Predatory Sexual Fantasies of the Hetero Female

[AHunter3]

Just curious… those of you who are female and more or less heterosexual… from the time you were first cognizant of sexual appetite onwards to the present, of what flavor and texture are your fantasies regarding doing unto males without consideration for and/or in violation of their wills? This could include “seduction”, i.e, your target-person is brought to a state of willing (perhaps enthusiastic) cooperation but starts off opposed; but it should not include convincing the guy or bringing him around in above-the-board scenarios, if you end up with a willing participant it should be due to turning his senses against his better judgment or some such non-benign thing, if you see what I mean.

Before going any farther: this is not to be used to argue that coercive or manipulative practices in sex are OK. And, having said that, let me also ask: to what extent do you kind of “mask” this portion of your sexual self lest it be used as testimony in favor of genuine coercive or manipulative practices?

And also: Compare and contrast with the extent to which you fantasize being on the “prey” end of sexually predatory conduct. Conventional wisdom says y’all get off more on being the seducees. What’s your take on that?

And if you’re so inclined and theory-geek enough to rise to the bait, do some feminist theory: is this intrinsic to sex and/or power and/or the human condition and so forth, or is the power to sexually exploit / likelihood of being exploited sexually erotic to us only because we’re in a context where sex is pursued in that manner? (Or recast in your own terms, etc)

[Grrr]

I’m not a woman so I don’t have too much to add here, except:

Woman are WAAAAYYYY better a manipulating sex than us guys are.

SO good in fact, some women can manipulate us with out us even knowing it! Or better yet making US (we guys) think we are the manipulators, when in fact they are.

It truely boggles the mind.

Not that I’m complaining mind you.

[Little_Nemo]

It’s like the old joke; why are women always more relaxed on a date?

Because they already know whether or not there’s going to be sex.

[stringy]

@AHunter3

a) of what flavor and texture are your fantasies regarding doing unto males without consideration for and/or in violation of their wills?

b) to what extent do you kind of “mask” this portion of your sexual self lest it be used as testimony in favor of genuine coercive or manipulative practices?

c) Compare and contrast with the extent to which you fantasize being on the “prey” end of sexually predatory conduct. Conventional wisdom says y’all get off more on being the seducees. What’s your take on that?

d) is this intrinsic to sex and/or power and/or the human condition and so forth, or is the power to sexually exploit / likelihood of being exploited sexually erotic to us only because we’re in a context where sex is pursued in that manner? (Or recast in your own terms, etc)

I’ve snipped and given the letters for my own convenience…

a) Not really part of my fantasy life (hardly necessary for any of us to add that it’s not part of our real life either, I feel confident to assume). I find enthusiasm very appealing, in every aspect of my life and relationships with others, and that colours my needs in my sex life too.

b) Depends on who I’m talking to. Here on the Dope I see no need to mask any opinions on the matter. I don’t have these fantasies, but if I did, I feel I could safely voice them here. Other places or situations - if I had these tastes, I would almost certainly feel safer keeping them to myself or only confiding in a trusted partner. There’s just too many people who would take it the wrong way.

c) Not part of my fantasies either, see the part above about enthusiasm. I’ve known women who’ve been raped and assaulted, I’ve had emotional blackmail used to “seduce” me, and it’s left me feeling very hostile towards attempts at coercion and manipulation. Obviously, we all react in different ways, and another woman with my experiences could feel the opposite. But as always, I think “conventional wisdom” is based on lazy thinking rather than a real assessment of all the possibilities. I bet conventional wisdom doesn’t take into account a quarter of the variety of experience and shades of grey out there.

d) Possibly out of my depth here, but I’ll cast a vote for context. It’s a common dynamic between partners in our current setup of society, running the full range from fun playful games to outright abuse, and it’s not surprising that lots of people take their fun where they can find it. I mean, if that’s how you think of relations between partners, in terms of pursuit and surrender, then (barring any unusual problems) why not enjoy it? But I don’t think it’s intrinsic, I don’t think it’s the only way to go, and I don’t think enough people explore other possibilities.

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On preview: Honestly, if it’s about sex or politics, and the OP asks for a response from a subsection of readers, you can almost bet that the first few posts will be “I’m not part of that group, so I’m not able to answer those questions, but here’s a few vague thoughts, I’m sure you’re really interested even though you didn’t ask me”.

[Anaamika]

Thanks, stringy, for breaking down the questions so nicely.

@AHunter3

a) of what flavor and texture are your fantasies regarding doing unto males without consideration for and/or in violation of their wills?

b) to what extent do you kind of “mask” this portion of your sexual self lest it be used as testimony in favor of genuine coercive or manipulative practices?

c) Compare and contrast with the extent to which you fantasize being on the “prey” end of sexually predatory conduct. Conventional wisdom says y’all get off more on being the seducees. What’s your take on that?

d) is this intrinsic to sex and/or power and/or the human condition and so forth, or is the power to sexually exploit / likelihood of being exploited sexually erotic to us only because we’re in a context where sex is pursued in that manner? (Or recast in your own terms, etc)

a) I rarely think about seducing men without consideration for their will. I also like enthusiasm.
b) Since I don’t think about it, I don’t have to mask it.
c) I often do fantasize about being on the prey end. Not only that, but I have often fantasized about being a man, and *being * the predator. :o
d) YES - men have more power and sometimes it’s erotic to think of myself in a position of power. After all, even if I do seduce or overcome, it’s not penetration and there’s something unmistakable about penetration.

[Inigo_Montoya]

@Anaamika

After all, even if I do seduce or overcome, it’s not penetration and there’s something unmistakable about penetration.

This is an interesting statement, I’ve heard it in various forms before from other wimmins. It’s interesting because I for one seem to place a lot less “power value” on penetration than women do. Could have something to do with never having been on the receiving end of a penis so it’s likely that I know not whereof I speak. But when it comes to sexual power over someone else I tend to focus more on getting a desire response. Not necessarily drawing out a 30 minute orgasm–I mean, who really wants that?–but more simply getting the other person to a state of willingness. Don’t get me wrong, penetration and climax are all well and good, but in my mind penetration is the beginning of the end of the encounter and climax is as enjoyable as hearing “Last Call!” in your favorite bar. Could just be me. But I’ve known plenty of women who seem to get what they need simply by confirming the fact that they have given a guy wood. That’s all they want–the knowledge that they have power over someone’s involuntary physical response. We call them cock-teases.

[Kalhoun]

I dunno. Most women I know have been conditioned, either through warnings or experience, to abhor the beast that is sexual manipulation. Most women I know are longing for an honest sexual relationship. One devoid of any sort of game-playing that isn’t mutually agreed-upon. Therefore, I don’t want an upper hand, an edge, or a smug, secretive self-assuredness. Just an honest lay.

[Kalhoun]

@Kalhoun

I dunno. Most women I know have been conditioned, either through warnings or experience, to abhor the beast that is sexual manipulation. Most women I know are longing for an honest sexual relationship. One devoid of any sort of game-playing that isn’t mutually agreed-upon. Therefore, I don’t want an upper hand, an edge, or a smug, secretive self-assuredness. Just an honest lay.

And only with my husband.

[Queuing]

@Anaamika

Thanks, stringy, for breaking down the questions so nicely.

a) I rarely think about seducing men without consideration for their will. I also like enthusiasm.
b) Since I don’t think about it, I don’t have to mask it.
c) I often do fantasize about being on the prey end. Not only that, but I have often fantasized about being a man, and *being * the predator. :o
d) YES - men have more power and sometimes it’s erotic to think of myself in a position of power. After all, even if I do seduce or overcome, it’s not penetration and there’s something unmistakable about penetration.

What about a strapon? Or is the fact that its fake take some of the ‘unmistakable’ away? Some heterosexual men enjoy anal play, and would probably be more then willing to have a woman penetrate them. I would imagine the role reversal aspect of it could be a major reason why.