Used to be I considered a person who could hold his own against the entire social world a force to be reckoned with. And I still do to an extent. Only now do I realize that possessing the skills to communicate with others is a great strength in itself. It allows for a huge, free flow of support, care, information, and a greater frame of reference; all of which are very useful no matter where you live. A lone wolf can easily be trampled by cattle. The words of a live, flesh and blood human are not just a different brand of information that you could just as well find in a newspaper…but don’t ask me what more there is to the former. I’m still trying to work it all out.
Considering a person makes the best out of both lifestyles, what are the pros and cons of both, and what do the lifestyles entail? From your experiences, when do they clash to create conflicts?
[Disclaimer: These are all based on observations, very little of it is to be taken as fact.]
Independent
Pros
Of the more introverted people I’ve met, all have possesed a remarkably black and twisted sense of humor. Being detatched from people, I’d imagine they see things more objectivly and don’t have any emotions to get in the way of appreciating what may be some fine, blunt irony. Personally, I try to make the best of things, and where that end and being a sadist ends, I don’t know. I’ve laughed at the terrible misfortunes of others (never in a way that would further their pain, and never in front of these people), but I would never cause it. I would even work towards preventing it given the chance. This might be a product of spending the last two decades of my life alone for the most part, or just being young and immature as far as this matter is concered.
Lacking a frame of reference is a major double edged sword. I wouldn’t be 1/2 the man I am now had I listened to other people about how things “should be done”, or usually are. In going on the Atkins diet, I recieved more encouragment to stop dieting or to see a doctor I couldn’t afford before continuing than I did enouragment to keep it up, or suggestions on how else to do it. I lost 40-60 pounds on that diet. I’ve learned more about writing and story telling using my own means of research and studying than I have in my college classes. Most people use the limits and standards of other people for the excuses of thier own shortcomings. Raised in the right circumstances, a independant person might not give themselve this right. Whether this is exclusive to a particular kind of loner or is shared among those more social, I leave open to conversation.
Being wholly self sustaining gives a person a lot of pride, esspecialy if this is done with grace. A competent, upstanding individual with no strings attatched can go very far in any direction he chooses.
Increased discipline. If you’re relying on yourself, no one else is ever going to be there to make sure you fix the outside of the house, keep in shape, or learn that new crucial skill. You’re keeping the tabs on everything.
More time to contemplate the big questions, or even the small ones. Introspection can lead to revelations, increased creativity, and an overall sense of zen.
Cons
No safety nets here. If you’ve distanced yourself from what little people you know, you better remember to carry a book with you when your car breaks down. Learn to enjoy walking, waiting rooms, and either take special care of your credit or appeal to the better nature of your loan shark.
Prone to turning socially inept. Ever lock yourself in your room for a month, only coming out for work and food? Try to start a conversation after that and see what comes out of your mouth. It’s hard to say anything or relate to anyone when your life is a virtual blank slate.
Any given loner is soon to be a sociopathic homicidal madman! Or at least according to my Psychology textbooks. No, I don’t have any statistics to back this up with, but damnit if both of my textbooks don’t try to make being anitsocial itself a disease of sorts. I suppose it’s normal for a solitary person come in time to distain parties…
Conflicts
Someone left alone is bound to cultivate an appreciation for silence. People in groups tend to break this.
A loner might be perpetually unsure of when s/he is being rejected or rightfully ignored for not introducing him/her self. This can create a sense of not wanting to be reeled in by a group, but feeling resentful when said group doesn’t even make the effort. somehow, I feel this happening to myself, and the feelings are the strongest when said party is having a good time. It makes me unable to concentrate on anything.
Social Lifestyle
Pros
People care for each other! To be embraced by a group of loving friends and family is a wonderful thing no matter how you look at it. Unfortunately the chances of falling into these favovorable positions is left up to luck and circumstances all too often, but those with even a single friend are more likely to find themselves with a family than the guy home alone.
Often feels more confident surrounded by people. This can entail increased productivity, and others around you feeling more comfortable.
Proven to be healthier and live longer.
I’ll leave this area short due to ignorance.
Cons
A person dependant on other people may find themselves thriving on feedback from other people more than they should. People often get stuck in the rut of constantly rebounding even the most trivial thoughts off of each other on their cell phones the second their given a break from work, school, and kids. Without giving themselves the time for introspection, they stand a chance of going with the flow, even if it’s going off a waterfall.
As said before, can become seriously restrained due to observances and acceptance of the status quo, how things are usually done, norms, etc.
Looking for personal experiences and more observations here…out with the opinions people!
