Nice, especially from the Hypno-Toad! 
That is the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of.
Raleigh is the capital of North Carolina.
He’s NOT the king of Raleigh.
Maybe he’s the King of North Carolina… or the Duke of Raleigh… but he is NOT the “King of Raleigh”. You’d think he’d get his delusions straight :rolleyes: 
Eve, I really think this might be an example of a justifiaboow mewcy kiwwing.
Eve, I applaud both your professionalism, and your personal restraint.
I, on the other hand, could only modify my visceral response by removing my jackboots. With my feet still in them. For only my bloody stumps would prove a useful distraction.
You ahw my hewo.
Well, one time she walked past me giggling girlishly and singing to herself in a baby voice, and I said, “really, dear, no one has *ever *pushed you onto the subway tracks?” And she laughed and said, “Oh, you–you’re always kidding!”
Just reading this is inducing stabbiness, I have no idea how i’d listen to that every workday.
“Thank you, iPod!” As I crank up the Best of Ethel Merman to ear-injuring levels.
Bwahahaha at the subway tracks!
Do you ever get the urge to out-oopsy-boopsy her? Just start a conversation with her and go breathier and squeakier and wigglier and cutesier until suddenly you smack yourself hard across the back of the head and say, in your normal voice, ‘Ahhhh. Much better. Want me to fix yours too?’
Better idea: Jack her into your iPod and crank up the Ethel Merman Disco album to ear-injuring levels.
I actually knew a girl in school who talked like this, and it was endearing. But that was because it was real. I don’t understand why it would be endearing for someone to fake a speech impediment. It’s like how a starving person views an anorexic.
I can only be kind and assume at some point this woman had a father or husband or boyfriend who thought it was *adowable *when she talked like a baby duckling being garroted.
Now? Not so much.
Having been kicked hard in the cunt, I can assure you it doesn’t hurt anywhere near as much as being hit by a handball that breaks your glasses, headbutted by a child on the mouth, or having a curious baby perform some explorations of your tits which lead you to plonk her on her mother’s lap with a notice that “I think her nails need trimming - as soon as you’re done feeding her”.
I’d go for the latest approach, if your nails aren’t cut or bitten to the quick.
People with non-seseo accents don’t lisp. The notion that being able to pronounce your Z and S differently is some sort of pronunciation problem is a pet peeve of mine, you’re lucky I’m not in the mood to pull up my usual rant about it.
And the way Spanish baby talk works is by using baby words, too many diminutives and a high voice. Actually, just youtube piolín or piolin to hear Tweety Bird speaking Spanish.
There was a period in Spanish history during which domains were named after their capital, maybe he’s just a very, very old king (6th-10th century, more or less).
I thought you were a good Catalan from Barcelona; aren’t you statutorily required to insult Castillians and their speech?
[And I’m not at all fluent in Spanish, but from my limited experience listening to various native Spanish speakers, the stereotype of lisping Castilians isn’t completely without basis]
I’m from Navarra, my mother is from Barcelona. As Dad would say when Catalans asked him “you’re Castilian, right?” (meaning “your primary language is Spanish”) “FUCK NO! Navarra is not, nor has it ever been, Castilla!” It was the only time I heard him swear, but it was a huge trigger.
And being able to pronounce both Zaragoza and Sevilla properly (which Catalans do when speaking Spanish, as does people from most places north of Getafe - not just Castillians) is not a pronunciation defect.
Eve, why don’t you fwow up on de empewess’s shoes?
I briefly considered telling her this morning that she should be in mourning for Steve Jobs, as my iPod is the only reason she is still living and I am not in jail.
I downloaded a Spanish-teaching podcast (Coffee Break Spanish) to help me learn a little Spanish. Imagine my surprise at hearing a Glaswegian accent. And then a Cast… “northern” Spanish pronunciation. (It amused the hell out of some coworkers who have roots in Mexico and Puerto Rico.)