Problems with my roommate (long).

[Nocturne]

This is not a rant. I just don’t know what to do about my roommate anymore.

Everything started off fine. I knew we weren’t going to best friends simply because we’re so different, but we get along well despite our differences.

She is now driving me crazy.

She constantly wakes me up–she comes in late a lot, waking me up after I go to sleep (and I don’t go to sleep early by any means). She also gets up earlier than I do and bangs around the room, laughs and talks loudly with our suitemates in the bathroom, and in general is a bull in a china shop.

In fact, the other morning I was awakened by a startlingly loud noise that didn’t stop. I got up, opened the door, only to see my roommate STANDING IN THE HALL drying her hair instead of in the BATHROOM with the DOOR CLOSED like usual.

“What are you doing?” I said sleepily.
“It’s too hot in the bathroom after I take a shower,” she said. “I have to do it out here.”

I staggered back to bed and tried to sleep, but it wasn’t coming back.

She also keeps the suite unbearably cold. It was fine at first and it’s all right now, because it got warm again, but even when the temperature outside was chilly, she kept it on the lowest setting possible and the air on high. Even when I turned the air off, she turned it back on later and froze me out.

And this is perhaps the most unsettling and nerve-wracking thing of all: ever since she broke up with her boyfriend of two years, she’s been a basketcase. Unfortunately, he lives in our dorm, so she has to see him every day. I come in a lot of days and she just sits there and cries. I try to console her and she pushes me away. She yells at him over the phone, she yells at her mom over the phone, I have to leave the suite to do my work and for my own mental health. She goes into the bathroom and sobs and vomits for a long time, not letting anyone come close to her. Then she stays gone and when her mom calls, I don’t know where she is.

My first semester of college is hard enough for me without having a roommate who has suddenly decided that her life sucks and makes everyone else’s life Suckville as well.

I try to avoid her and we don’t really talk anymore. I really don’t know how to address the issue. What do I do?

[Bossk]

Don’t worry. It’ll only get better. Just wait til she brings a man (or woman) home for a revenge bang and proceeds to have noisy, noisy sex. Believe me, after that you’ll be praying for death.

Single living, baby. Look into it. It’s a dream come true.

[Sweet_Sota_Girl]

Nocturne, I can empathize with your situation. I’ve been in a similar one.

About 7 years ago I had a roommate who I swear was a cleptomaniac.

She started out by eating tons of my food, then denying it. It got to the point that I was counting slices of cheese and Oscar Mayer bologna to “prove” it.

Then she started stealing my socks. I’d catch her wearing a pair (they weren’t just your plain boring Target brand socks) and she’d still deny it.

The final straw was when she stole my underwear. No, I didn’t catch her wearing them… lol. The kicker to this part is that I wore a size 5/6 loosely and she squeezed herself into a size 16!

I promptly got a key lock for my bedroom door until I could find a new place, ALONE.

So, as Bossk suggested, single living my friend.

[Serendipity]

Some things – like her being loud while you’re trying to sleep and keeping the temperature at Arctic levels – probably aren’t going to change unless you say something to her. (Even then, it may not get better, but I’m trying to be optimistic.) Have you told her that you’d like the room a little warmer, or have you just been inching the temperature setting up? Have you let her know that she’s been waking you up in the middle of the night? Don’t suffer in silence. Maybe you could have a suite-meeting and set down some ground rules about life in the suite. (ie, try to be considerate towards the people you’re sharing a living space with.)

As for her being a basketcase… Is your RA someone you could go to? You’re right, you shouldn’t have to spend your freshman year trying to take care of this girl, especially if it’s affecting your own mental health. RAs are usually trained to deal with this sort of thing and can refer students to university health/counseling, campus ministry, or whatever.

I hope everything works our for the best, Nocturne.

[slortar]

Single-living. I agree. DEFINITELY worth the extra overhead. Even though I’ve had some great roommates, they’re definitely outweighed by the psychotic freaks I occasionally got saddled with. However, since you’re in a dorm, you’re probably stuck with her for a while. You could always trade off with somebody else–I seem to recall that happening more than once when I was in college. Assuming you can find someone gullible enough to trade with you.

[Caricci]

Do involve Residence staff. You shouldn’t have to put up with this and that’s what they’re paid for.