Actually, I do have a bit of Polish ancestry, so I feel no qualms about telling you this. How to take a Pole: first, you get him so liquored up that he passes out. When he comes to, tell him how great a lover he was. Then, five years later, call him out of the blue to announce that you’re pregnant and he’s the father. Watch the child support payments roll in.
I’m so sorry.
Well, if you’re a dinosaur, like this:
http://www.straightdope.com/columns/001006.html
There you go, Euty. Now you can put it in CCC.
DNFTT - or has everyone forgotten about quality control?
How do you have sex?
OK, let me run ya through it:
- Get fiancee drunk
- Go back home
- Hi Opal (I just learned about this custom… am I wrong to do it?)
- begin to watch TV (make sure it’s nothing too interesting)
- kiss fiancee
- lick fiancee’s ear (YMMV)
- continue to lick ear (YMMV)
- grope appropriate areas of fiancee’s body
- fend off slaps, ignore curses
- wait a few minutes
- lick ear again
- give up on the “seduction” method, beg and plead
- get naked (if step 12 is successful)
- attempt to get fiancee naked
- fend off slaps, ignore curses
- continue to attempt to get fiancee naked (until successful)
- lick ear again (YMMV)
- explain how much you love fiancee
- see 18
- see 18
- see 17
- explain that sperm are continually produced in the male testicles, and if not relieved, testicles may explode
- explain how masturbation does NOT do the trick with regards to sperm expenditure
- lick ear (YMMV)
- beg and plead again
- comment on how painful it would be were testicles to explode, and question who’s fault that might be
- lick ear again
- conceed that it IS, in fact, late… and fiancee should be going home
- lick ear one last time, hoping…
- get dressed, see fiancee to a taxi
- surf porn!
That’s how it’s done here!! Hope that helps! 
Due to the plethora of ambiguities in the question, I can only say:
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