First of all, I vote for GilaB’s advice - stick it out and make a platonic friendship work over the “run for the hills” option - most of my closest female friends are former unrequited crushes or former girlfriends. Backing away for a little while isn’t bad advice - it can be done even within the confines of a group of friends (I’ve done it often enough).
But as for this –
Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it. You never know how romance begins.
A while back, I went to a party planning to make a last gasp attempt to reunite with a woman who had broken up with me about a month before. I got shot down cold - an ended up getting picked up (and seduced) by a girl who I had never met before. We were together almost four years.
Every guy i have ever taken an earnest interest in has run away screaming or (worse), insists upon staying my friend but refusing me the satisfaction of a single date. At 17, i’ve gone out with one person, and he was a mentally abusive psychopath from whom it took me the past three years to TRY and repair the damage to what little self esteem i had.
A few ideas. Try this.
look at someone you’ve known for like forever, that girl from 5th grade math class, or whatever (boy from 5th grade math class, in my case–literally, this helped me) and find something crushworthy about that person. The only rule is, you’re not allowed to let it develop. Flirt your little ass off, be as close as possible, but don’t worry about it as a dating thing. obviously what you need is just a little work on how to keep friends you have a crush on just as friends. also you may need a slightly wider friend base than you have…i once had the entire punk scene in my town hell bent against me and since most of those people were the ones i thought were my friends, i realized that i NEEDED the people i had passed off as too geeky to be my friends anymore. since then i’ve really developed a lot of friends in a lot of groups and
Look at someone from a crowd you normally hate to be around. pick someone who interests you, whether it’s because she wears that clashing t shirt with her cheerleading skirt on spirit day or because she fidgets with her lip ring a certain way… and try to get to know them a little better. you’ll find you like them before you realize what you’re doing. Whamo–instant crush, just add water. you’ll forget all about ol’ what’s her name…and this will add to your friends bill instantly. Don’t worry about not being cool enough or whatever–if the girl is cool enough, you need to just bolster up your self confidence and act pretty much like she needs you and not vice versa (not to the point of being obnoxious, but enough to let her know you’re worth it.)
As a 16 year old, I can attest to what you are going through. You can still be friends with her. Just ask yourself what you could do with her that you cannot already do as friends. The list is suprisingly small. Sometimes it’s nice to just be around girls you like. Give up the search. I agree with the others and say you should ask just once more. Sometimes people change. But if that fails, stop looking. When you stop looking, the fun starts.
Want some fun? Find a really popular and pretty girl who is standing with her friends. Walk up to her, and in your most concerned voice say “Let’s just be friends.” It’s good to say it to people who don’t expect it. It helps take the edge off the dread phrase when you hear it (and believe me, we all do).
Don’t look for a lifelong partner at 14. I know that you are very mature for your age; however, a lot of girls are not at that age. I am not gonna bullshit you about how you’re too young. You and I both know that’s untrue. I am pretty sure you are ready for a relationship. Just don’t read too deeply into it.
And last of all, don’t turn girlfriends into commodities. It’s a mood killer when someone says “I need a boyfriend/girlfriend” like it is something you can pick up at the store. If nothing else, chicks dig funny guys. Be yourself, and get good friends with a few girls you aren’t romantically interested in. They can give ya a lot of pointers and can save you from embarassment if you need a date.
Good luck my friend!
You never know how romance begins.