Punha's weird night; or, why I wish my roommate had a sex life (Warning: WWWWTMI).

The scene: 3:00 am, Sunday night, my room. I’m in my bed, my roommate (male) in his. Bunkbeds, if anyone’s interested.

And then one of the weirdest (up until then) questions I have ever been asked: “Patrick, are you horny right now?”

Out of the blue. I wouldn’t have expected it if God Himself had told me my roommate would ask me that.

We continued talking about horniness for a minute or so, at which point I discovered the reason behind the questions: my roommate was horny. Damn horny, even. And he wanted sex. Now.

He offered me a deal . . . if I let him fuck me, he’d let me fuck him. Simple enough, for him. However, I am not one who engages in casual sex. Hell, right now I am not one who engages in much of anything sexual. Especially when I am not attracted to the offerer at all.

Further gems include things on the order of “What would it take for you to have sex with me?” and “I don’t think you understand how much I’d appreciate this” and “Oh, come on, you know you want a fuckbuddy”.

For easily fifteen minutes I went through this with him. Discussion matter ranged from the size of my penis to how I know I’m bisexual to what experience I have sexually. Answers: big enough (and upon further request, “I’m not going to show it to you” when he commented that a visual display would be preferable), same way he knows he’s gay, virtually none.

And at last he stopped with a “Well, if that changes (me not being horny), let me know.”

Now, this weirded me out. Kinda freaky. Flattering, on one level, but for all I know he’d have asked any male roommate he had regardless of sexuality. And on another level, I kinda felt sorry for him (don’t ask me to explain . . . this is all still very confusing). And confusing on yet another, since before then he didn’t believe I was bi. For all I know he still doesn’t believe me.

So I’ve now officially been propositioned. By a member of the same sex. Anyone know what that base is for either of us? I now open this up to the floor for comments, questions, and general banter:)

All your base are…

oops. sorry.


From every story on roommate etiquette I’ve ever heard of, this is WAY over the line. He should have at least bought you dinner first.

so, um…are you horny now?


You are bi|???

::goes off to chase MC, but not before . . . ::

Yup, Kelli, I’m bisexual.

I leave it to the TMs to figure out WHY I’m chasing MC.

I wonder if this is something that the designers of single sex dorms thought of.

I can see why you were weirded out. Hell, any kind of proposition from someone one doesn’t find attractive is a bit outweirding, without the bunk bed aspect of things(which I find deeply troubling and amusing at the same time. I don’t know why).

At least he took no for an answer, eventually. And at least you have a great anecdote.

I do have a really amusing anecdote, except that I don’t think it’d be appreciated by my family or many relatives or friends, since I think it’d embarass him to the point of . . . well, I don’t want to think about it. And I don’t want to do that to him. He hasn’t earned it yet.

You know, I thought this thread would be a lot more popular . . . what does it take around here, anway? Do I have to answer some of the questions he asked me?

It’s been months since I’ve gotten a true case of the heebie-jeebies.

Pun, thanks for breaking the streak.

You know you want to.

No, really. Go on . .

Hmm . . . so now I’ve given you the hives in Silver Fire’s thread, and the heebie-jeebies in this one.

Anything else I can do for you, ChiefScott?

Potter . . . hmm. I have virtually no sexual experience. how do I know I’m bi? How do you know you’re . . . whatever you are?:slight_smile:

I refuse to answer questions about length with straightforward answers except to say that I use both hands when I play.

Take that ANY way you like:D

I’m bi as well, and I came out to my closer friends Freshman year. At the time I was going to an all-male boarding school, which made tolerance of alternate sexualities not great, but they were cool about it.

Eventually I realized I had a huge thing for a friend of mine. We had conversations about it, and every so often it would descend to the point of me begging him to let me give him head. I never prevailed, and I no longer go to that school.

Cut to this year, me and my friends are at my house, incredibly wasted, and I’m lying in bed with an only slightly attractive friend. He was masturbating, and I came really close to putting a move on him. Lucky for me I didn’t, that probably wouldn’t have been good.

Don’t discriminate against gays based on me. Most queers are way more controlled than I. I also like being able to use the negative words for gay and still be PC. Hehe. You can’t say it! You’re straight!


<junior high locker room wit> Well yea…one hand to hold the magnifying glass… </junior high> :smiley:

You think you are - always best to trust your instincts. Plus, if you were completely straight I doubt you’d have gay men hitting on you . .


Potter wrote:

Well, my best friend (and former roommate), before he got married, was hit on by a few gay men in LA – as far as I know, he has never had any romantic or sexual interest in men.

I, on the other hand, have never been hit on by any gender…

…the clarinet?
:stuck_out_tongue: he he he :wink:

Hey, you need both hands for a piccolo, too.

Which one of you was…on top?

ROFL, Paddy. That would’ve been great to be around to see. ::smiles like a cheshire cat:: Wanna invite me next time to protect you? ::winks::

I was in a room full of knives, daggers, and swords last Saturday with a bunch of stoned people if that counts for anything interesting. ::glances to the side cautiously in remembrance::

Oh, and Paddy, do you really enjoy telling people about how many hands you use to play?

I just want a translation: wtf does “WWWWTMI” mean?

Actually, I sorta got clued in on Pat’s Preferences when he and another poster said I was “cute”. My eyebrows crawled around my [receding] hairline for a few before normality (my localized version, YMMV) was restored and equilibrium attained.

While I appreciate the sentiment, I was slightly disappointed that of three mentions as a “cute guy”, two were from other guys.

What am I doing wrong? :confused:

Sorry; this ain’t about me. I guess you handled the situation about as diplomatically and gracefully as possible. It doesn’t sound like you hurt any feelings, but
w/o more info on your roomate, I can’t really say whether or not this is the end of it. His persistence may have merely been an indication of his attraction to you, or the level of horniness on his part.

But let me ask you this: does his acceptance or belief in your status matter to you?

And I still wanna know what “WWWWTMI” means.

Hmmm…depends. Were you on top or bottom? :slight_smile: