thread about the extent to which a person’s disabilities should mitigate how much we criticize them or enforce standards of behaviour.
I agree with your statement above that "People may not remember what you said, but they will remember how they made you feel”. You’re one of our better posters and if I said something there that was hurtful I’m sorry and I assure you it was unintentional. Ironically, here we are in the Pit where making people feel bad about themselves seems to be one of its goals.
I’d be surprised if you ever hurt anyone intentionally.
I think it’s just that you’re a linguist (you’re a linguist, right?) so you can get very caught up in the specificity of words in a way that most people don’t. For most people, what we say is relatively close to what we meant to say and that’s good enough. We don’t want to be hassled about it, especially after we’ve clarified our position.
Now there is a time and place for precision. In my fiction, I will spend weeks trying to get a tiny exchange of dialogue just right. I will kill myself doing this. So I get the impulse. (Although it’s worth noting that whenever I labor over something like this and give it to someone for a reread, they’ll say, “I’m not sure what you changed.” It’s a bigger issue inside my head than in reality.)
In this case, a lot of people understood Dibbles’ position and clarification with no problem, so it’s not like there is an objective measure of clarity anyway. Most people got it.
Although I disagree with the content of that post, and the content is the most important part. I’m not deferential to the military. I’ve seen some posters be deferential but it doesn’t really seem like a board-wide phenomenon. Or even an America-wide phenomenon. This is most common with Republicans and we don’t have many of those on this board any longer. My general feeling about the military is that I want service members to be happy and healthy and also held accountable when they do fucked up shit, but I’m more likely to blame their leaders than individuals for poor conduct. I’ve actually never met a service member who demanded deference, just a lot of non-service members who demand deference for them while they looked embarrassed. But those same “supporters” vote for people who cut service members’ benefits and deny them health care, so I don’t take them that seriously.
Whether you support the military or not, and what that support actually means, is a controversial question here.
Oh the other thing is that if you were around post-911 people were over the top with their deference to the military, I would not call that the status quo. People got really freaking weird for a while.
Agreed. Those are my feelings. And I grew up in a military family, living on military bases for much of my life, and I’ve been indirectly and directly employed by the military (as a civilian), and my dad is retired military. So, I’ve been immersed in it quite a bit for my whole life. I don’t hold any special reverence for it, but also don’t demonize people who serve either.
No, computer science, but there’s a commonality with natural language where precision of communication can be critically important. But I do have a hobbyist-level interest in linguistics, particularly for criticizing grammatical errors in SDMB posts!
I don’t demonize it, either. I demonize administrations who unnecessarily put service members in harm’s way and create a culture of war while sitting comfortably at home and feigning patriotism.
Absolutely. What I mean is I don’t consider someone bad just because they’re in the military. But we do have people who are committing atrocities and they deserve all of the scorn and disgust that they are due, particularly the assholes making the decisions to blow up fishing boats and bomb schools.
Well, one thing is true - you’re still talking at me, despite:
and
Look, asshole, stop trying to excuse your condescending bullshit with more tedious explanation, that’s not going to make anything right. Just fuck off, like I told you to (and like you said you were going to).
I ignored you until you started to sound reasonable, and then I tried to respond reasonably. All I see now is the emergence of your usual persona – a schoolyard bully spoiling for another fight. I’m not interested. Fuck off.
Like fuck you did:
Get it through your thick skull - tone policing is not “respond[ing] reasonably” - yet you continue to do so while claiming to be the reasonable one.
Like I’ve said in countless other threads - “not swearing” and “politeness” are not to be mistaken for the same thing. You’re just a fucking rude prick making personal remarks, as much as you try and cloak it in fake politesse.
I asked you first…
Does iiandyiiii like olives?
Pitted?
Not really. One of the foods I haven’t developed a taste for.
No doubt you prefer foods native to Africa. Mostly plants and such?
Maybe he’s a Columbian Hippo?
They have Hippos in Columbia South Carolina? Or Columbia Maryland? I guess they may exist there if they have a zoo.
Sorry…it is just a reflex. Seeing Colombian spelled with a u is pet peeve. I even saw it in a printed menu once, “Columbian Coffee” where they should have known better.
//i\\