Provide a punchline for this fake joke

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Recently I saw a rerun of a How I Met Your Mother episode, in which Barney tells Lily a joke that is so dirty, vile, and offensive that Lily refuses to hang out with the gang for several weeks (a contrived explanation for Alyson Hannigan’s maternity leave, but I digress).

We the viewers never get to hear the punchline. It’s possible the writers had one in mind, but I think more likely they wanted to leave it to our imaginations.

The joke begins thusly: * “What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam?”*

So how does it end?

2

What goes down the chimney up and up the chimney down? Santa Claus [sub] … old Laurel and Hardy joke[/sub]

3

Maybe jelly can be used as an anal sexual lubricant, but peanut butter just binds up the shit. Something like that.

4

One sticks to the roof of your mouth, and the other… I’d love to pull out one of your eyeballs and fuck the socket.

5

It’s not a fake joke at all. It’s just not a particularly good one.

I can’t even bring myself to spoiler the punch line. But a quick google on the setup (or a search of the archives here) should bring enlightenment to you,

6

I don’t like referring people to Google, as I assume people who know how to use it properly have already done so before asking a question.

Here’s a link to an article about the show in question, including the answer to the joke:

7

I can’t peanut butter my dick up your ass.

8

Aw heck, I’ll post it.

I can’t peanut butter my dick up your mom’s ass!

I’m pretty sure I’ve seen that joke on this board before.

9

Well that was quick. So what’s the punchline to this fake joke?:

How is a cook’s brain-pan like an overwound clock?

10

OK, you’ve successfully filled me with shame and embarrassment for not Googling first.

I jumped to a conclusion, thinking it would have been more clever of them to create a fake setup with no known punchline.
And ass-u-me-ing this to be the case, I turned to the Dopers in the hope of providing a few laughs on a dull Wednesday.

Ah well. Never mind.

11

(FWIW, though, I thought the actual punchline was pretty funny, in a perversely absurdist way.:))

12

“Poe wrote on both.”

13

I think a call to Mythbusters is in order.

14

Oh, what the hell, I’ve already proven myself to be dense once on this thread… Can anyone explain this?

I did Google it this time, and I found this:
What will go up the chimney down but will not go down the chimney up?
An Umbrella.

But nothing about Santa Claus…

15

The Aristocrats!

16

“What’s the difference between peanut butter and jam?”

There’s no such thing as toe peanut butter?

17

At least now we understand the name of the series

“Kids, there’s a lot you need to know about life, but let me tell you about this one time in 2009 when I was in the store for some PB&J…”

18

The umbrella in the down position (closed) will go up the chimney. In the up position (open) it will not go down the chimney.

19

That explains the umbrella, but it doesn’t explain jolly old Saint Nick.

20

Well, if Mommy’s waiting under the Christmas tree…

Or, y’know, Daddy, if Santa is so inclined.