Yesterday my next door neighbor passed away. She had been in poor health since the death of her husband a couple of years ago, and had been living with one of her sons. During the time since his father’s death, I have become friendly with the son, to a limited degree. Although they had always been friendly and cordial, a language barrier had always prevented meaningful conversation with the old couple, but we liked each other just fine, as far as it went.
So yesterday afternoon, when I went to knock on Sammy’s door to ask him about something, the door was open and Sammy’s brother came to the doorway. I could tell immediately that I was interrupting something, so I inquired if everything was all right. that was when he told me that their mother had died. We spoke for a few moments, and I asked about the plans for the memorial service. He told me that it is to be held this afternoon in a the mosque at a local memorial park, and seemed appreciative when I told him that kaylasmom and I would attend.
So, now I’m needing to find out what kinds of behavior will be expected of us at the service. Will kaylasmom need to have a head covering? Will we need to be segregated by gender? That sort of thing.
Thanks in advance for any assistance.
Mods, if you think this might get more timely response in MPSIMS, please feel free to move it.
I visited several mosques as a tourist in Cairo. In one, they gave my wife a complete robe including hood; I suppose just in case some tourists had bare shoulders or other inappropriate clothing. (She didn’t). The let us both wander eerywhere, but there wa a partition down the middlebetween us and the women’s area.
In another, they just gave her a scarf.
In a third, there was a completely separate set of rooms for the women; the only place where the men and women could see each other was a side room with shoulder-high partition between the mens and womens areas, so they could both see the mausoleum where the Prophet’s grandson is buried. (funny thing, nobody at the women’s entrance stopped her and made her wear head covering…)
In all cases, shoes off at the door.
So, answer is, YMMV depending on the local custom and the strictness of the rules.
Shoes are considered dirty, in a land of livestock, sand, and thick dust. Hence, the Iraqi journalist throwing his shoes at GW Bush was a bigger insult in the middle east than just heaving some random object at him.
In a mosque you bow right down and put your face on the ground, into the carpet, 5 times a day. Clean is important.
I will add to “shoes off at the door”, modest clothing, no low-cut tops, bare shoulders or short (knee length) skirts for women. Your wife should take some sort of scarf to cover her hair, she may not need it, but better to be safe than sorry. Hope that helps.
Although I missed the window to help kaylasdad99, I will share my experience with this. My wife’s family is Muslim and I went to her stepfather’s funeral several years ago. I have also attended a couple of visitations at the families’ homes.
Aside from the funeral service itself, there is generally a period of very solemn mourning. There is usually a visitation at the family’s home where an imam will recite Koran readings.
At the mosque there will be a service. Men and women are separated. All are expected to remove their shoes and be modestly dressed (long pants for men, shoulders and legs covered for women), and women are expected to have their heads covered. There will be a prayer service. If you are not Muslim then I suppose you could stand at the rear of the group and not participate. Muslim prayer is more ritualized than any Christian church service I have been to, and the prayers are in Arabic, so it’s not really possible to just wing it. (In a Christian service you generally just turn to the page indicated and read it, and follow the priest’s cue for when to stand or in some cases kneel.) I converted to Islam and stood with the men but did not know the prayers or accompanying postures so I just cribbed from the guy standing next to me.