"She and her husband…" Not all relationships are monomagous. People do what works for them. That’s all.
How do you figure? In any serious relationship, she and I will decide whether we are exclusive. If we are, we will define what constitutes cheating. If we break those rules, then we have cheated.
With an arrangement like this I have to wonder if she’s a swinger or just into sex with strangers. I find it hard to believe she “accepted” this arrangement and wants to do it in another one, and she doesn’t like swinging and things of that nature.
Wait a second, how do I get in this free beer program?
I agree with this, too.
So people shouldn’t be allowed to set their own boundaries in their own relationships? Should they run it by you first to make sure you approve?
Amuse me. 
Plenty of monogamous marriages fail. Should we note that it didn’t work, and maybe they should try another sexual arrangement in the next one?
My partner would never go for it (and I wouldn’t try it, out of respect for him) but I can completely understand monogamishy. When I sit down and think, honestly and completely, about my partner having a properly protected one night stand on a business trip…well, it really just doesn’t seem like that big of a deal to me. It’s not exactly a pleasant thought, but I couldn’t imagine tearing our whole lives apart because of it. It seems like something that would piss me off for a week or so, and then I’d get over it. If being grumpy for a week allows him to fully explore his sexuality, that seems like a fair trade off.
The whole idea that you are supposed to only have sex with this one person ever again seems kind of random and unintuitive to me. Why just that one act? I don’t expect to be the only person my husband has a conversation with, or plays board games with, or has a bonding experience with. We live big, complex lives and no single person is everything to any other person. So why is this one thing so absolute? Why not allow a little variety now and then, within good taste and with respect for each other?
I think polyamory introduces relationships, which is something I’m not comfortable with. And swingers have a much more all-encompassing lifestyle than I find appealing. But monogamish relationships seem natural and reasonable to me.
Of course it’s not mature. 
But neither is cheating on someone instead of having the guts to be honest and walk away from a relationship when you know the other person expects you to be monogamous.
I don’t really think there will be cheating in our situation, but at least everyone knows what to expect if it does happen. That’s better than just surprising someone with your crazed outburst of revenge.
Thanks for playing, but no. I have been in monogamous long term relationships and polyamorous long term relationships. I don’t feel any more “glue-y” when I’m monogamous. I’m really, honestly just okay with it either way. As long as honesty and love are present, I’m good. I’m good with having other partners, I good with him having other partners, I’m good with neither of us having other partners. (I’ve never been in a relationship where I was okay with him having other partners and not me, though. I’m not saying it couldn’t happen, it just hasn’t yet.) Just give me your ground rules, let’s talk it over, and I’m good.
OP, I had an open marriage for 10 years (which broke up not because we were poly, though I don’t expect most people to believe that), except we weren’t limited to “one night” things, but had actual relationships with other people, with the understanding that our marriage came first. It’s actually pretty common, although still not in the majority, among my subculture. As are triads - groups of three people all in a romantic/sexual relationship with each other, quads - fours and pretty much any permutation of any number of people you can imagine having sex and/or relationships, sometimes with a whole of a group, sometimes with only one member of the group.
I keep hoping The Clintons will hold a press conference some day and admit Hillary knew about Monica all along, and didn’t care; that his only mistake was letting it become public. 
Meh, you both need to rein it in a bit. People can make whatever relationship agreements they’re comfortable with, and there’s no good reason to blindly stick to “what’s done” just because “it’s always been that way.” On the other hand, she needs to recognize that some people really are wired for fidelity, and it’s not a moral failing if they are.
There are no “shoulds” here, other than be honest about what you need and what you’re doing.
Different strokes for different folks. I’ve heard of people who need to spend a lot of time apart taking the attitude that it’s better for the marriage and more fair to scratch the itch and have a one night stand, as long as you don’t bring diseases or a bill for child support home. I’ve heard of people who are naturally jealous who believe that jealousy is immoral taking the attitude that it’s OK to sleep around as long as you come back to them and don’t tell them about it, because knowing what you are doing makes them jealous and they don’t want to be jealous. I think my favorite was the bisexual couple who had the arrangement that their partner was free to sleep around as long as it was only with members of the same gender.
Sure. Like, for example, having sex.
I think people can have troubles when there is a disconnect between what they think they OUGHT to feel in a certain situation (either morally or aspirationally) and what they ACTUALLY feel when that situation occurs.
I am self-aware enough (at least on this particular smidgen of human experience) to figure that I’m a horribly jealous, insecure, and needy individual who has trouble understanding how sex could be apart from emotional attachment. That said, I’d really like it if I were ok with polyamory. I think it’s really nifty, and I think that it can be a stable relationship type. Just… not for me.
But if I were less self-aware, I could maybe convince myself that I was totally cool with the idea - until it became a reality and I realized that I couldn’t hack it. The experience and my realization would probably kill that relationship, because it would so fundamentally change the dynamics that the other party(ies) thought they were getting into.
And that’s really (IMO) not really anyone’s fault - sure, it’s better to be self-aware, but people delude themselves about stuff all the time, that’s nothing new.
I don’t think anyone’s put forth that as a possibility for the relationship ending, and it very well could be.
Still, specifically to the OP - I don’t think you’re a prude, I just think that you are probably older, and used to a very narrow range of acceptable relationship styles and attitudes. People are mixing it up a bit more now, and as long as all the parties involved are capable adults and are being honest about their needs and intentions then there’s really nothing to get fussed over. Love and affection and attraction and sex are all messy anyway - throwing a few random permutations in there won’t screw anything up permanently.
Every word requires definition.
Even “sanctimoniousness.”
That there’s what we call a SNEAK BRAG!
ETA: Congratulations!
That wouldn’t surprise me in the slightest. Ms. Clinton strikes me as a woman with an agenda; her husband sleeping with other women wasn’t a problem; him being stupid enough to get caught was.
Well, IME and IMHO, most people consider having sex a completely different type of activity than having conversations, playing board games or having bonding experiences with friends is. Sex is the one thing that makes one’s SO separate and special from the rest of one’s social circle, being the most intimate, intense and personal activity there is. It’s also never completely non-risky the way those other activities are. Comparing having sex to playing board games seems relativistic and detached beyond belief. YMMV.
Not for me. Sharing my hopes and fears is FAR more intimate. Someone being bad in bed is far less damaging than someone using my fears and dreams to manipulate me mentally or emotionally.
I agree with the “to each their own” crowd. I have many friends with many different arrangements, and they only go bad when people get dishonest.
Now that there has been some discussion, I wanted to do a follow up post.
First, I honestly don’t think I was being judgmental. I don’t think any less of my friend. I was just surprised she had that attitude. I don’t begrudge anyone to live how they want to live but that said, I think that she is fooling herself (and I told her as much).
To me, by definition, you can’t be in love with person A while being fine with person B putting his dick inside you (and vice versa for a guy of course). Not really in love. Maybe you love them as a friend but that is at best. To me the whole thing smacks of someone who is unhappy in their relationship and is looking for someone else but it afraid or unwilling to leave the first person and be alone for a while.
Also, it really wasn’t the part about her marriage that bothered me but the second part about how she felt it would be okay to have a boyfriend who she may get along with in every other way but if he was unsatisfying to her sexually, she would have sex with other people.
I couldn’t imagine what guy would be okay with that arrangement especially since she was very clear that she wasn’t talking about cheating but about being upfront and letting them know this would be happening. Would anyone think that was just fine (again, even if you flip the sexes it still seems ridiculous)? I told her she was crazy if she thought someone would be okay with that arrangement. But again, I don’t think she is awful for feeling this way, just wrong.
I have shared my hopes and fears with many of my best friends. It is intimate, sure, but something I feel I can and want to share with them. Sharing my bed is a whole 'nother ball game. But, as you say, to each their own.