Put On a Fucking Sweater!

The BBQ Pit
1

Dear Blue-Lips,

Please learn to dress yourself.

Last night, you came over to dinner with your boyfriend. You took off your coat, and you were wearing a thin cotton sleeveless sweater. Sleeveless? It’s the middle of March in New Jersey!

I knew I was in for a bad night.

You come over for dinner fairly frequently. My husband and I like your boyfriend very much. We want to like you, too, but you’re making it very hard for us. Every time you come over, it’s the same old thing. You show up wearing some skimpy little thing, and then you get cold. But you refuse to admit you’re cold. You start to shiver and turn blue. When I notice this, I always ask you if you want a sweater. And you say…

“I’m fine.”

And I say, “but you’re shivering! I’ll get you a sweater. Or would you like me to turn up the heat?” And you say,

“Really, I’m fine.”

So I sit there and watch you shiver, and I get more and more uncomfortable as I watch you suffer for no good reason except that you a) dress like an idiot and b) refuse to admit that you’re cold.

Yes, you have a gorgeous body. You are lean and toned and have nary a gram of excess body fat. You are the walking, breathing embodiment of the Shape magazine ideal. You dress in abbreviated outfits to show off your body. But I have to tell you, you don’t look so good with your shoulders hunched over and your arms wrapped around yourself in an attempt to conserve your meager body heat.

And it’s not like you have no access to warm clothing. Your boyfriend manages an outdoor store for fuck’s sake! He can get you the clothes that they wear on Mount Everest for below wholesale! Could you at least set yourself up with some long undies and a fleece sweater?

It’s gotten to the point where I really don’t want you to come over to my house anymore. Why should I feed you and entertain you if I am sure you’ll be miserable. Do you think that we keep our house too cold? We do keep it on the cool side in the wintertime, but I’d be willing to turn up the heat for you. Of course, I’d rather not waste the fuel to overheat the whole house just because you insist on dressing like you live in Miami, but I try to do what I can to make my guests comfortable.

Is this some kind of weird passive-aggressive manipulative game? Do you get off on having people beg and plead to help you? Is this your way of getting to be the center of attention? I know that you’re not making a subconscious protest against hanging out with us, because you’re the one who initiates seeing us.

So what’s your choice, Ms. Blue-Lips? Are you gonna put on a sweater or are you gonna lose our friendship? Because things are rapidly heading in that direction. We have enough friends that we don’t need to hang out with someone who stresses us out.

2

I know people like that. My philosophy is that if I notice someone is cold, I will offer them a sweater or warmth, and if they refuse, I just let them suffer. I don’t give a shit. Suffering brought on by one’s own stupidity/pride/ego does not warrant my sympathy.

But then I’m a mean old bastard anyway.

3

But someone MIGHT NOT SEE HER UNRESTRAINED NIPPLES!!!

Can’t you see the conflict here?

4

I thought from the title that perhaps my mother had joined the board and taken up cursing more. Most disappointing.

5

Why the hell do you let it bother you that much? Besides it almost Spring. Let it ride a few weeks and forget about it.

6

Vain git.

Let her suffer. Not your fault she’s stupid.

Just wait’ll August, when she’s wearing the same clothes only it’s chilly indoors cos you’ve the AC turned up high. Then you can offer her ice water to ward off the heat :smiley:

7

BBBBButtt I lllllike it cccccccold.

:wink:

8

Ooh. I too have the bad habit of underdressing… but I’m used to being cold when I do :wink: (example: waearing a dress when I’m in the South and it’s about 65, and the future-mom-in-law tells me “You look so cold!” I would rather be that cold than bundled up-wrapped in a blanket-bonechiling cold that I get here at home)

Maybe she DOES like being cold… masochist? But she shouldn’t be indulging her kinks in your kitchen in any case :slight_smile:

9

I dunno. I’d prefer fucking a girl in a teddy, rather than a sweater. :smiley:

10

Band name.

I’d go to see them.

Fenris

11

I dunno, it must be a female mothering thing because I don’t get it. Why would you care what an adult, who is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, decides to do? Why would it bother you if she wants to be cold/hot, hungry/thirsty, or whatever? She is not your child, she is an adult. I have never seen a man feel this way, only women. I cannot imagine having a beer with my male friends and any of them getting upset because I’m wearing my vest unbuttoned or my belt too tight. They are perfectly happy to let me do whatever I prefer. . . Why can’t a woman … be more like a man?

12

I’m with you, Green Bean. Don’t let this woman get to you. Next time she wants to show off her gorgeous body in abbreviated clothing, send her over to MY house.

13

Because then they wouldn’t have breasts or vaginas. A lot of fun that would be. :frowning:

14

Do you guys eat your dinner outside? I’ve lived in cold climates before and I never had difficulty wearing thin, sleeveless, cotton garments indoors. How cold do you keep it in the house?

Marc

15

Men are so pleasant, so easy to please;
whenever you’re with them, you’re always at ease

In case anyone may have missed the reference, it is from My Fair Lady

16

Oh no, I caught the My Fair Lady referance, and I was just on my way here to ask you how you were doing…but we’re not allowed to flirt in the Pit.

17

You’ve got some serious issues, and I don’t think that her putting on a sweater will address them.

18

For REAL.

I think ‘Is this some kind of weird passive-aggressive manipulative game?’ might be a useful question to ask more than one person involved here.

19

Nah, I wouldn’t really reject someone as a friend because she refuses to put on a sweater. Chalk that line up to poetic license, m’kay?

The sweater thing is just the tip of the iceberg (no pun intended) with her. Truth is, there are a lot of unrelated and semi-related reasons that we are beginning to dislike her. But damn is that sweater thing annoying!

20

Gotcha.

On another note, here’s something you may not have thought of. Maybe she just doesn’t like sweaters? Maybe she thinks they make her hips look big. Have you offered her a jacket, or a shawl? Perhaps a ‘throw’? Or maybe she’s allergic to wool, and cotton too? And artificial threads? Have you even asked her about her fabric requirements? Maybe you aren’t being sensitive enough to her needs? I mean really, Green Bean, can you even stop thinking about yourself for one second??