Pregnancy & Parenting Stories

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

From what I understand, many of us here are parents. Of course, my 14-month old is smarter, cuter, and more well-behaved than any other baby in the whole world (not that I’m biased or anything) but I thought it would be fun to read about other’s experiences with pregnancy and parenting, maybe just as a window for Prairie Rose to look through and see what she has in store.

I remember that shortly after Bowen was born, I still rubbed my belly absentmindedly, and was quite often shocked when I realized there was no baby in there. :slight_smile: Also, after I started getting bigger, my belly served as a great aid in folding laundry (spread shirt over chest and belly, fold, repeat). After giving birth, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I couldn’t keep the laundry item in question to stay on my body so I could get it folded.

Bowen is over a year now, still in diapers, realizing his full potential and capacity to get into EVERYTHING … one would think that another baby would be the last thing I want. Nope, instead, I’m insanely jealous of all the pregnant women and women with newborns that I encounter.

I’ll ramble later, after I’ve heard some of your stories/memories/anecdotes, etc.

Hugs!! --Chris

2

This is a good idea because I have wandered to other parenting type forums and have found the members there to be silly twits who posess no sense of humor and think that any time a baby cries for more than five seconds, it’s child abuse. Women who have the deer caught in the head light mentality about parentin or women that have no business having children ( we know who you are even if you don’t) and I are ships sinking in the night.

I have come to really respect and know the other posters here and look forward to their opinions…some one stop me…I’m gushing.

Anyways, my son is 13 months old and I still think there was a mix up at the hospital because he is so even tempered, biddable and sweet. (Did I mention smart too? He knows where all his body parts are…which I am sure will help him on the SAT’s in the future.)

I had an easy pregnancy with the only complaint of my feet hurt all the time. The moment he came out and I was settled into my room at the hospital, I couldn’t sit down and I couldn’t figure out why. Then I realized that me feet didn’t hurt for the first time in 9 months. The only thing I miss prepregnancy is the fact that after I finished breastfeeding ( 7months) My once firm, high and perky boobs slid down my chest. I am now smaller than I was, but lower. I now fully understand why the ladies in the National Geographic mag have tits down to their belly…

My only regret is that I didn’t follow my instincts and start trying for another baby at the 5 month mark. Everyone told me to enjoy Carsten as long as I could.

WE are all pilgrims on the same journey - but some pilgrims have better road maps.

3

Yeah I know what you mean about those other parenting type forums. I just thought that this would be sort of cool for sharing funny stories or pregnancy gripes or what have you.

I’m trying to teach Bowen his body parts (eyes, nose, etc.) and colours, but he seems more interested in teething on my finger when I attempt to touch his nose or cheek to point out what/where those things are. He’s got one hell of a bite, too. OW! He is trying to talk, he mimics the positioning of my mouth when I make noises at him or try to get him to say his name. Thus far, though, all we have is Mumum, Dadada, baba(which is bye-bye), and a different way of saying baba which, when said this way, means bottle (or cup, just as long as his milk or water is meant to go in it.) It’s kind of frustrating, but I know he won’t be speaking Bowenese forever, so I guess I’ll just keep trying. Thankfully, we have come to a point where he realizes that bedtime or naptime mean exactly that, and as soon as his door is shut and I’m out of the room, he quiets down and goes to sleep rather than fussing or crying. We’ve never had a problem with him NOT going to bed, or needing a bottle or anything in order to go to sleep, but for a while he was just having too much fun and bedtime, you know, interrupted all that. (Evil wicked horrible witch mommy that I am.)
More later. Anyone else have anything to say?

4

Thanks ChrisCTP and Shirley! It’s always fun to hear about the good stuff ahead (and even the not-so-good)- it keeps me from getting depressed about Christopher not being here yet.

We had a false alarm yesterday and I feel like an idiot for going to the hospital… I thought my bag of waters had sprung a small leak and wanted to get it checked out. No luck. Apparently there is a lot of trickling going on in the last few weeks, nothing to get excited over (I lost my “cork” last week and got somewhat hopeful, too…) Oh well. Didn’t help that my midwife seemed a little irritated about me coming in, saying that I should’ve called first. I DID! If her the answering service doesn’t relay messages, it shouldn’t be considered my fault. Arrgh.

Off to play volleyball (sans diving for the ball)

PR

5

Prairie, don’t worry about feeling like an idiot with going to the hospital or calling your doctor for every little ache and pain. If you are anxious or concerned about something, it is their job to help you. There isn’t a question that the staff hasn’t seen and an emotion they haven’t witnessed. You will find that the nurses at the hospital will be the closest thing to angels you will encounter on this planet. They will be with you every step of the way and help you out. If you find that you have a nurse that you just don’t like, have your hubby get you a new one. (Have him go to the nurses desk and request a switch.) They are use to it.

Also, this is a biggie…you’re doctor will not show up until you start pushing or just moments before. I know, it is a bit of a shock that they don’t greet you at the door of the hospital with a warm hug and a comforting smile, but they just make it in time to play catcher and charge your insurance company. I had them delay my urge to push by three hours because I wanted my doctor there. ( I was given something to slow down the contractions.) Next time, I’ll let a resident or a nurse play catch fer crying out loud.

Another big shock is after all the hoopla of “push push push, you can do it…” and your little bundle comes out is after the umbilical cord is cut they scoop your little grub (sorry but all babies look like grubs at birth) over to an isolette to do the apgar and eye drops and cleaning them up. You are left there, feet in the “stirrups” (its’ the flat foot rests) while the doctor sews you up (95 percent of N. American women do) . EVERYONE, your husband, the nursing staff, and anyone else in attendance for this miraculous event ( 60 minutes, perhaps) will be over at the isolette, making you feel like yesterday’s news with their backs to you while waiting for your little tax exemption to do something spectacular.

BTW, the baby’s first poops, meconium, are sticky and have the consistance of tar. By the time you get out of the hospital, it will be out of their system.

If you need advice or have any questions, Chris and I are more than happy to share our knowledge.

6

I went to the hospital five or six times thinking I was in labour. Five or six times, they sent me home. I was induced two weeks past my due date. At the hospital I used, they had “birthing rooms” which were nice cozy places to have a baby, provided there was no problem. They also had a scary room, loaded with fluorescents and chrome, for the women who needed c-sections or breech babies or whatever. I started off in a birthing room at 7 a.m., becoming increasingly stoned from the combination of Pitosin (inducement aid) and Sta-nol (painkiller)and went from 6 cm. to 10 cm. in one contraction at about 5:10 p.m. They would NOT let me push, they kept trying to get me to stop, but I couldn’t help it, you know, my BODY was pushing. Anyway, back to the point… the doctors were changing shifts, so one was one the way out while the other was on the way up, and my body wouldn’t stop involuntarily pushing. To top it all off, Bowen pooped while he was inside me so I HAD to be moved to the scary room so they could vacuum him out directly after delivery. Of course, I needed to move from the bed to the rolling thing to go from one room to the other which necessitated instructions from the nurses like "OK, settle down, breathe IN (suck) OUT (blow), now ROLL OVER!! (Pardon? I’m in LABOUR here you imbecile!) So anyway, I somehow managed to get on to the roller thing and on to my new super uncomfortable metal bed in the scary room where:
PUSH ONE: Nothing.
PUSH TWO: Baby crowned.
PUSH THREE: We had a head.
PUSH FOUR: We had a baby.

The involutary pushing and subsequent actual delivery caused me to tear, so while I was being sewn up and my mom, husband and the nurses were attending to him I kept myself busy by alternately screaming to the doctor “I can feel that” meaning “Somebody give me more drugs” and shouting things like “Is he ok? Is he cute? What the hell is taking so long?”

Eventually they handed my angelic little piece of cuteness over to me, and he was so quiet and wide-eyed… oh wow, PR, it just can’t be explained… Labouring was a definite pain in the ass (figuratively speaking) but I can’t wait to do it again.

Yup.

7

Maybe we should start our own forum. It’s nice to see Mommies with brains are out there. I have encountered only a few in real life as most parents who name their children after states/indian tribes/trucks usually ingested lead pain as a child.

8

I have no children, but I’ve been thinking about it. Shirley, I’m with you - the astounding masses of idiotic parents have actually made me think twice about whether or not I want kids. I’d love to hear more stories about how one can both have a child, and retain the bulk of one’s IQ points.

I understand parenting can be hard, but is it really necessary to give up one’s life totally in order to raise good children? Seems to me my parents not only raised wonderful kids (!) but managed to have a life as well. Tell me I’m not wrong here, please!

9

There is a quote that I just came across that sums up the whole thing in a nutshell:

Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist. - M. Levine.

In other words, you have to be ready for a lot of practice. Or as I look as it, parenting is a lot like gardening. Just when you think you have your garden perfect, another weed (problem) pops up.

It’s humbling but it is worth it… Athena and Prairie and any other women considering and women on the verge of mommyhood, the best thing you and your hubby can do for yourself and your child is READ everything on parenting. There are a ton of magazines with a ton of opinions of how to raise little Bobby and Betty. One will make sense to you and you can use it as your guide. You will never completely stick to it because children, like dogs, have a way of doing their own thing without consulting you.

Also, listen to other parents. Ask questions. (What was the one thing that threw you for a loop the first couple of months home from the hospital? What is the best part so far about parenting? What is the worst? How do you calm a crying baby? What was one baby item you HAD to have that after the fact you realize it was totally and completely worthless?)

Everyone has a different story and new parents love to give advice. They want to share their trials by fire ( I know I do, but only if I am asked. I’ve bite my tongue off to keep myself from being a “typical” mom with horror stories.) Store this advice from friends, relatives and , this the best place to get it, the ladies in front and behind you at the check out with a cart load of kids, in the file cabinet in the back of your mind. Some of it you will use one day, some of it you won’t , but yo may share it with a friend one day. Either way, you will be prepared which is more than most mothers seem to be these days.

Also, if you can afford it, stay home with your child/ren for as long as you can. I’ve seen day care kids and I’ve seen stay at home kids. I can tell a difference hands down. Day Care Kids are more hyper and more…well…brutish… How can two or three Day Care Providers ( GAWD, I hate that term, why not call them Day Mommies?) effective police 10-15 children all day. It would be like keeping track of a bunch of puppies. Sure, Day Care kids get the interaction with other children, they also get more earaches and visits to the doctors.

I am very biased on this subject and I do know that some people cannot afford to give up an income to live. I gave up my job and have no regrets. Now all I wonder is what in the hell I did with my income for four years before having a child? I musta had some fun pissing it away. We don’t have the extra cash, but our bills are getting paid and the spending is only on groceries pretty much.

I would expound further on this, but my loving child is issuing his nightly protest over the lack luster service in this here establishment. (its bed time…whooo hooo)

10

As far as not seeing the doctor until the actual pushing stage goes, hopefully I won’t see a doctor at all (unless something goes wrong). UNMC patients that are “low-risk” have the option of using the nurse-midwives for prenatal care and delivery. They DO meet you at the hospital and stay with you the whole time. My friends that have had OBs and the midwives say that the midwives win hands down if you want an unmedicated labor.

I’ve been reading a TON of books on pregnancy, birth, and child care. And having a mom and aunt who are OB nurses themselves helps greatly (they will be with us during the event).

I agree with the earlier post about child care. Unfortunately, I need to go back to work. But I have a family friend (with a 1 year old son) that will be his caretaker while hubby and I are at work and I’m confident that Christopher will be loved and well cared for. Maybe we can rework things so I can stay home- but it won’t be right now. :frowning:

I’m worried that I’m going to somehow screw things up. My mom tells me this is normal thinking for right now and that I know more than I think. I’ve had nightmares about giving him his first bath in that baby tub.

PR

11

I see it’s mostly women and parenting being discussed.We males have to do some work too.For instance, you have to train yourself to sleep through that baby’s crying.Took several weeks to learn.

12

Very cute, Sunbear. My husband is an expert at sleeping through everything, if you need any tips, ask Neobican.

I applaud some daycares, like Montessori and the others that are actually learning environments, rather than kiddie kennels, and I really feel the pull between working and staying home. Fortunately, our schedules are such that we don’t need to use a daycare, but if we ever did, I’d rather use one of those, or even better, employ someone to watch Bowen in our house, where he’s familiar with everything, at least till he’s a little older and can TELL me what sorts of things happen at a daycare. (i.e., are the teachers nice or do they yell a lot, how do they punish him when he acts up, etc.)

PR: Don’t worry about bath time, just know that you don’t need much water at all (about an inch) and it doesn’t need to be any hotter than lukewarm.

Athena, I think that parenting has boosted my IQ. I now know all the words to the theme songs for Teletubbies, Theodore Tugboat, Puzzle Place, and Kratz’ Creatures. In addition, I discovered early on that laying in the middle of the living room floor, staring at the ceiling is extremely therapeutic, and once Bowen started walking, I was educated in all sorts of things like: the length of screaming is directly related to the intensity of the situation that caused it. For instance, the length of the “silent scream” before the actual vocal scream is longer (and the vocal louder) when the child crashes face first into the coffee table, than it is when he takes a tumble down the stairs. And remember “things in motion tend to stay in motion” and “things at rest tend to stay at rest”? A coffee table incident is a good reminder that things in motion come to a sudden stop when confronted by things at rest. So you see, parenting has been a revisited education in music, philosophy, and science.

Shirley, how do you suggest going about starting our own forum for this sort of thing? Do you mean outside of SD, or within it as a category?

I’m really loving this thread. I’m so glad I thought of it!

Hugs!
Chris

13

Sunbear…hah hah hah. You and my hubby took the same Daddy Classes. I’ve trained him, however, to wake up after the first good hard shove to the rump and tend the wailing Prince in the other room.

14

All kidding aside, we’ve come a long way. I spend most of my spare time somewhere near the kids. When I was a kid, I think my dad spent probably two hours a weekend actually doing anything with the family, the rest of the time he was golfing or bowling.

15

Hi all,
My husband and I are just now trying to get pregnant (Pray for me- I’m ovulating!) I appreciate any and all pregnancy/parenting advice. (Except horror stories…I don’t think anyone needs those). Hopefully I’ll be posting some “good news” on here soon!

16

sunbear said:

Ha!

My wife is an incredibly sound sleeper. As the birth of our first neared, everybody told her, “Oh, you’ll wake up as soon as the baby cries.” Never happened.

For our first, I always had to wake her to go feed him. Then, when we switched to formula, it wasn’t worth the effort to get her out of bed and I took almost every night feeding. For the second, we tried taking turns, but half the time it was again more effort to get her moving than it was for me to just do it myself.

Thankfully, we’re now into the “sleeps through the night” phase and there’s no more of that. But when the first gets up (in the middle of the night for some reason or in the morning), he doesn’t even bother to try to wake my wife. He just comes on over to my side of the bed, because he knows I’ll get up and she won’t.

“I don’t believe in destiny or the guiding hand of fate
I don’t believe in forever or love as a mystical state
I don’t believe in the stars or the planets
Or angels watching from above” – Neil Peart, RUSH, “Ghost of a Chance”

17

This is a bad parenting story! Warning- don’t keep reading if bad parenting upsets you-

TAMPA, Fla. (APBNews.com) – A manhunt continued today for a cross-dressing kidnapper who grabbed an 8-year-old girl by the neck and pulled her, kicking and screaming, from her mother’s parked vehicle outside of a Tampa health food store.

The girl was released about an hour later several miles away and taken by police to Tampa General Hospital, where an exam confirmed that she had been molested.

The girl’s mother had left the youngster locked inside the family’s Toyota 4-Runner along with her 20-month-old brother. The engine was left running so that the air conditioning could cool the vehicle while she shopped inside the Nature’s Harvest Market in the city center about 4:45 p.m. Saturday.
<<snip>>

The witness immediately called police, who arrived before the mother emerged from the store.

The mother will not be charged with leaving her children alone in the parked car, police said.

The mother, tears streaming down her face, held an impromptu news conference later, thanking police and warning parents to “always take your children inside a store with you, even if you are only going in for a minute. I couldn’t have gone on with my life if this had turned out differently.”

Wow- I live in a nice, friendly small town and people STILL don’t leave their kids in their cars unattended…what are your thoughts about this? I thought it was strange that the police arrived and the mother still had not even come out of the store yet…

18

Chris, since I am technologically impaired, it would have to be within SD for right now. If anyone knows the how-to stuff for morons like me to set up a website and maintain it, I will greatly appreciate all info.

Prairie, you sound like you are waaaay ahead of the game with having family in the OB world and reading the books! You will do great!

Oh, BTW, just because I am a stay at home mom…I hate that term. Please, refer to me as a domestic tyrant… doesn’t mean I have a spotless house, four course meals and a Martha Stewart inpired decorating scheme. My house is spotted, courtesy of the dog during her puppy days; the husband and tar on his work boots; me, for infractions to numerous to mention; and the baby and his amazing regurgiation ways.

The rule for meal time is: If you are hungry, you better fix yourself something or starve. If I could only get the baby to eat kibbles and bites, it would shave a ton in yogurt and cheese not only off the budget but the walls.

And as for Martha Stewart, she needs to be catapulted onto some sharp spears.

19

Shirley, check out www.boardhost.com. They have message boards you can set up and use.

20

For all of you preggos out there who are tired of hearing those “I was in labor for 47 hours!” stories, I have an anti-horror story.

When my wife was pregnant with our first child, I was working approximately 50 miles (75 minutes) from home. It was two weeks before the due date, we hadn’t finnished LaMas (sp?) yet, and a couple of days before, the doctor had told my wife to stop working. I go into work as usual. About 9:30, Sharon calls. She’s been feeling pains, but can’t get ahold of the doctor yet. We decide that we’ll wait until the doctor calls her back. He finally gets back to her about 10:15, says, yes, it is labor and he was kind of expecting it (I wish he would have told us it could be any day!). Doctor says it should be 6-8 hours, so sit back, relax, and enjoy it (his words!), and don’t worry until the contractions are 5 minutes apart. The wife calls me back. I reach into the closet, grab a black trench coat, and left. Was half way to my car before I realized it was the wrong damn coat. Went back, got my coat. Took off.

It took me less than 45 minutes to get home. It’s now 11:45. I get home, Sharon is lying on the bed in a fetal position. Contractions are 5 minutes apart. I call the hospital and tell them we’re leaving.

It’s half an hour to get to the hospital. I’m flying low to the ground. We turn on the final road to the hospital (2 miles left). Sharon screams “I WANT TO PUSH!” I scream right back “YOU’RE NOT GOING TO PUSH!” There is a center turn-lane in the road. That became my lane. Trafic lights became yield signs. We get to the hospital at 12:15. Shar is rushed upstairs. The nurse says she’s 8 centimeters dialated. The nurse lied. She was fully dialated, ready to go. The nurse wouldn’t let her push until the doctor got there. When we called the hospital, they got ahold of him. He was eating lunch at his country club. The nurse hear his voice in the hallway, and says “OK, next contraction, push!”. 12:46, Alex was born. 3 1/2 hours, start to finish. People ask me if I was there, I say that Sharon almost wasn’t there.

By the way, we are expecting our third now. Doctor says Friday is Shar’s last day at work.

“It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.”
Dan Quayle