Potentially sticky romantic dilemma

On Valentine’s Day, a “friend” posted on her Timeline, implying she was looking for a relationship. I messaged her, suggesting that we give it a shot. We may get together over Spring Break (March). It gets complicated because we’ve only communicated on Facebook lately, after being school friends 15 years ago. We agree to go slow, as we’re vastly different people now. When we knew each other better, I was in a dysfunctional relationship with her friend. (I’m 4 yrs older) Truth be told, I was tempted to dump the gf for her friend. This friend has died, so there’s that dynamic, of possible “betrayal”. I’m unsure she even remembers the drama from back then. I plan to ask her about it.

tl;dr Contemplating dating late girlfriend’s friend.

When I mentioned it, she replied that it wasn’t until I brought it up that she thought about it.

As long as you weren’t involved, even tangentially in the first girl’s death, I think you’re cool.

We had lost touch, she died of natural causes.

I don’t see any betrayal.

Me neither.

Ok, I tend to overthink romantic situations. I also may have scared her off. The cart and horse got a little far apart. I hope it works out.

What could possibly go wrong?


Make sure not to mix the names up. Girls hate being called the name of their dead friend by the dead friend’s ex BF.

Oops. I guess I jinxed it now, huh?

AH- That won’t happen…BUT I did evidently have Freudian slips, calling the deceased one by an ex’s name.

Know what girls love? Listening to their date talk about their ex-girlfriends, even the dead ones.

You don’t need to talk about her. Just when you go on a date, ask for a table for three, pull out an empty chair long enough for the dead ex to sit down, and include her in the conversation.

I’ll go along with the flow here - I don’t see a problem. Don’t bring up the late lady yourself, but if she broaches the subject, respond with compassion.

Why do you think that already?

First of all, “sticky” is a word best avoided in the area of romance.

synonyms:awkward, difficult, tricky, ticklish, problematic, delicate, touch-and-go, touchy, embarrassing, sensitive, uncomfortable; etc.

And that’s why they call me Lance Romance.:stuck_out_tongue:

the following is blatantly stolen from shitmydadsays from 2009

“Son. Let women figure out why they won’t screw you, don’t do it for them.”

Cinnamon- I kinda jumped the gun about expectations

Count-Captain Kirk is a wise man.

Did you tell her you’d already booked a hotel?

“But it has two beds!”

Reading this, it is unclear as to what her response was to you asking her out. What did she say? Did she give you a “maybe” answer? A definitive “yes”? What? I’m sensing no definitive answer here. Which makes me think all this hand-wringing and nervousness is *a bit *premature.