Is it normal to feel a bit of ‘Oh my god what the hell have I just done?’ after getting one’s first dog, or is that a sign I should be finding her a new home?
I’d been thinking of getting a dog for about a year even though I’ve only ever had cats and birds, and thought I was prepared (financially, also by caring for other dogs). But now that I’ve gotten one (I bought her after playing with her at a local pet store over the course of a month. I know, I know, I should have adopted) I’m wishing I’d just walked on by.
She’s small and quite well-behaved, though she’s starting to howl and does regular puppy things (chewing, a bit of off-newspaper peeing). She’s friendly to most strangers and dogs yet is increasingly loyal to me.
My work/relationship situation may be changing in the next few months, and now I’m scared that she’ll either tie me down or I’ll traumatize her if I have to move across the country/world/city/whatever. I suppose a small part of me is also not looking forward to telling friends who’ve seen/fallen in love with her that I had to get rid.
Anyway, it’s only been two weeks… is this just regular, temporary regret or am I making a mistake here by not placing her in a better home asap?
I can’t tell you for sure, but I can say that two weeks is right around when I have second thoughts about *every *new acquisition - from the new sofa to a new cat to a new baby. Some of the “ooh - shiny new!” glamor has worn off, and the warm fuzzies of familiarity and routine haven’t replaced it yet. I’d give it a bit more time, if I was in your position. Of course, if you’re feeling truly neglectful or violent towards her, it’s time to get help. But if you’re just realizing that puppies can be a drag (and boy, can puppies be a drag!), then that’s a normal part of the new-mommy process.
This was also about the time I found crate-training to be a lifesaver. When I couldn’t watch the puppy, in the crate it went. It wouldn’t chew stuff up, so I wouldn’t yell, and we’d both be happier in the end. Sometimes I wish it was as easy with toddlers!
Maybe it would help if you posted some pics so we can all ooh and ahh over her cuteness!
I imagine that’s normal because it feels overwhelming to be responsible for another being so completely.
One thing is for sure. The dog WILL tie you down and limit some of your freedoms. It goes along with the territory. That doesn’t mean you can’t do things, you just have to have good planning. If you’re away for any quantity of time, you have to have someone come over and walk the dog for you. If you’re gone on vacation you have to take her with you or pay to board her. Apartments may be harder to find with a dog.
I say this because I have 3 dogs and I can relate to how you feel. I personally find the joy of having them far outweighs the inconveniences that come with dog ownership.
BTW, mine have moved 3 times, 2 of those times long distances to other states and were honestly no worse for the wear. No trauma, no big deal. To them it was just a really long truck ride. All animals are different , but that was my experience.
Puppies get incredibly annoying. They’re cute of course, but day-in-day out when they’re peeing all over your stuff, chewing up the legs of your furniture, and making general annoyances of themselves, it gets old. If you really like dogs, it’s worthwhile, if not, then it’s not, is what it really boils down to. As long as you properly house break the puppy, eventually they calm down and are nice to have around. Most dogs I’ve had once they get settled in and move out of puppydom they pretty much just lounge around the house and in general don’t make a big problem of themselves. You of course have to feed them and either walk them or let them outside (depending on your area and other factors) and should give them adequate attention, but they really do eventually start to basically manage themselves without being a constant annoyance.
Getting to that stage can be trying, but it’s nowhere near as bad as dealing with a baby human.
I vote normal. It only took me about a week to go … “What the fuck did I just do?”
Normal. Also - as an aside - buy pet insurance. Mine has paid for itself for the next three or four years. My dog has better insurance than I do!
Yep - they “impress” pretty quickly
Other people have noted that the dog WILL tie you down in some form. It can be good for some people though - gives them regularity. I know my dog both gets me up earlier and gets me home earlier. Definitely took a little adjusting.
As for traumatizing her - above you noted how she is “increasingly loyal.” What would traumatize her is losing the person that she’s connected with. For better or worse, you’re her mamma dog now.
I vote that you give it a little time. Accept that it’s normal (ETA: your feelings I mean) - try to enjoy the puppy behaviors (because they do actually go away - and you will miss having such a curious feisty little goblin around in favor of a lump on the couch that only moves for meals and elimination. Ok that’s a little exaggerated. ) and focus on figuring out how your life fits together with taking care of a dog.
It’s normal. I almost got rid of the second cat because of regrets. Now it’s all fine. If you still don’t want the dog in, say, another month, then consider rehoming. I suspect it won’t be an issue, though.
Totally consistent with my experience. I wanted a dog forever, and I did tons of research and after a few near-misses I suddenly ended up with a 70-lb pit bull who all the rescue people told me was a complete delight.
I certainly did go through the “omigodwhathaveIdone” freak-out (it was more than 2 weeks, tho, maybe a month). But he totally won me over.
Everyone involved warned me of the 3-month honeymoon period, after which we would be adjusted to each other and it would all settle down. Such was the case. We’re best pals now.
FTR, just after my sister was born my dad called the hospital to try to return her. (Didn’t work.) So I guess that’s normal too.
Thanks so much for the reassurance. My significant other is questioning my readiness to give her away. She’s an absolute bundle of joy and I’m going to do my best, but if in the next few months we make one another truly miserable or I cannot care for her, I do think I’d give her away to the right person (a friend or trusted someone with photo/video updates – no puppy mills in disguise!)
I think you are handling this exactly the right way - giving it some time. If your SO is questioning your giving her away, you might just be nervous about this new love/life/mess in your life. It will get better.
I really questioned my decison to take in yet another cat, even though he was a love and a breed I’d always wanted, but never would have paid for. All my cats hated him! After the first few weeks all is much calmer, and he is often to be found in a pile with his furbrothers and sisters.
I really, really do second (third, fourth) the crate-training recommendation. It cuts down a lot on the puppy behaviors that make you question your decision to get one in the first place!
Another one for saying your emotions are probably normal. Heck, I was in that stage for most of the first few weeks when I got my puppy.
She’s grown a bit now, but I don’t regret having my “puppy”. She’s my family, my companionship, the one who makes me smile every day and the one I can hug and kiss every day. She’s right now resting next to me looking at me with a “What are you pondering, mom?” look.
Oh, and she has travelled 3 times from Louisiana to Puerto Rico, no problems. I’m sure it is not her favorite ride, but at the same time she enjoys both places, so I cannot say it is all that traumatic.
And yes, I went through the Oh, my god, what have I done, I’m not so sure I want this dog, the mess, the responsibility, and it’s a living creature, and I’m going to be its only source of food, shelter, exercise, love… and then not to mention the middle-of-the-night whining and trips outside to pee. Er, both the dog and I whined, actually.l
) and focus on figuring out how your life fits together with taking care of a dog.