Poly will we diddle all the day… 
Carrying that a little far aren’t you? I meant in general she should consider that her first marriage didn’t work, and what possible reasons, including the definition of monogamy may have played into it. If that didn’t matter, then it didn’t. Not that big of a deal.
And yes, it probably would be the kitchen thing.
Add that to the tab of beers I owe you, should we ever meet. 
The Procrustean marriage bed? :eek:
The fact that you think those words require definition demonstrates that you are familiar with neither.
No, there are no moral absolutes. If both people are fine with it, you can honor and respect each other and still have sex with others. The honesty is what it’s about.
Having said that, it’d never work for me. I can’t have sex with someone and not have tender feelings for them. More pragmatically, if my wife had sex with someone else I’d be very hurt and probably couldn’t work through the jealousy.
I wonder how many people that think they can handle being poly are kidding themselves.
Given the rate of extramarital affairs, there’s a lot of folks who are apparently kidding themselves when they think they can handle monogamy, too.
As you said, honesty is imperative.
What you claim to have meant does not equal – in the least – what you actually said, which was “this didn’t work out all that well the first time.” Don’t fault me for replying to what you said.
(It’s not going to be the kitchen thing, it’s going to be the “she didn’t read my mind!” thing… ;))
Baloney.
Yeah, that’s what I was getting at with “It’s more likely that there are a lot of people lying (to others and themselves) about what sex means to them.” I’ve known a lot of men who thought they could handle casual sex.
Indeed.
Aaaaaand another beer.
Qadgop doesn’t really believe what he’s saying. He’s just in it for the free beer.
What I actually said is “She might note this didn’t work all that well the first time”. That is completed different from the way you separated part of it from the context. She might note that. That’s all it means, not that anyone can assume that the non-monogomal terms of her marriage were the cause of a divorce, but that it is something to consider.
I’ll take a ginger beer, thanks. 
:smack::smack::smack:
Oh, fuck, Q. Apologies.
:smack::smack::smack:
My new girlfriend is right, I *have *been fucking us both stupid.
It’s no biggie. I just don’t drink alcohol these days, that’s all. I don’t expect everyone to know that.
Cool. I’m functioning at a somewhat diminished mental capacity due to over-exertion and under-sleep. Plus, those :smack: icons are fun to click once you get started.
How, exactly, does the addition of “she might note” change the context of “this didn’t work”? You’re still claiming to know exactly what did or didn’t work. You didn’t say “she might note this may not have worked,” or “she might note this could have been a contributing factor,” it was “she might note this didn’t work.”
I’m not saying that I have any issue with what you meant, but don’t try to weasel out of what you said.
Ok, I see what you’re on about. Yes indeed, “she might note **this could have been **a contributing factor” would have been a better way to put it. I intended might as the qualifier, but apparently it was insufficient to connote my meaning.
I think cheating can only be defined by the parties in the relationship. I know people who are monogamous and that works for them. I know people who are poly and that works for them.
Bingo.
Clearly a mature and long term solution to an already bad situation.
;thumbs up; for some people…
What’s shocking to me is how many middle aged people are still either A) uncertain about sexual relations in a marriage/full time relationship and B) how sex is such a topic that defines said relationship.
Don’t people have hobbies and stuff to do together?
I had this one seventies something golden girl chatting my ear off at the doctors about how her sex life is down since her husband got old (you know it happens). I’m like fu** off old lady, you had your sixty years to screw; now shut up and go do some old person thing like knitting or bridge club.
Humans need to learn to accept reality and roles.
Such a cop-out get out of jail card.