Slightly over two years ago, my boyfriend and I (I’m a gay man) decided to pack up and move from Virginia to California. It was a bold move on out part and I don’t regret it. I was somewhat reluctant to move because I’d be leaving behind some good friends. However, I’ve since made some great friends in San Francisco.
Fast forward to October 2006. My boyfriend of three years announces that he wants to break-up so he can “discover” himself. I decided that it was probably for the best that I move out. So, I found a nice place to live and have the best roommate ever.
I was actually looking forward to being on my own and dating new people, etc. I though that I’d date a few guys and then meet the “man of my dreams” and fall madly in love. It’s now 10 months later and I haven’t even come close to meeting anyone of substance. At first, I would go out to the bars in the Castro and meet guys, but I quickly found out that meeting a “soul-mate” in a bar was NOT going to happen…however I did manage to get a LOT of attention . I then tried online sources, with very little success. I joined a gay social club that meets every two weeks for dinner and conversation. I have met a lot of guys but they all have one thing in common….they want sex and after they get that (or not), they move on. It seems that no one is looking for anything, other than casual sex. I think San Francisco (and probably every other city) has a very “I want it NOW” attitude. I’m at wits end.
How does one date? I see a lot of gay couples in the city and know that it is possible to find a soul-mate, but I want to know how. Some of my friends suggest that a good place to find a soul-mate is church, but I’m not into religion at all and don’t particularly want a boyfriend that is.
I am fairly new to the dating scene, since I’ve spent all of my adult life in 3 monogamous relationships (7 years, 13 years and 3 years).
Do any of my fellow dopers have suggestions on what I can do to find a substantial man to date? I know that I’m a catch, I’m attractive, have a decent job and have no illegal vices. I’ve been told by so many people that I’m a brilliant conversationalist and a lot of fun to be around.