It might help drive the point home if you said it anyway
It probably depends a lot on how long ago you lost your mom. If she died last week, and you got a white rose, you might lose it. But it’s she died 6 months ago, and you are familiar with that tradition, it’s probably okay.
I guess you aren’t allowed to be estranged from your mom at that church?
That, or the immediate reminder that your mom is dead smashes the fragile mental barriers you’ve built to get through Mothers day, and you collapse in a wailing puddle in front of the church. YMMV. Seriously, that tradition sounds horrible.
Why in the world do they do this? I can’t see any purpose, instead it sounds just cruel.
Seriously. I can’t imagine the pressure of waiting to see if you get a red or white rose.
What pressure? Do you expect to be surprised at which you get? Don’t you already know if your mother is living?
It was sort of a joke. I would not expect to learn of a parent’s passing by being presented with a flower.
Surprise! Your mother is . . . dead!
Although I wonder if you can opt out? And what if you have two dads instead? Or a single father?
They used to do this (perhaps they still do) at the RC churches I attended when I was a churchgoer. They’d asked the women as they entered which color they’d prefer, and “neither” was an acceptable answer. Everyone seemed to be aware of what the colors signified.
Why would they only ask women? Don’t males have mothers as well?
Dunno. They did not confer with me when they established this practice.
Unless they are pinning red roses on the living mothers and white roses on the dead ones? Zombie mothers deserve respect as well.
ISTM the RC is an elaborate death cult and always has been. Weird.
My memory is foggy, but I am confident no dead moms were wheeled into the church.
Did you check for zombies or other undead?
Hmm. Some of the really old women could have been zombies, I guess. Can’t confirm after all.
I didn’t miss an RC Sunday mass from 1971 to 1985 (at which point I missed all of them) and I never remember them giving out pins or flowers or anything on Mothers day. Though I agree that zombies & cannibalism is one hell of a way to start a religion.
Dearest daughter,
I hope this email finds you well & that you are enjoying your first Mother’s Day.
I’m in a bit of a financial crunch & was hoping you could help out. Got a letter from the cemetery; if we don’t make that final payment for Grandma’s funeral, up she comes.
Love,
Mom
From my point of view, Mother’s Day is for honoring your own mother. The only appropriate circumstance to say “Happy Mother’s Day” to someone not your mom is when you see a mom with her kids on Mother’s Day, who are obviously celebrating the day together. This most often happens at church or a focused event. Any other usage is socially clueless at best.
I wouldn’t butt into their event.