Vehemence counts for something. I fully expect that if mmm had indeed just posted “I don’t care”, no flags would have been thrown and no mod action would have occurred, and most likely no feathers anywhere would’ve gotten ruffled. As was the case with the other poster(s) indicating ambivalence or indifference later.
It was an attempt to be funny (quoting a sitcom) that happened to fall flat. Death and funerals being rather emotive topics for many people, trying to going over the top ended up going over the edge. For them.
It would have been worse if this had been one of the first couple of responses. But thankfully it was not.
Again. not meaning to belabor the point, but sometimes a report about a post where someone claims to be offended needs to be examined from an appropriate context and broader perspective and just ignored.
Remember this ridiculous kerfuffle? It was a discussion about cat avatars on the board, not even about cats, and someone complained that I was allegedly a cat-hater (which I absolutely am not) and you responded with an unwarranted mod note, there, too:
I’m WAGing here, but I think if MMM had said something along the lines of “I’ll be dead, so I won’t care” it would’ve been fine. Or, at least may not have resulted in a mod note. IMO, it was this:
To quote Frasier Crane:
“…at Cornell University they have an incredible piece of scientific equipment known as the Tunneling Electron Microscope. Now, this microscope is so powerful that by firing electrons you can actually see images of the atom, the infinitesimally minute building blocks of our universe. …if I were using that microscope right now, I still wouldn’t be able to locate my interest in” what I wear to my own funeral.
That, I think, almost made your level of not caring aggressive. Like you were lecturing people on how much you don’t care. Add in the fact that it was Frasier talking and it comes off as condescending to people that do care.
A close analogy would be if you are at a party and there are different groups of people having different conversations. You wander into a group of people talking about a subject, and you intervene to say you have no opinion about that subject.
In which case, the people in the conversation would question why you were even there, why did you rudely barge in and give a worthless comment? Why not wander off to join another conversation where you might be able to constructively participate?
Another reason why this is problematic, is that regardless of internt, when you state that you have no opinion on the subject of a discussion, you are implying that nobody else should either. Otherwise, why even bother to post the statement? And by doing so, you further imply that the discussion shouldn’t be taking place at all, and the people involved are wasting their time. And that’s probably the primary reason why it’s considered a thread shit.
I agree it was a thread shit. There was no purpose to making the post other than to say that the subject under consideration was of so little importance, one wondered why it was being discussed at all. Which, if nothing else, was rude.
Were I to guess, I think that MMM simply relished an opportunity to use the Frasier screed in some context where it made sense to him and seemed witty. I thought it was funny in the original show, but that was a sitcom. This is people having a conversation, and a rather lighthearted one. The Frasier screed really missed the mark, irrespective of the poster’s intent.
And no, I don’t think everything needs to be said. There are literally hundreds of threads where I start to respond, realize I have nothing of value to say and just hit ‘Discard’.
Well, we really are going down a rabbit-hole now. But that’s a bad analogy.
Consider a conversation about what one should wear when traveling on an airplane, say a nice long trip from NY to LA. Some people like to dress up for travel. Others are happy to go just with whatever their everyday wear is.
The observation that “I don’t really care what I look like or what anyone thinks of me, I just go as I am” is not the same as “I have no opinion on the subject”.
Additional to that, there’s also the point I made – a few posts upthread – with reference to the objections to the mod note in the old “cat avatar” thread. Sometimes an innocent attempt at humour will be misinterpreted as hostility by those who are so inclined.
No one did this. The opinion was “what I wear is not important to me,” not “I have no opinion on this.” The difference is subtle, but the context matters. Simply saying the former negates the latter, because if the latter were true the former would be false.
I wasn’t involved in this thread, but I followed it with interest. Not long ago, there was a discussion about hijacks, and it was very clearly established what one is allowed to write without fearing a mod note. Now, this thread defines what a “threadshit” is and who decides whether a somewhat thoughtless remark can be criticized as a “threadshit.” To me, it looks like things are becoming increasingly standardized, and one constantly has to worry about crossing any boundaries. I don’t post much, and I feel like posting less and less, because I never know for sure if my post might cross some line. Doesn’t this amount to overregulation of posts?
Yes, that’s true. But it was also, in the opinion of many,
Thank you, @wolfpup , for stating that clearly, even if you disagree regarding this post.
Also, it was apparently a quote of a TV show. That may well have been relevant to the intent, and people who recognized it may have read the post differently. But this was not a thread about Frasier. A post needs to stand on its own. On its own, I read it as hostile. I understand that wasn’t the intent of the poster, but it was how it came off, apparently to many (but not all) readers.
I’m very sorry you feel that way. I hope posters understand that in general, mod notes are not meant to be punitive. They are meant to keep a thread on track and to discourage behavior that is harmful to other posters, even well-intentioned behavior that’s accidentally harmful. They aren’t warnings. In general, prior mod notes don’t matter. We don’t formally keep track of them. Many excellent posters pick up an occasional mod note.
too much detail, because someone will bring this up
I mean, if a mod brings someone up in the mod loop, and the response from other mods is, “didn’t i just give that poster a note about that same behavior last week?”, “yeah, you did, so did i.” “Oh heck, that poster doesn’t usually post on my forums, but i just noted them, too.”… Then the notes might matter. But if you pick up a note every year or two, and follow the advice, it’s really not a big deal.
This is one of those situations where if one person does it it’s not that bad, but if everyone did it it would cause problems. The OP wants to discuss the various types of clothing people might prefer to be dressed in at their own funeral. The assumption should be that the thread is for people who have an opinion about what they want to be buried in, not that the OP is asking every member of the SMDB a direct question. If the thread is swamped with posts that say “I don’t care”, the thread won’t be productive or enjoyable. If instead it asked “Do you care what you’re buried in?”, then “I don’t care” responses would be acceptable. The mod note served a secondary function of preventing a lot of “I don’t care” responses so the thread could stay focused on burial clothing and why people made that choice.
I can’t just let this go because it’s just so wrong. It’s confusing “lack of concern” with “lack of opinion” which are two entirely different things. I thought my travel analogy would make that clear.
I absolutely have opinions about how I should dress in various specific circumstances. In some of those circumstances, my opinion is that I need to dress neatly and fairly formally; in others, my opinion is “I don’t care – whatever is convenient”. That latter one is definitely an opinion, and in fact one that I hold rather strongly.
I think it is more like:
“Please don’t post if you don’t have an opinion on the subject.”
“But I do have an opinion on the subject, and that is I don’t have an opinion on the subject, so that counts!”
