Oh, and a helpful hint for all first-time expectant fathers out there. I guess that the hormones in the pregnant female make her nails grow quickly and strong. One night, before the birth, while she is sleeping, CUT THEM OFF! I still have scars on my palms from Alex’s birth, and he just turned 7!
“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
Dan Quayle
I wouldn’t brag too much about those scars.I had to watch 2 C sections.It takes a little healing. Sometimes you appreciate not being a woman.
{{{ Alex was born. 3 1/2 hours, start to finish. People ask me if I was there, I say that Sharon almost wasn’t there. }} PTVroman
3 1/2 hours…that’s nothing. With my last child, my water had broke at about 7 p.m., and I decided to go into the hospital right away, regardless of the fact that I wasn’t having any contractions yet. My contractions started at about 9 p.m., and he was born at 9:36 (that’s two and a half hours from start to finish). BTW, his name is Alex too 
Shadowfox
Its a gift.
Had more “false labor” today- it woke me up from a nap but it went away after I got up to pee. As soon as I have “regular” contractions Mom and Aunt Gail want me to go to the hospital, since most of our family have REALLY short labors and want me to give birth at UNMC, not in the back of my new Chevy (a sentiment I agree with totally…)My mother in law wants it to be born Friday (her birthday). Just as long as it’s soon…
Thanks for all the wonderfully funny stories and support so far. You all are terrific!
Zette- hope you “catch”! Don’t necessarily worry if the test doesn’t come up pink right away. The home test and dr. test was actually wrong in October (one missed period) but the pregnancy was found in November. I was SURE I had mono since I felt so sleepy and groggy. Went in for a mono test only to find out I was pregnant!
Thanks again everyone!
PR
Thanks for all the great funny stories so far.
I personally think that there should be some kind of Merit Badge system to be given for women after they’ve given birth. One badge could have a stomach with a ziplock across it to indicate a C-Section. Another could have a number on it indicating how much weight was put on during pregnancy. One could be for each child born with their dates on it and with what husband and who has custody. Another, and this is the biggie, indicating how many hours of labor…etc. It could be worn on a sash around the new momma whenever she wants and it would either generate conversation " " Ohh I see you have the " I gave birth in an elevator badge" or give someone fair warning, " Oh oh, a 92 hour labor badge, she’s a person to avoid…"
Athena, thanks for the websight. I shall look into it.
WE are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.
If/When I get this thing up and running, I need a clever name for it. Something that indicates we are intelligent parents who do not buy beanie babies or other marketing scams.
Pragmatic Parent?
Praire, don’t worry too much about the baby’s bath stuff. A baby really only sleeps, eats and poops and doesn’t get all that dirty except the lint they pick up in the fat rings of their necks. I found a handy trick for bathing was taking an empty dish washing soap container ( Palmolive or whatever as an example) and fill it with warm water. Soap up the baby and the squeeze the warm water all over them for a quick and gentle rinse. It is especially effective in getting between the folds of fat and the genitalia area.
When the baby can hold up his head on his own, I highly recommend the shower scene. It is a fast way to scrub down a gooey sticky child. The sooner you get them use to the shower, the easier bathtime will be in the future.
When all else fails, stick them on the roof of the car and go through the local car wash hey , it’s touchless…
Shirley said:
Another example of my wife going the opposite way. With both of ours, she lost weight (after the baby was born, that is). They were the best diet plan she’s ever been on. (Well, ok, she actually was on a diet with the second, due to minor gestational diabetes.)
“I don’t believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate
I don’t believe in forever or love as a mystical state
I don’t believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above” – Neil Peart, RUSH, “Ghost of a Chance”
ShirleyU: I gave up on resisting Beaniebabies.Actually, I think it’s ok that my son has an interest outside of Gameboy that leads to interaction with both boys and girls at school. And let’s face it, everybody goes thru a collecting phase at some point.
Hmm, I don’t know about the weight merit badge Shirley. Not all of us want to admit publicly how much weight we’ve gained during the pregnancy. (Ok, I’ve gained 21 lbs, but I was a few pounds overweight to begin with…)
The shower thing sounds like a good idea. My sister says its the only way her twins will consent to get clean (without howling like banshees). She takes one into the shower with her, and her hubby takes the other in with him. I’d be worried about dropping them since I hear wet babies are pretty slippery, but they say it isn’t a problem.
Did anyone else here have big problems with swelling? My normally size 6-1/2 feet are now 9-1/2! Toxemia isn’t an issue (they check me religiously and my b.p. is fine), but how long will it take postpartum for the swelling to subside? I guess if that’s my biggest gripe so far I should count my blessings, but they look so awful…
PR
Prairie Rose said:
Yes, a wet (and soapy) baby is pretty slippery. I took one of mine into the shower with me when we were visiting relatives and didn’t have much other choice. I hate to admit it, but I almost dropped him. I will not ever do it again. (He was under a year old at the time.) For a while he hated baths, but we just sat him down in the little bath ring seat and gave him one, through all the yelling and thrashing. Eventually, he just decided he liked 'em (very strange when it happened).
“I don’t believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate
I don’t believe in forever or love as a mystical state
I don’t believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above” – Neil Peart, RUSH, “Ghost of a Chance”
As we embark on our attempt at becoming parents, my husband thought it nessecary to prepare me. To that end, the other night we watched “Dennis the Menace”. (Absolutely hilarious). Why? Because HIS mother had seen it and told me that he was EXACTLY like Dennis when he was a kid…Yikes!
Cute kid story…When my husband was about 4, he was cutting out pictures from a magazine and putting them in an envelope for the mailman, convinced that was the way to “mail order” something. His mother retreived the envelope and tried to explain that it wouldn’t work, and upon opening it found pictures of a motorcycle, a firetruck, a train set and a pretty lady. She asked about the pretty lady, and sure enough little Al replied “I’m sending away for a NEW MOMMY…a NICE one!”. She thought it was funny…I told him if that happened to me I would have cried for a month…at least!
“Were you out on the lake today kissing your brain?”- The Man with Two Brains
PR, regarding your swollen feet, an excerpt from What To Expect When You’re Expecting:
EDEMA (SWELLING) OF THE ANKLES AND FEET
Any degree of edema (swelling due to excessive accumulation of fluids in the tissues) was once considered a potential danger sign in pregnancy. Now doctores recognize that mild edema is related to the normal and necessary increase in body fluids in pregnancy. Some swelling of the ankles and legs, without accompanying symptoms to suggee development of preeclampsia, is considered completely normal. in fact, 75% of women develop such edema at some point in their pregnancies. It’s particularly common late in the day, in warm weather, or after standing or sitting for a period of time. Most women find that much of the swelling disappears overnight–after several hours spent lying down. Generally, edema is nothing but a little uncomfortable. To ease the discomfort, elevate your legs or lie down when you can, preferably on your left side; wear comfortable shoes or slippers; avoid elastic-top socks or stockings…Help your system to flush out waste products by drinking at least eight to ten 8-ounce glasses of liquid a day. Paradoxically, drinking even greater amounts of liquids–up to a gallon a day–helps many women avoid excess water retention…Though it’s no longer believed that salt restriction is wise during a normal pregnancy (salt may be restricted for some women with high blood pressure), excessive salt intake isn’t any smarter and could increase excess fluid retention. If your hands and/or face become puffy, or if edema persists for more than 24 hours at a time, you should notify your doctor.
I had edema BIG & BAD throughout the last half of my pregnancy. It sucks, I know how you feel. Thankfully, your midwife says you’re not toxemic or preeclamptic, so it’s little more than a nuisance and it will go away as soon as Christopher makes his entrance (or rather, his exit :))
Announceth Zette:
Hi all,
My husband and I are just now trying to get pregnant (Pray for me- I’m ovulating!)
Congratulations, and good luck! Trying to get pregnant never worked for anyone I know, we all seemed to get pregnant when finances were in the crapper, or a decision had been made to put any more conception attempts off for another six months. If you are one of the lucky few who can actually conceive a baby on purpose, I admire, respect and worship you. Some tips for upping your chances: Don’t drink, don’t smoke. Eat well and exercise… yeah, yeah, that’s the cruddy part. You already know the good part, which is, of course, constant shagging. (Yes, I adore Austin Powers!)
I wouldn’t advise giving a baby a shower…tried it and yes my daughter was slippery. Then I tried it when she was just walking…bad idea…they can’t balance on a slippery shower floor. I think I finally had success when Sandy was 3 and now she loves taking a shower. It’s great to use one of those waterpik shower heads…the only way I can be sure I get all the shampoo out of her hair.
–Gail
What if the Hokey-Pokey is really what it’s all about?
Chris:Then you should have a better chance of getting pregnant than your husband.
Chris and Zette, besides being financially broke, the best way to get pregnant is to make big plans. Go back to college, work on your masters, home renovation, big trip of a life time, get a new job. All of these have happened to people I know and poof, they became pregnant. If all else fails, move into a trailer park.
Hee hee…I can relate on the “not trying to get pregnant” thing! My husband and I went through a miscarriage last summer, and then a month later found out my sister (unwed at the time) was pregnant with twins. So we decided to postpone the whole baby-trying concept until she had the girls. I figured one pregnant daughter was enough for my mom to deal with! (My sister and the girls’father married soon after they found out, as they were already engaged and planning to try the next year. They just got a jump-start, and are doing wonderfully. Happy healthy twins, and my sister and brother in law are terrific parents!).
So you can imagine my surprise when I found out in November that I was pregnant. I told my sister after I told Ken and joked about “so, how do I tell Mom?”. She was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, since she knew we planned to start our family. She just didn’t think my younger sister would beat me to it.
Had more false labor last night. I’ve stopped getting my hopes up when it happens.
PR
My husband and I are just now trying to get pregnant (Pray for me- I’m ovulating!)
Chris:Then you should have a better chance of getting pregnant than your husband.
Silly Sunbear… although I did get a giggle out of that, it’s not me who’s trying to conceive, it’s Zette!
PR, I happen to have a friend who is a Doula, and when I was having problems with false labour, she said that, in all actuality, it should be considered EARLY labour. Evidently, the time you spend in EL is time you knock off your actual PRODUCTIVE labour. For the edema, she suggests a warm soak in the tub, as deep in as you can get, because the weight from the water on your body will push the fluid back into the muscles where it belongs, also, elevate the foot of your bed about an inch or so, and lie on your left side as often as possible. For both the edema and the early labour, stop using caffiene (soda, coffee, most teas, chocolate), cut sugar as much as you possibly can, drink 64 oz of fluid or more everyday as not enough fluid is likely to be contributing to your early labour. The caffiene and sugar is likely to trigger oxytosin, the hormone that causes contractions (and orgasms, although I’d rather have an orgasm than a contraction), but the baby’s hormone (can’t recall the actual name of which) has to act alongside the oxytosin to trigger progressive contractions and productive labour. Unfortunately, the baby’s hormone can cause you to be in labour, but your oxytosin by itself won’t do anything for the baby’s hormone and thus you have: early labour. She stresses to PUSH FLUIDS for like 48 hours; water, red raspberry leaf tea or most herbal tea, milk, any thing without a lot of sugar (even diet soda is bad) and completely caffeine free. It’s almost over.