So feeling insecure is “maladaptive, dysfunctional”? I totally disagree with this. Feeling vulnerable or whatever can keep you alive in certain circumstances, so it seems pretty much the opposite of “maladaptive”. And Pedro, if you really don’t manage your bathroom habits on a schedule how do you ever go to a sporting event or concert or movie and see the whole thing? Or a meeting at work, for example? Surely if one cannot wait until a break at work or a game or even a tv show, then a visit to the urologist would seem to be in order. But I guess if you don’t give a rats ass what your supposed “beloved” would like then do what you want. I’m glad I don’t live with you.
I strongly disagree that it’s dysfunctional to feel this way. When someone is naked and in a small space, it’s not dysfunctional to feel uneasy when someone else is there. Perhaps you can argue that, from a theoretical standpoint, we should all be fine being totally naked in public, but that’s not the society we live in or were raised in. I see nothing dysfunctional or maladaptive about wanting to be alone while in the shower.
However, I can understand that in barbarian society nudity may be normal, so I can understand why you feel this way 
I agree to many things that aren’t meaningful to me. That is called “being in a relationship.”
I don’t think that’s happening so there’s no need to get angry at me.
Yes, sometimes a little bit of forethought is required for bathroom breaks. It doesn’t involve much scheduling. I don’t care to argue the point at length.
I also like alone time in the bathroom. But I can recognize the difference between a pressing need and coming in for a chat. It’s not just my needs that count.
How is your bathroom layout? What if, when he comes in, you point the shower head at him?
People say it works with cats.
Me too. It’s a reasonable request, and it should be honored without an argument. Some things really don’t need more justification than “I would really prefer X.”
And the whole bladder-issues business doesn’t fly with me. The guy should (a) take the hint and use the bathroom right before the OP’s shower, and (b) if he can’t hold out for 15 minutes after that, he should partly fill a deep bottle or jug with cat litter, and pee into it as needed.
First thing I go each morning is let the dogs out into the yard to pee. I would say I indulge with them a solid 75% of the time. 
Well, Pedro, this is what you said:
So now you say “this is not what’s happening.” I don’t know what is not happening but it really does sound like you don’t care what she wants, as you say “whatever”. Not a lot of concern for what someone you supposedly care about wants.
Probably not happening was me and you living together. It was just a joke.
Earlier I was giving my imagined inner monologue to Honey’s question. I would try to accomodate any requests for privacy but “giving an ear full” for 2 minutes of sharing the same space sounds a bit precious to me.
Fortunately I don’t have to deal with this problem in my house as we have separate bathrooms.
Nope. That’s just really poor reading. Feeling vulnerable and threatened by a loved one being nearby is maladaptive and dysfunctional.
Under circumstances of threat it is adaptive. Under circumstances where there is no threat it is an element of an anxiety disorder.
If you feel vulnerable and threatened by being in proximity to a loved one, you either need to get out of that relationship or figure out why you feel vulnerable and threatened in the absence of threat.
It has nothing to do with feeling like everyone should be naked. That’s a weird interpretation.
From my friends who are survivors of past abuse, feelings of vulnerability/fear/anxiety in certain otherwise innocuous situations are not unusual. I’m not saying that is the case with the OP, but someone with severe mistreatment in their past may have anxiety issues that, while not rational in the present context, are nonetheless very real. Just throwing that out as a scenario where such feelings aren’t entirely baseless even in a relationship where no mistreatment has occurred.
The OP didn’t claim anxiety. The OP likes a little bit of private time. filmore insinuated anxiety and claimed this was a remnant of a “primitive” brain.
People who experience trauma sometimes have lasting sequelae, such as hyperarousal and hypervigilance. This is understandable. It is also maladaptive and dysfunctional, as they would be the first to tell you.
Agreed. One of the house rules in Casa GrumpyBunny is “Do not try to talk to me when the bathroom door is closed unless the house is on fire or our home is being invaded by angry insurgents.”
Humans are pretty good, but the damn cats just won’t leave me alone!
Not only do I want my privacy during any bathroom activity, I don’t really care to be in the room with someone while they’re using the toilet. If it’s an occasional emergency, I can excuse it but as a regular thing? I’d definitely be locking the door and having a talk about personal space.
After hearing this, he waits, waits, waits… now, now that she’s washing her hair, he sneaks out to the water heater and grabs ahold of that valve labeled “hot water to house” and switches it to the “off” position.
He waits, there it is, a “honey help” coming from the bathroom…he’d like to help her but he’s not allowed in the bathroom during her private time.
Nice misogyny there. Thanks for sharing.
I nearly always agree with you, but, here, alas, I think I must differ.
A desire for privacy, even from a person’s closest loved ones and family, isn’t an anxiety disorder, just a position along the great spectrum of personality characteristics.
It could be a disorder if it were so strongly developed that it led to disturbances. i.e., if somebody saw them naked, and they curled up into a ball in total panic, or screamed, or flamed out with a knife and started slashing.
But, “Please, I’d rather not be on display, thank you,” is not a disorder. It’s just a personal preference. It’s just called “being shy” and courteous people will respect it.
Experiencing fear in the absence of real threat provides a person with no benefit. That is simply indisputable. It does lead to cognitive distortions and poor decision making, maladaptive behavior, and when experienced chronically, deterioration of physical health. Going through life with elevated stress due to needless fear is bad for you. How is this even a question?
Well, it’s a good thing I never said that. On the other hand, I have no idea why you’re saying this in response to what I actually wrote.