You’re certainly not demonstrating that skill here.
When you make online dating profiles, do you include the term “love to laugh” or anything about having a great sense of humor? Because that’s always such an original and wickedly funny line that attracts womens.
No I just put sense of humor.
I just hope I don’t get “it was a pleasure meeting you” text tonight from the date I had lol
Oh. LOL.
:rolleyes:
Then your path is clear, grasshopper.
One thing I can think of- ask her what she thinks of women who go around dressed like whores.
That keeps her mind on sex, yet, she will know that you look favorably upon respectable women.
Find out what she likes to talk about (she will probably tell you, unasked), and be a good listener.
The only thing that made me feel the girl I was on a date with tonight was interested in seeing me again was our discussion about me traveling to her area on the train and then her saying…“When you found out let me know”
That was after I told her I was sure that a train went to her area from where I live
I haven’t sent a text or anything since the date ended because I am 0-2 in sent text messages after 1st dates in 2014
Text her anyway - it’s worth the risk.
If you read her correctly, and she likes you, she’ll respond.
If she doesn’t respond, respect that, meaning - delete her number and never contact her again.
Double entendres can work. However, delivery is everything, and the proper delivery depends on the signals you get from her, so it’s not easy. Also, canned ones do NOT work, only ones that spring up unexpectedly.
The most important thing is to respond to her, and appreciate it when she responds to you. It’s a feedback cycle, and it can go in any number of directions, but when it gets going, it’s a real thrill. It can take a while to develop too (especially for those of us who aren’t Lotharios), so patience is appropriate. I’m talking about any subject here; this is not code for flirting, but it includes flirting.
I think the key is to be willing to see where things go, and let things go there, rather than to try to steer it. Of course, you have to be creative enough to try different things to get the ball rolling.
Avoid generalizing until you have 100’s of cases to draw from. Really. Even then, don’t believe your generalizations, just treat them as rules of thumb. Everyone is different, and a lot of people are unusual! That sounds like a contradiction, but it’s not.
Nervous isn’t necessarily a good or bad sign. It’s best if you can dispel nervousness … well, usually. The others do seem like good signs. #1 indicates that you were hesitant. Ideally, you read her body language and know whether to go for the hug, but it might be better to be hesitant if you really don’t know what the score is. The fact that she dealt with your hesitance well is a good sign!
I was a very slow starter and lacked confidence, and had a hard time “making the switch” between casual conversation and romance. It is a difficult thing to learn! Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, and don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself if you do make a mistake. Don’t take it too seriously, and don’t take yourself too seriously.
Regarding texting – I’m out of the loop far too long now and perhaps that’s what people do, but my instinct would be to call and say what a great time and just chat for a very short while (unless you get clear signals she wants to keep chatting). But I suppose texting has the benefit that it’s easier for the recipient to ignore if they want, so perhaps it’s more polite.
But I agree with those who say yes, text. Yes, text. If they don’t text back, let it go.
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I hope this was intended as a joke, even though I don’t get it. Don’t follow this advice.
Bingo. With a caveat. If she expressed specific interests in something and you have a chance to pass something of interest on, do it, as a friend, as a kindness. But don’t keep doing this without specifically encouraging responses.
Oops, left out an important lesson I learned as a slow-starter. When a woman wants to be kissed, she’ll almost always make it very easy for you to do so. If you have to do any kind of juggling or positioning to get into the spot where you can kiss her, it’s usually a pretty good sign that she’s not interested.
The best you can do is to make it easy for her to do that.
My approach has always been simple, and I’m a pretty average looking guy (bald, in fact), not rich (although always had a decent and interesting job), and am generally a little on the introverted side (more like an ambivert, to be true, although I do well in small group and one-on-one situations.)
I just go into the date like meeting any other person for the first time.
The last four first dates I went on (all in the period of one month, and one ended up becoming my wife) I got follow-up dates with. This isn’t some calculated approach, but a natural one for me: I’ve read their profiles, figured out some points of conversation or interest (or else why would I have contacted them in the first place), and then started talking a lot about them, what they do, their interests, my shared interests, etc., with sincere enthusiasm. I like learning about people and hearing their life stories/perspectives/etc., so this isn’t difficult for me to do. And then, of course, interject some interesting stories or stuff about yourself, so it’s not completely one-sided. A good first date should also be curious about you and your interests, so it shouldn’t be too hard to do, but make sure you’re not stuck completely talking about yourself. Ideally, it will be 50-50, but I tend to err on the side of my date doing most of the talking. People generally like talking about themselves, and they have favorable opinions of people who let them do so with genuine interest and curiosity. But the sincerety is important. You can’t be approaching this as if it’s a game, no matter what those “male player groups/score with a woman in 5 easy steps” types say (I’m forgetting the name of these groups–oh, yeah, “pick up artists.”)
As for actively flirting, I don’t know how to describe it. I usually cue off the date, or might insert a nice compliment about something safe (like her clothes or something about how she handled a situation in a story she’s recalling to me), and just go from there. I’m not a “you have such beautiful eyes” type of flirter. I keep it cool, calm, and casual, especially with an Internet date. You don’t want to come off as creepy. And I don’t worry about the first kiss. I simply don’t go in for a kiss on a first date (except maybe in an exceptional circumstance, but I can’t think of it.) For me, the first date is still “getting to know you” kind of stuff, and I don’t need to add the pressure of “do I kiss her? Don’t I kiss her?” In my experience, a date is not going to leave thinking you’re completely not interested in her if you don’t kiss her at the end of the first date. After a second, succesful date, she might. (I waited to the third with my wife.)
That’s my approach. It works for me, it’s low-stress, and it works in any general meeting someone for the first time situation, whether it be somebody not of your preferred gender at a party (minus the kiss part), or with a romantic interest.
YMMV. You have to find what works for you.
but I was told that complimenting is not flirting so now I am really confused
Why are you being such a dick to this guy?
Because he is objectifying women, and variants of his question are common, and boring as shit.
I’m a woman; does that still make me a dick? 
No, talk mostly about me, chicks really dig that. I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I drink Dos Equis.
Yeah, it’s confusing. But that doesn’t matter.
What matters is that you repeatedly throw yourself out there, talk to lots of different women, respect it when they say “no” and/or don’t respond, and keep at it. There’s no guarantee you’ll find someone you click with, but there’s a chance, at least - and it’s a chance worth taking.
well the girl I went on a date with last night responded to the text I sent this morning so I guess that gives me the green light to call
I will do that tomorrow or Tuesday
Well one thing about flirting, IMHO, is that it’s what you do before a date. Flirting is for people just getting to know each other, feeling each other out (figuratively), and liking what they feel. Once you’re on a date, you’re in the “getting to know you” zone, which is a different kind of conversation (although it might include flirting). In other words, flirting is a situational occurrence.
Are you clear on what flirting is? This is the first hit on a Google search: **1. behave as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions. ** The funnest flirting I have done was with women I have no intention/possibility of ever dating. There’s no pressure to ever take it further, and flirting can be fun and is its own reward.
Just curious – what country/culture are you from?
This, definitely. It takes time to find someone you click with. Often, it may even take a series of mistakes before you get there. Think about flirting in simpler terms at first. Make eye contact and smile. There are ways to do so that send a clear message of attraction. Some people are better at reading body language than others. I’m good at picking up cues and giving them, but I’ve had a lifetime of practice. I think I started flirting by age eight. It was sweet innocent back then, but just as fun. Start paying attention to social cues, and have fun with flirting whether you’re on the receiving or giving end. Once you find someone, don’t forget that flirting with your girlfriend can continue to be sexy and exciting. I’m probably getting a bit ahead of things, but someday you’ll see what I mean. And be patient…
It can be. Depends on how you do it. But I don’t worry about consciously flirting. If I’m interested in someone, it will show through in my enthusiasm. I’ve never thought of myself as a flirter, but my enthusiasm and interest in people has been construed as flirting, whether I was meaning to do so or not,