Proselytizers: Go get a life

The BBQ Pit
1

and leave me the fuck alone.

Just because I’m on the sidewalk, working contently in the autumn afternoon sun, does not make me your sitting duck.

You come up to me and strike up a conversation, like you’re honestly interested in what I’m doing. In an effort to be more social and friendly, not so introverted and quiet, I grab your bait. I tell you what I’m making, what kinds of materials I use, why I’m giving my art away. You ask where I’m from and when I tell you, you’re bowled over because you have family there! Isn’t that, like, crazy! Why yes. Yes, it is.

Then out of the blue, you ask me if I’ve always been a spiritual person.

Uh-oh, I think to myself. You’re another one of those proselytizy-preachy people. Except you don’t have the armful of tracts that such people usually have when they come to me. And you’re not old. Maybe you’re just curious and unusually forward? So I tell you, with a laugh, that I’m not spiritual. I’m agnostic.

“Oh, agnostics are my favorite people to talk to!” you say.

Oh shit, I think to myself. You ARE one of them.

You start talking to me about your God Mother, Mother of God brand of Christianity. You whip out a Bible to show me that God is both male and female, as if this is suddenly supposed to make me un-agnostic. I tell you to not bother, I’m not interested in finding any “truths” in the Bible today. But this doesn’t stop you and your friends. All of ya’ll start whippin’ out your books from invisible bookbags I didn’t notice before! You like a challenge, I guess.

“Did you know that science is supported by the Bible?” you ask.

I tell you how I feel about trying to support your faith with science, as pointedly as I can. You should have wavered just a little when I tell you that I’m not only a scientist, but I have had a solid religious background, including Bible study. But no. You start talking about how the Book of Job contains references to geophysics. So eager you are to point to me about the verse about “fire” in the center of the Earth. See? you say. The Bible mentions geophysics before humans even knew about that kind of stuff!

When I blow up in anger at you idiots for wasting my time, blocking out the beautiful sun, and not leaving me alone after I politely asked you to, you use my anger as proof that I’m “wrong with God” and wouldn’t be so angry if I just Believed.

I would tell you to go sell your shit somewhere else, but I wouldn’t wish you on anyone else. You really think you’re going to win people over by looking like idiots in front of them? Really? Did you think you were going to win me over by confessing you reject mainstream Christianity because it goes against the Bible for worshiping on Sunday instead of Saturday? After I just told you that I’m agnostic because I’m don’t have enough experience with a spiritual universe to be dogmatic about it? You really don’t know how to listen to people, do you? And when I asked you if you thought that Sunday worship was an offense worthy of hell and you said yes, did you really think that would make me jump up for joy and say, “Hey, you chicks DO make sense! Where do I sign up for some of this Mother of God religion?”

I didn’t want to ask you any questions because I didn’t really want to hear the insanity coming out of your mouth. But you wouldn’t leave me the fuck alone. I paid the city for the privilege of sitting on the sidewalk and being in the presence of people. If I had known harrassment was going to be part of the deal, I wouldn’t have signed up.

I know you’re young. Looked fresh out of high school, poor things. So I didn’t bare all of my teeth and cuss you out as much as I wanted to. But don’t praise God. He–oops, I mean she–didn’t have anything to do with my mercy. No, just be grateful that I was in a good mood before you showed up. And I was in a good mood. Now I’m in a kill-all-the-Christians mood. Thanks. And thanks for crowding around my table so no one could look at my artwork and maybe take something home. That really makes me like you.

At least I have another week to prepare for the next reincarnation of you that I will encounter next week. And unfortunately I most certainly will, as I have continually over the past year. How I wish you all would just get on a rocket and fly off to be closer to your maker. You give Christianity a bad name and do nothing but perpetuate the believe that religion is full of nutjobs.

2

Preach it!

:wink:

3

You should change the subject and start politely asking questions about anal sex, bdsm, and bukkake, and what role those activities play in their religion.

4

Top tier post. Haven’t seen too many of those people 'round here; Germany is pretty non-spiritual. :smiley:

5

You seem angry. Have you considered Jesus?

6

They’re trying. They want yours.

You say they just want to change your life to be like theirs? Of course. That way they feel less bad about their own.

7

That’s tame. OP you should go straight to the Donkey Punches, Blumpkins/Cunnilumpkins, and Cleveland Steamers.

Just out of curiousity, what kind of crafts were you doing?

8

Stuff like this.

It does give me some comfort that as I blew up at them for the second time and finally scared them off, I yelled at them they’d be wise to think twice about talking to random strangers on the street again. Their faces were priceless.

9

At least you didn’t throw a vase at them! :slight_smile:

Those are nice, btw. No sure how you can make the small ones and sell them for $5…

10

Wow, I like your art. So do you make and sell it outside? Where? Outside your shop/ studio, In an arts district, a downtown, just in front of your house?
That’s awesome, I wish we had stuff like that around here.
So does this mean you will not be making religious artifacts and stained glass window pictures for churches? :slight_smile:
Oh, and yeah, fuck those people.

11

Unless of course you made a stained glass window depicting some religious scene and hiding some sort of secret ‘fuck this’ type message / Easter egg that (hopefully) wouldn’t be found for a long time while it is on display at the church.
But that’s probably way more trouble than it’s worth and would involve a lot of time and effort, going out if your way to be vindictive, for something only you would likely ever understand or appreciate. Still…

12

I’m a sidewalk vendor. I set up a table of stuff and work beside it so people can see the process.

I have had people request religious stuff. I just point them to the website and tell them that’s all I do.

I’m not anti-religion. I actually told the Crazy for Christ Crew that I’m open to spiritual experiences. I just haven’t had any. I don’t believe faith can be developed any other way. So all that waving the Bible in my face…it drives me further away, not closer. But it’s like they didn’t care at all. It’s like they wanted me to yell at them so that they could feel victorious in their goodness and righteousness. I guess I only gave them what they wanted, but boy did it feel good!

Oh, and thanks for the compliments! I do try. :slight_smile:

13

Your containers really are very pretty.

But you know what else is pretty? The sacrifice made by Jesus-Jocelyn Christ our Lord-Lady Almighty, son-daughter of Mark-Mary, that your sins could be forgiven. Did you know science supports the sinfulness of worshipping on Sunday?

14

Just get his personal address, then send in anon tips to the authorities regarding child abuse and terrorism.

15

Tsk. And after the Woman-Jesus gave you such a wonderful talent.

16

That’s cool about the side walk vending. What city is that in?
Yeah I’m not very spiritual or religious either, but likewise I am not anti religious.
I never understood what people meant by saying they feel “spiritual”, even sometimes ‘spiritual but not religious.’
I’ve never felt “spiritual”, that I’m aware of at least. I’ve gotten incredibly lucky by not dying in situations where most people would have. Even then, I’m not sure I felt “spiritual” about it.
A few of the religious people I know are in the habit of attributing everything to God and just writing it off as impossible to understand. Is that what they call spiritual? That doesn’t really strike me as spiritual. Those people were just intellectually lazy, possibly stupid. This is just referring to people like the one that said “you can’t explain that. That’s one of god’s mysteries. That’s like trying to explain how an airplane flies!”.
That’s something entirely unrelated to them being religious. They are just stupid people who are also religious. The smartest person I have ever met or encountered was a former catholic priest and a student of all religions. I know a lot of people I consider to be very smart to be religious, so I don’t want to seem to be saying that believing in religion automatically makes one stupid. Not at all, for me at least.
I may not believe it, but I always remind myself that there have been thousands of years of people much smarter than I who have faith, so it doesn’t correlate.

17

I’ve been told I can be very literal minded. Maybe that’s why I’m not spiritual. Maybe it’s because I tend to approach life based on analysis of the facts. Maybe it’s because I’m 27 with no wife or kids.

18

I don’t know if “literal minded” is a barrier to believing. These gals seemed very literal, as in “The Bible didn’t say it so it can’t be true!”

You may be like me, however. I don’t have to see it to believe it, but it does have to make sense. And even if it doesn’t make perfect sense, I’m more willing to listen to someone who admits asmuch than someone who tells me it does if I’d just read the Book of Job!

19

Some people exist solely for the relief of making them go away.

The glass work looks really cool!

20

As a longtime Christian, I’m sad to say that I’ve participated in things like that in the past (in my youth) and I apologize. You were right to be annoyed. “Cold evangelism” is rarely effective and usually has the opposite of the intended effect, i.e. driving people further away from religion.

If someone I have some kind of relationship with asks me questions about my faith I’m more than happy to talk to them about it. But accosting strangers (especially manipulating the conversation to give yourself an opening) is insincere and insulting.