I dunno, Dangerosa seems to have problems with men as a gender, from her other posts. Not the only one here and nowhere near like ZPG Zealot but certainly something that has struck me.
I never knew you are agoraphobic. I do know you’re a self-important, bloviating asshole though.
The Pit is a safety valve— but then, so is an anal sphincter.
I noticed that too. It was a post, I think around a year ago, where she said something to the effect that raising a son didn’t make her any more sympathetic or understanding of boy’s issues/plights, but that raising a daughter made her more acutely aware of and vested in girl’s issues/plights yet.
I think that’s what BigT is trying to do: get the thread closed. And I hope the mods don’t give into him.
I thought fomenting a board war was against the rules, anyway. I know that wasn’t Sarahfeena’s intent in starting this thread.
So, I’m at work and everyone is wondering why I’m laughing. I’m not even going to try explaining.
You are right on both counts. BigT or anyone else who wants to comment on my motives is free to do so, but I’ve stated what they are and that’s all I’m going to say about it. I have not been a regular around here for a while (raising my own kids who have their own issues), but I’m a long-standing poster who at one time was very active and who certainly does not have a reputation as a shit-stirrer. Anyone who uses my OP to create drama is the one who is causing the problem, not me.
It’s an intervention of sorts. Not a flaming, but a wake up call.
[Moderating]
Alright, that’s enough. If you’ve got someone you want to say about the posters on the Giraffe Board, say it over there. Leave it off the SDMB.
That goes for everyone else, too. Let’s keep this conversation to things that have happened on this board, not on other boards.
[/Moderating]
Exactly.
As Sarahfeena has said, my comments were not intended to attack anyone or anything. I too am a long time member, and used to post here far more often, but have been dealing with my own pretty serious health issues as well as work issues and just haven’t had the time. All I was saying is that Dangerosa may be unaware of how her comments APPEAR to others. Not that it’s the case, not that she’s done anything wrong - just that she’s creating that impression in people.
…which comments are you talking about? We’ve had four pages so far, and no-one has shown what they find problematic. Can you be specific and point out which comments you are talking about, and how they APPEAR to you?
There is a group of snarkers who rip BigT at every opportunity. They are simply a bunch of bullies who have nothing better to do with their lives. He doesn’t deserve the crap they give him. There are much better targets than him. But BigT is an easy target: which is why they go after him. As for why they are targeting Dangerosa: I think BigT has got it right. But as per the recent moderation: I don’t think we are allowed to talk about that any more.
You are MORE than welcome to try to find an example of me snarking BigT either here or anywhere else. You won’t find one. Don’t think I’ve ever said anything about Dangerosa before this, either. It’s possible that I’ve questioned this tendency of hers in the past, but I don’t think so. So, whatever, as I said you can question my motives but you’ll likely be wrong in any of your assumptions so I wouldn’t bother.
…thank you for choosing to respond.
Now are you going to finally choose to show us some examples of the posts you find problematic?
Sure, Green Bean posted this link. One thing you have to understand that it’s a pattern that you can’t necessarily glean from just one post out of context.
The entire thread deals with the fact that she fights tooth and nail with the school to defend her daughter’s personal style against the school dress code, but punishes her son for his personal style because one of them aligns with her “values” and the other doesn’t. You have to read it through…posting one or two quotes doesn’t paint a the picture that some of us have.
But one quote in particular really highlights the dispassionate way she tends to speak about her son and his place in the family:
There are several issues I see in this post:
- yet another reference to the fact that he’s adopted and in many ways doesn’t fit into their family
- listing his interests and accomplishments as if they are nothing much to be excited about because they aren’t things she’s interested in (like, this is weird to me, aren’t most people excited if their children have a natural talent? I mean music and athletics…I would be tickled pink if one of my kids had such a talent, and I’m neither musician nor athlete. My younger one is great at chess, which I have zero interest in myself. Still think it’s awesome that he loves it and is good at it and I go to all his tournaments and brag about it. When she says not bad or good, just different…how is it NOT good that he has musical and athletic talent? It’s a bizarre characterization of her child, and I’m saying that as a parent.)
- stating that he doesn’t share her “values,” which somehow has to do with how he expresses himself with his clothing. I actually think it has to do with being into the urban/hip-hop culture and being a bit of a stoner which…yeah as far as that last part goes I wouldn’t be thrilled as a parent either, but it isn’t necessarily something that should make a parent lose respect for a person who after all is still a child, nor displace him from the family.
…I think don’t ask has already said it best:
Are you really pitting Dangerosa over the way she phrased something in 2014? You don’t have anything more recent that you found problematic? If this is a pattern: why did someone else have to provide you with the cite?
This all looks incredibly petty. Its been nearly three years since that post. People don’t have an obligation to share every aspect of their personal lives here. We’ve all fucked up in our lives. We all struggle through life: we all make decisions that may or may not be the right one. I don’t judge people based on a few paragraphs on a messageboard. You’ve claimed Dangerosa has “shared her son’s troubles” many many times on this board. If that were true, then you wouldn’t have any trouble coming up with more examples than a single thread from nearly three years ago.
Whatever, you don’t have to let it concern you if you don’t want it to. I’m asking Dangerosa if she knows she does this, and asking her why. I’m not the only one who has noticed this as a pattern, but I haven’t been stockpiling examples as I never thought I would get to this point of asking her in a pit thread. The original post of Green Bean’s addresses a more recent example, which spurred all of this. So, it’s not just one from 2014, it’s as I said a pattern of comments…often small…that add up to a bigger picture. I can’t possibly paint it for you but it’s something many of us have noticed.
…you haven’t shown a pattern of comments. If it existed you could point to some examples. I simply don’t believe you. I’ve asked several other people to show me this pattern in this thread and they can’t show anything either. You started this pit thread. Don’t give me the excuse that you can’t show a fucking pattern because its too fucking hard. You started this pile-on. Take ownership of it.
This was the comment that prompted Green Bean’s question in the other thread:
Why the fuck would this comment prompt Green Bean to ask about Dangerosa’s son? It wasn’t fawning praise of her daughter. It wasn’t a condemnation of her son. This doesn’t fit your pattern of “sharing his troubles many many times” that you claim in the OP. She only commented on it when she was asked about it.
You aren’t asking Dangerosa a question. You’ve pitted her. She isn’t going to respond to you here. There isn’t enough nuance in the world to be able to respond properly to incredibly personal questions in an environment like the pit. If you really cared you would have ignored the moderators suggestions to open a pit thread and taken it to PM’s instead. But I don’t think you actually care at all.
Just because you don’t see a pattern doesn’t mean it’s not there.