Not political at all on my end; they’re just very successful politicians to me (I don’t care much about US American politics). My assumptions about Bill and Hillary Clinton are that Hillary married Bill because he was going to be president some day, she wanted to be there when he did, she knows about everything he does, and she doesn’t care as long as it doesn’t affect her ambitions.
But that’s probably not important right now. 
I don’t know why I bothered replying before reading everything, because even_sven said everything I should have, but better
But what if these partners have these “meaningless one night stands”-or at least what was honestly entered into as meaningless-and it becomes meaningful nonetheless? Would the spouses still be ok sharing?
And what if a partner in a monogamous relationship has a friendship which starts to cross the line into an emotional affair?
In any arrangement, honesty and playing by the agreed upon rules in paramount. I had a female friend who started to subtly indicate that it was OK to have more than friendship, which would definitely not be OK with Mrs. Bayer. We’re not poly and I dropped the friendship. I would expect that if the rules of such an open relationship would do something similar.
good working relationships need honesty, communication and problem solving mechanisms.
there is much written about polyamory, and because it is against the cultural norm many of the people who do it then have read what is out there. it is pretty much stated that you need honesty, communication and problem solving mechanisms to make it work. this often leads to people who do polyamory successfully being more stable than the average monogamous relationship.
some swingers might have developed honesty, communication and problem solving mechanisms and are set to accommodate changes. some swingers might be the type to ‘i don’t want to think about what you do’ or ‘we don’t need rules because it isn’t serious’ and could get into trouble.
there is a smaller group of people that are bout polyamory and swingers, with rules/goals/expectations for each. these people might be better prepared than those who are swingers only.
This is an honest question and not meant to be argumentative but are people who are okay with this, okay with it because it gives them a license to do the same?
Because otherwise, I just can’t comprehend how someone would be okay knowing a stranger was touching their Significant Other in that way. Just thinking about it in the abstract makes my stomach turn. I swear I am not a jealous or possessive person (I like to think I am easy going in relationships and I know that I am trusting) but I just couldn’t abide by that. However, I could see how doing the same thing would make it a bit easier to handle.
I guess I am just trying to understand.
I’m okay with it because I don’t have the slightest interest in what goes on in the bedroom of two or more consenting adults. If they are making their lives easier and more pleasant by engaging in a “non-traditional” relationship, then more power to them.
For the record, I’ve never been in a poly relationship, and I don’t think it would work for me. But if people want to do it, they should go right ahead, if that’s what works for them.
You’re not going to understand, and you don’t have to/aren’t supposed to understand. Attempts at explaining it would be pointless – not because you aren’t smart or open-minded enough, but just because you’re not wired that way. All that’s asked of you is to accept and respect that some others are wired differently.
When it happened to me, in the open marriage, I told my husband immediately. It was, by the rules of our relationship, “cheating” for me to put someone else before him in my heart and priorities. As soon as, and I mean within hours, I realized that The New Guy meant more to me than my husband, I told him. We discussed it (I and my husband and the three of us), and decided that a triad wasn’t going to work, and as neither my husband nor I were happy in the marriage at that point anyhow, it was best if we divorced. And we would have done so regardless of whether or not The New Guy and I stayed in our relationship. It was not the cause of our demise, but an impetus for a divorce that should have happened at least 2 years before it did.
^That sounds very cerebral. There were, in reality, some fireworks and tears for a few weeks. But in the long run, it’s worked beautifully. I won’t say we’re bestest of friends, but the judge at our (DIY) divorce hearing congratulated us on our handling of the divorce, all four of us (my ex, his girlfriend, me and my SO) are functional co-parents of our little girl and we continue to go to the same social functions and share a group of friends.
I’ve known a few couples where the partners have permission to have sex with other people, but one partner never does.
What makes you think it would be a stranger? In my experience, it’s much more likely to be a mutual friend.