…pedophiles do not CHANGE. It is never an accident. They do all of it on purpose and are NEVER sorry they did it only sorry they got CAUGHT. They will not change. They are somehow less than human. They are great actors but do not have any sense of guilt about anything. They truly are monsters in human form. Of course that is just my opinion from having lived with one.
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Being related to several, I can only confirm in the deepest sense what you have experienced. The greatest caution taken is specifically in not getting caught, or in reducing what backlash there may be. What is truly disgusting is that in some cases they are not sorry they got caught because in that area of morality they not only lack any but have a sinkhole. They would have to gain morality to be morally bankrupt. They have a sort of moral debt, if that makes any sense.
Anyone who went to the church my grandfather helped to found would be rather surprised to learn that he molested all ten of his legitimate children (the one he didn’t molest didn’t live with my father’s family. That one was born of another woman, which is another rant and issue in itself).
There is, I repeat, nothing incorrect in the feelings and facts you have on this issue. I do not feel I can stress that with enough severity.
This is flat-out wrong. Almost any genetic father has a claim to his children, visitation and even custody. A friend of mine was proven to have a child by a rape, and the “father” ended up gong to get court and getting weekly visitation. The mother had to go to prison every week to turn her son over to her rapist.
Sexually abusive fathers do get visitation and even custody. Either the mother’s claims are not believed or he is seen as entitled to supervised visitation. The whole system is really fucked-up on this issue.
I follow this thread and boggle that people wonder why I never told when I was a little girl. Telling does not necessarily stop the abuse and sometimes the reactions from others compound what is already a horribly painful situation. Hell, my mother walked in and saw him with her own eyes and did nothing because there would have been scandal and we would have had to go live in an apartment. She couldn’t bear the shame. Gee thanks mom… somehow I knew this would be all about you.
In my case my father preferred girls. While I got the sexual assault my brother got the physical assault. I also got good at helping him smooth the waters when he would get his various girlfriends angry with him. If he was sleeping at a girlfriend’s house he wasn’t crawling in bed with me at night and I was happier that way.
By the time I was old enough to realize I could tell people and have him arrested he played some extra trump cards. He had been forced to undergo some therapy for charges my half brother brought against him. These charges went nowhere and I don’t know if they were true or not (it is a really long story) and he would brag daily that his therapist believed he was being railroaded by his ungrateful child and blah blah… Then he took me to see his lawyer and swear that none of the stuff my brother said happened could have happened and that my mother was crazy (she was) and a bunch of other stuff.
I really did not think I could tell after that as he would just trot out all his ‘proof’ that I was just another ungrateful child or had been swayed by my lunatic mother.
These men do not care about anything other than their next opportunity to offend. They are fantastic liars and often place themselves in positions where they are seen as pillars of the community. My father was PTA president!
All, I read all of this and feel the incredible pain you have all been through.
I tried to take custody of the little girl that had been molested as well as her three brothers but the courts said I had no standing. The mother in this case knew too and had admitted that she had. I felt like she didn’t deserve to keep those kids and they deserved better than her. They were all really good little kids.
My son’s father made about $120K/year he felt his money could buy him out of trouble and it could for a long time.
Let’s find ways to change the laws and change society’s perception of all of this so future generations don’t have to go thru it. Write to your congressmen for tougher laws. Work to educate people. Support sex offender registration. Boycott advertiser that use half naked children in ads. Report spam that advertises “young teens” to the FBI. They have a website for every city and there is an email address just forward it to them.