I don’t mind the occasional shower with a partner, but it used to drive me nuts that my ex always wanted to watch me in the shower (or, TMI, wanted to jerk off while watching me in the shower). Seriously creepy, and yeah, sometimes/most times it’s just nice to have shower time to decompress and wash away the day’s troubles.
Mr Boods and I don’t intrude on each other’s bathroom time at all.
Needless to say, if that’s your preference, then that’s the way it should be for you. But what’s creepy about a SO watching you shower, or even being sufficiently inspired by the view to jack off to it? In the words of Deborah Harry,
I will give you my finest hour,
the one I spent watching you shower…
Sounds like fun to me.
How do you now that there is “the absence of real threat” in any given situation? I don’t think fear is even the right word. We were talking about feeling vulnerable. That’s not “maladaptive” at all.
Neither of us EVER, EVER, EVER walks in the bathroom while the other is using it.
Your simple request for privacy for that 15 (or God Forbid 30!!!) minutes alone each week is completely reasonable and he needs to respect it.
I second the poster above who said get a hook - if there is some type of emergency, it’s easily disabled. If there isn’t an emergency, maybe it will help get the point through his thick skull.
Really? Is this a real question? You’re joking, right?
Yep, my family, too. We left each other alone for showers and toilet time. I thought this was standard, but my SO just goes and takes a shower and I wind up standing in the hallway needing to pee! Wish he’d told me. If I knock on the door and ask if he’ll be much longer, I have to pee, he tells me to just come in and do it! :o Um, no thanks, I’ll wait. 
It’s harder for women to pee in the yard, but I don’t care if he does!
I enjoy the warm and cozy bathroom, and the good soap smell, and opening the door does ruin that. But it’s more about the alone time. If I have a small request to be alone for 15 minutes, and I want to do that in the bathroom, and I announce this intention, why can’t I?!
DummyGladHands, maybe you could explain to your BF that this is the at home, DIY equivalent of a “spa day” ? Instead of spending hundreds of dollars (and a couple hours a week) getting someone to wax your legs, exfoliate your skin, give you a deep conditioning treatment, and a pedicure, you choose to do it yourself, and save the time and money. 15 minutes of privacy is not too much to ask, and I feel that is the issue, but if he won’t respect your privacy, maybe he’d respect your thriftiness! :dubious:
Seriously, how do you get all that done in 15 minutes? You must skip something every now and then! Pedicure alternates with deep conditioning treatment?
I can relate to the OP, but not for concern for privacy. Simply not a fan of hearing other people’s bodily functions.
It seems like the issue has become a power struggle. The OP feels like her wishes are being disrespected and her bf probably feels like it’s not fair he can’t pee when he wants to.
My main suggestion to the OP is to stop asking him whether he needs to pee beforehand and just shower when she wants to. You’re making him associate peeing with you showering when you do this, so now there’s a Pavlovian dynamic going on.
You should also ask yourself if there’s something deeper going on. On the surface this shower situation sounds really minor, but if he has a habit of disregarding your boundaries it probably shows up elsewhere and that’s the real source of your tension. If he doesn’t have this habit, perhaps this quirk of his will pass with time.