Question about sex (Females only, TMI)

In My Humble Opinion
41

[QUOTE=TooEmbarassed]
TooEmbarassed reporting back in. Success! Out of respect for my partner’s privacy (and :dubious: at the insane thread views) I won’t elaborate on details, but I definitely did feel it this time, actually, several times.

While we have a TMI female sex thread up… I’ll ask… :smack: is there any way to clean the junk out of there? I try to wipe really well, but it kinda oozes out slowly.
[/QUOTE]

Alright girl! You have now experienced the biological objective of the female orgasm. The purpose of those lovely contractions is to dip the cervix into the pool of semen deposited at the end of the vagina. What does the cervix do next? Shuts like a trap door, keeping the semen in the uterus for as much time as necessary to fertilize an egg. After sufficient time has passed, the cervix will open back up and let the foreigners out the way they came in. Is it messy? Yes. Is it a tad uncomfortable? Yes. Is it worth the trouble? Oh, yessssss.

Of course, you don’t have to be fertile or attempting to conceive in order to enjoy the perks- and remember to take precautions if you want to avoid pregnancy.

Now carry on with your research. The rest of us girls will crack open the champagne, and honor your induction into the club.

Cheers!

42

[QUOTE=Ludy]
I am just popping in to say that I agree with the vibrator statements, and to just relax.

The best ones for me make my teeth tingle. :smiley:
[/QUOTE]

Well stop using it to brush your teeth.

OK I’m going

43

[QUOTE=dahfisheroo]
tdn, no contractions, no orgasm. It might be great sex for her, but no orgasms.
[/QUOTE]

I beg to differ.

I should clarify by saying that parts of her body contracted, but her vaginal walls didn’t. But they were very definitely orgasms. No mistaking them.

44

Heh. Unless they were of the <EM>When Harry Met Sally</em> variety of ‘orgasm’.

As a funny aside, once I was playing on the multiplayer text game called ‘Shangrila’, which is mostly sex-themed, and I got myself into the most pathetic scene I can ever remember playing. This guy was writing all my reactions for me, making assumptions about how wonderful it was, and generally powering his way through what was probably a one-handed bit of play. It was awful and I wanted to simply disconnect from the game, but couldn’t bring myself to do it. Finally I got a word in edgewise - wrote a non-screaming sort of orgasm. And what he wrote next went like this:

‘X knows that when a woman makes that kind of noise, she’s either come, or she just wants the man to get done already.’
GEE, YA THINK??

Honestly, I’m sure it’s possible to orgasm without pulsing of the vaginal walls, but I suppose some women also do a very convincing fake. I’ve never seen the point myself - an honest, “It’s not going to happen today, maybe next time” seems to be perfectly good choice.

45

Can someone give **tdn **a dollar? Poor dear needs to buy himself a clue. :smiley:

No one’s saying she didn’t like it. She may have. It may have been wonderful and fantastic and the best time she’s had in bed ever. She may have enjoyed it far more than one of those pop-fizzle-damn-its-gone orgasms we’ve been talking about.

Orgasm does not inherently mean better or more valuable. But it is a clinical, scientific term with a clinical, scientific definition that most assuredly includes muscle contractions.

46

[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Can someone give **tdn **a dollar? Poor dear needs to buy himself a clue. :smiley:
[/QUOTE]

Honey bunny, I’ve got a clue. But I’ll take your money anyway.

They’re real. If you don’t want to believe that, that’s your own business.

47

Beaucarnea–thanks for the explanation. That goes a long way in explaining the “delayed mess response”. And, yes, we’re taking plenty of precautions.

Actually, let me do a little editorializing here. I & my partner were both quite old virgins, past the age where it’d be considered strange. (That thread a few months ago on when-virginity-becomes-weird was sooooooo depressing!) We had opportunities, but we never followed through on them. Actually, to the point where I thought I was asexual for some years… I never really was into my other boyfriends. I’d never orgasmed either, not due to the lack of trying.

It blows my mind that I am a sexual creature, with a gift to easily orgasm during vaginal intercourse (not all that common as I understand). And I’m sure it blows his mind, too–he is not so different than me.

I am by no means advocating the path I took as the best one–merely a viable one out of many. Listen to yourself. Do not give in into society’s, pop culture’s, or your SO’s pressures. (If you’re not into your SO, dumping your SO is probably a good idea, actually, but you’ll probably realize that only in retrospect.)

We are of at an age where we accept that we’re never returning to our youthful bodies. We accept imperfections in ourselves and each other. We are wise enough to be well protected, but also at the same time old enough such that having a baby out of wedlock won’t be the worst thing in the world. We love each other more than life itself… we may not be together forever, but at the moment, we -are- right for each other. These all factors contributed to an incredible, enjoyable, relaxed, and mindblowing “first time”.

So. Virgin dopers, especially those that consider themselves “frigid”, don’t get pressured into something you don’t really want to do, but also don’t despair and especially don’t give up on looking.

gets off soapbox

Thank you so very much for helping out an undercover chicken and embarassed Doperette, Doper sisters!

48

[QUOTE=tdn]
Honey bunny, I’ve got a clue. But I’ll take your money anyway.

They’re real. If you don’t want to believe that, that’s your own business.
[/QUOTE]

Sincerely:

In light of the whole When Harry Met Sally thing, and **WhyNot’s ** comment that she thought for years she’d been having orgasms, but hadn’t…and given that women who do orgasm and know what it feels like, still may not always know when they’ve had one (“Gee, honey, I’m not sure, I guess so”)…

How can a man be certain whether a woman has reached orgasm? If the woman herself may not even know? In the absence of physiologically-defining muscular contractions? How can a man know, except to take the woman’s word for it? And she may herself be genuinely mistaken (or faking it?)

That’s a serious question, and not an attack on tdn.

Now, there are men on the foreskin-restoration mailing list I’m on, who claim they now have multiple orgasms without physical ejaculation, which they never had before, and there is no physical evidence of this pleasure - only their own report. So I’ll give the benefit of the doubt to tdn’s girlfriend. I just wonder how someone not inside a person’s skin is supposed to know what really goes on?

49

[QUOTE=Chotii]
How can a man be certain whether a woman has reached orgasm? If the woman herself may not even know? In the absence of physiologically-defining muscular contractions? How can a man know, except to take the woman’s word for it? And she may herself be genuinely mistaken (or faking it?)

That’s a serious question, and not an attack on tdn.
[/QUOTE]

Thank you for not attacking me. I always look forward to that. :wink:

Can I produce absolute physical evidence that will satisfy all of you? No, but thankfully I’m not on trial here. But the evidence I’ve seen certainly points to Big O conclusions. Now if she were 20 and inexperienced, I might see how she wouldn’t know better, but that’s not the case. And she is philosophically opposed to faking it. And her response is, in every other way, consistant with that of every other woman I’ve been with.

The only conclusion I can reach is that not every woman is exactly identical.

And even if it’s not the O, it’s a real, repeatable, countable, pleasurable event that keeps her coming back for more. If she wants to call it an orgasm, I’m not going to argue with her.

50

[QUOTE=TooEmbarassed]
Beaucarnea–thanks for the explanation. That goes a long way in explaining the “delayed mess response”. And, yes, we’re taking plenty of precautions.

Actually, let me do a little editorializing here. I & my partner were both quite old virgins, past the age where it’d be considered strange. (That thread a few months ago on when-virginity-becomes-weird was sooooooo depressing!) We had opportunities, but we never followed through on them. Actually, to the point where I thought I was asexual for some years… I never really was into my other boyfriends. I’d never orgasmed either, not due to the lack of trying.

It blows my mind that I am a sexual creature, with a gift to easily orgasm during vaginal intercourse (not all that common as I understand). And I’m sure it blows his mind, too–he is not so different than me.

I am by no means advocating the path I took as the best one–merely a viable one out of many. Listen to yourself. Do not give in into society’s, pop culture’s, or your SO’s pressures. (If you’re not into your SO, dumping your SO is probably a good idea, actually, but you’ll probably realize that only in retrospect.)

We are of at an age where we accept that we’re never returning to our youthful bodies. We accept imperfections in ourselves and each other. We are wise enough to be well protected, but also at the same time old enough such that having a baby out of wedlock won’t be the worst thing in the world. We love each other more than life itself… we may not be together forever, but at the moment, we -are- right for each other. These all factors contributed to an incredible, enjoyable, relaxed, and mindblowing “first time”.

So. Virgin dopers, especially those that consider themselves “frigid”, don’t get pressured into something you don’t really want to do, but also don’t despair and especially don’t give up on looking.

gets off soapbox

Thank you so very much for helping out an undercover chicken and embarassed Doperette, Doper sisters!
[/QUOTE]

TE, I don’t have anything to add to your post, I just wanted to reply in order to see it repeated. What you have shared is the sweetest and most sincere revelation about sexuality. Women of every age and orientation should be so lucky to arrive at such a healthy outlook on sex. You are a very smart and self assured woman, please join the board as a member- I look forward to your future contributions and opinions.

51

[QUOTE=Chotii]
Heh. Unless they were of the <EM>When Harry Met Sally</em> variety of ‘orgasm’.
[/QUOTE]

You mean you can only orgasm with Rob Reiner watching you ?

God. That’s really out there. :smiley:

Male-type checking in here. In all seriousness, this is what I love about the Dope. A caring genteel mix of real advice, good anecdotes and humor. Might I respectfully suggest that to get a very very wide array of descriptions of what does or does not work for a very wide variety of women, our new friend tooembarassed might want to hit Amazon up for a used copy of The Hite Report on Female Sexuality ? It’s about as far from a dry read as you can imagine. :wink:

I found it in the used bookstore when I was 14. One tends to remember the important reads in life. ( One also remembers the kindly used bookstore owner who was happy to sell me this book, at age 14 !! ) You will learn a lot about what works, doesn’t work, might be worth a shot. It’s like having hundreds of Dopers chiming in, all in a nice pocket-bound edition. ( The questionnaires were anonymous ).

At 44, I will readily admit that my sense of arousal curve is all about keeping the floodgates at bay. Timing is everything. Why do I wish for the prostate I had at 15 and the physique I had at 17 ? :dubious: I envy Sting, who is not only married to a drop-dead gorgous woman but who has also apparently plumbed the depths of Keeping Things On The Edge to a degree I’d not thought possible.

Assuming he and Trudy aren’t lying, that is…

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