-Let’s say a woman is 21…and a virgin. How much does it hurt? I need to know.
I’m the dude…give me some advice. It’s VERY crucial that I DON’T put her off the idea forever, but she’s pretty clueless. She actually asked me if ‘woman can die from the pain?’ I don’t think so, but that Japanese AV is giving the women in this country strange ideas…
-I’m big. Not crazy big…but in direct relation to my size (US shoe 13, 190cm tall) I’m really worried about this. I’ve never cracked open a cold one before…
I’m not a woman, so I can’t really help you. But I would have her remember that the whole point is that it feels good. That’s why nearly everyone wants to do it often.
Sure, it may hurt a little the first time (or for some women, it hurts a little every time)…but it can’t be too bad, or no one would ever have sex a second time.
In many cases the hymen has already broken from living life so there may be no pain.
Yeah, I can see she’ll be in for a good and gentle time when you’re considering it “crack(ing) open a cold one.” :rolleyes:
I’m trying for a little humor in a bad situation. The majority of the women in my life have had more bed mates than I did…or at least AS many.
Is this the same girl you’ve complained is naive and isn’t a great intellectual match for you?
Are you going to marry her? You are not in America. In small town China, college women usually expect to have one boyfriend, and unless something cataclysmic goes wrong, they expect to marry that man. As you know, women are also expect to get married around 25 or so, and if they don’t they quickly run the risk of being unable to marry or only able to marry very undesirable men.
If you are not planning to marry her, you are wasting her very valuable time and lowering her value on the marriage market. You are vastly more experienced than her, and owe her the courtesy of not making a massive impact on her life that you’re not going to follow up on.
I think the “bad” part of the situation is that from what you say, your 21-year-old girlfriend seems to be about as mature as a 14-year-old, with less than half the knowledge.
Sex doesn’t have to be penetrative. Maybe wait until she decides it does.
Dear Internet:
a) I am having sex, like for real.
b) I have a large penis.
No you see…I’m kind of stumped. What I need is a list of women who say exactly how much it hurts…a razor scrape? a paper cut? a 3rd degree burn? a quick dip in a deep fat fry? Suggestions on what went wrong? how to make it better? should she be drunk? sober? buzzed? a certain time of day? I don’t know…regular internet research has been terrible…seriously type my question into google and you’ll go blind by the stupidity. It’s not like I can ask my mom or sister…?
Lots of foreplay, lube if necessary, take it slowly - let her set the pace, and everything should be just fine. Really.
You may go blind, but it may be from another cause.
smear galric sauce on your junk
…and this will help you and your girlfriend how, exactly?
In case you’ve never noticed, raskolnik, sex and all its experiences are different for everybody.
I don’t quite understand what you’re looking for here.
objectivity
I have deflowered two virgins (woof 
). The first one also my first time and it went about as well as can be expected and from what I can tell, it hurt her (I also discovered that bra straps are the creation of the devil). The second time was a few years later and this time I was very careful and gentle. She did’nt react nearly as much, or at least she did not try to pull my hair out.
I’ve heard that if you apply BenGay to your penis beforehand, she honestly will not feel any pain that night.
Yeah. But it’s all subjective.
Be kind, be gentle, be loving and be prepared for her to cling to you as long as you will permit her to.
What even sven said x100.
It’s mighty likely that she will have expectations of marriage (if she doesn’t already) should you consumate your love.
There are over half a billion women in China. Surely you can find one that’s a better match for you even up near the Russian border.
There is no objective measure of how much it hurts a woman to lose their virginity. For some it is almost nothing, for some it is extremely painful. Being tense generally makes it more painful than it would be under more “optimal” conditions.
FYI, Devirginizing someone for whom that would be a culturally disasterous change in status is an extemely dickish thing to do.
What the hell does this mean???