Questions for men and their thoughts about women

In My Humble Opinion
1

More questions for the guys in my endless quest to understand the way men think.

  1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

  2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

  3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

  4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

  5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

  6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

  7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?

  8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?

  9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

  10. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

This list of questions comes from conversations I’ve had with some of my friends, Their husbands don’t really feel comfortable being asked these things and make don’t take the questions seriously. So, we ask for your opinions.

Thanks in advance.

2

  1. I listen because I may be able to provide a solution, and at the least, listening is a good thing. And more times than I wish were the case, I am the source of the problem, in which case listening can help me correct my malfunction.

  2. I enjoy lingerie a lot and find it a wonderful turn on. I also find sweats to be a turn on. Generally, I find my wife hot no matter what she wears and want to rip everything off of her.

  3. I’ve been with my wife for something like 11 years now and I still get excited at the end of my work day because I know I get to go home and see her.

  4. When I was using a twin blade, I didn’t mind at all. We used each others razors quite often. Now I’ve gone back to a basic double edged safety razor (no matter what anyone says about Mach 3, the only thing closer is a straight razor) we pretty much stick to using our own.

  5. Yes, that is my reaction because on the rare days when she is in a bad mood, that is the reason.

  6. I enjoy her initiating it quite a bit.

  7. I prefer the housework to be an even split, but I’d say I probably do 70% at least. But as long as she wears lingerie once in a while, she gets away with being lazy.

  8. It depends on the individual. Some tomboys are sexy and very cool. Some girly-girls are nasty people.

  9. Independance is sexy. Needy people are annoying.

  10. Not very important at all, but I love it when I get it. I don’t expect to get it most times, so there’s no self-esteem problems. Whatever she does, I like.

3

If the guy cares about his SO he should. If a guy is not concerned about his lady’s problems, then its not a healthy relationship.

Lingerie is always good. For some reason it drives me crazy when my SO wears one of my t-shirts. Her smell is on it when you get it back :stuck_out_tongue:

Not really, but thats not a bad thing. Instead its replaced by the happiness of knowing you are in a stable long term relationship.

ummm no

No, I assume bad day, or broke a nail d&r::::::

It usually ends up feeling pretty good :wink:

It should be split evenly between everyone who lives in the house.

I dont, each person should be judged individually

I guess thats a matter of taste, I personally like a strong independant woman myself, and am not threatened by it in the least.

I’ve been in both situations, and I couldnt care eaither way. Its certainly not a breaking point and shouldnt be, I would say its more of an added bonus, but one easily lived without.

Hope this helps a bit.

4

1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

Mostly I try and suggest ways to fix them. I’ve gathered over a few years that while sometimes this is ok, sometimes she just wants me to listen. What I haven’t figured out yet is how to tell the difference. I only feel responsible for problems if I am responsible (i.e. I’m the cause).

2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

She looks good in either, but I’m probably more inclined to rip off something racy rather than ‘I went to X and all I got was this lousy T-shirt’…

3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

Honestly? Not every day. But definitely sometimes. If either of us has been away without the other, there’s generally a ‘moment’, if you will.

4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

N/A; I have a shortish beard so don’t shave much. We have our own shavers and stuff.

5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

Pretty much N/A, since she doesn’t seem to suffer from it. Plus the fact that she has to have one of the sunniest dispositions of anyone I’ve ever met. (Sorry, passed on two now).

6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

I don’t mind.

7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?

Hmm. I feel it should be split evenly, but in reality she does more. It’s no defence that she works shorter hours, but sometimes I try and rationalise it that way. That said, I’m landscaping the garden, a job she’d prefer not to get involved in (see? justifying my laziness again. Sheesh). I’d guess I do about 30%.

8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?

Don’t mind at all. A good mutual friend of myself and my SO is a very tomboyish girl from Northern Ireland, who swears like a trooper (disclaimer; this isn’t trying to stereotype, she just does). She has no idea she’s doing it. We certainly don’t have a bad opinion of her, in fact we’re looking forward to her coming across for a short break this summer. She’s great fun.

9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

I don’t have a lot of experience, to tell you the truth. The relationship I have with my SO has pretty much shaken itself out along the lines of what’s practical for one or other of us to do, and what we prefer to do. I handle most of the finances, but that’s only because I had a house prior to meeting and we decided that we’d keep all the outgoings from one account so we know where we are. Both our accounts are joint. I suppose if I was pushed I prefer being in a partnership rather than being part of a two-independent-individuals setup.

10. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

Quite important, but only because we both like it. Be all and end all? Nope.

My $0.02

5

I’ve become quite a good listener, although it’s been a struggle. My natural guy instinct is to try and solve her problems, but I’ve learned how to just shut up and listen. I will occasionally be thinking about what she should do, but I make sure to disconnect the brain/mouth pathway while I’m doing that.

I like it every now and then. If she’s wearing it, it usually implies: a)I’m getting sum, and b)she’s in a fun mood. I wouldn’t want it every day or it would lose it’s magic.

Not always, the butterflies have turned into warm fuzzies, but every once in a while my legs still turn to jelly.

Wrong wrong wrong. If it’s a real leg-shaving emergency, I guess it would be fine. But not on a regular basis.

Nope. It’s usually, “Oh man, what did I do this time?”, but once she tells me it’s nothing I’ve done, I adjust.

Love it. Makes me feel wanted.

It’s always a split. I do my fair share and then some.

I married one. Although when she wants to, she sure purties up fine.

I likes 'em real independant. I see a relationship as a partnership. I can barely run my own life, never mind someone else’s.

I like it, but I’m okay without it. That makes the times I get it even more special.

6

After being married for 14 years, for people problems I’ve learned to just listen and not offer advice. She’s better than me at people problems, anyway. For non-people problems, if it’s broke, fix it. If it’s not broke, lemme fix it anyway.

As an occasional thing, since it shows she’s interested (as opposed to just tolerating me) - showing she’s interested is the bigger turn on than the clothes themselves, though.

Sometimes. Sometimes I get into the “ignore your spouse phase” and sometimes it’s the “we’re best friends phase” and sometimes it’s the “my heart will explode from overload phase”.

What are you nuts? Buy your own damn razor. Property rights be damned, we’re talking about the survival of my face here!

Her bad moods are like me on my best day, so the question doesn’t usually arise.

Yes! Like I said before - it’s a much bigger deal to know she’s still interested than to know she’ll “put out” on demand.

She is a homemaker, and does 90% of housework and 66% of the parenting, but I try to pick up the slack whenever she starts to overload - I try to cook and clean once or twice a week, for example.

Been surrounded by them for all my life. I have more trouble dealing with my own daughter (who is so girly-girl it makes my teeth hurt) than with tomboys.

I certainly like knowing that I bring more to the relationship than a Y chromosome! As far as independence; other than a continuing fear she’ll smarten up and dump me for a soap opera star, it doesn’t bother me.

Is it important to my self-esteem? Not really. My self-esteem is more tied up in whether or not she comes than I do (kind of like ringing the bell in one of those carnival show-your-strength things)

7

*1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ? *

Generally, I just try to listen and be understanding. I used to try and find fixes to the problems but know I know that that is often not what help. Most people just need to vent.

*2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ? *

I do like lingerie, including nice nice bras and panties. They can be an instand turn on. However, never underestimate the power of a t-shirt, jeans, and baseball cap combo. Whoa!

3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

Honestly, no ALL the time. Durring the quiet moments or when she’s busy doing something and i can just look at her…yeah, i get dem butterflies.

*4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ? *

I could care less. Mi casa y su casa.

  1. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

She’s the first to admit that this is a problem she suffers from. It is not the first thing I think of, but when it’s happening it will eventually dawn on me.

*6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance. *

It’s kool & the gang

*7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ? *

I’d rather think about it in who’s job is who’s. I will mow or cook or clean the kitchen; lets just not assume the other’s going to do it. That make any sense?

*8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ? *

I like women who are part tomboy. Like when we’re kidding around and she throws me a punch to the arm, hard. For the most part, I can do without make-up on my SO. There are occasions where it’s Ok, but for the most part leave it off.

*9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ? *

Give me a lady with independance! “Cool. How’d you build that?”, a phrase I’d love to say to my SO.

*10. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO. *

My sexuality is important to me. I enjoy sharing everything with my SO. Ideally, she’d feel the same about me. I don’t require a blowjob a week or anything like that. Don’t get me wrong, I could take one a day! It would suck (bah-dum-dum) if she hated to do it all together though. It wouldn’t mess with my self esteem, if she has a problem doing it we could talk about it. If it was an issue of hygene or safety or something she’d like me to change then i’d do it. If it was a hang-up that was all her, then that is something on her not me.

Hope that didn’t sound harsh and hope this helps!

~t

8

  1. I have learned over the years that my ideas often don’t work for her. On the other hand, she suffers from social anxiety and I can often ‘talk her down’ with problems of that nature.

  2. Lingerie, feh.

  3. 11 years. Tenderness, love, desire. But no butterflies. Wah.

  4. Incredibly wrong. But I don’t shave, and neither does she. Not a problem at our house.

  5. Not at all. Opposite, in fact. We have learned over the years that subconsiously I can ‘smell the blood’ (that’s how we refer to it). If I am going to be mean to her, it’s almost always going to be when she’s PMS’ing. She never cries unless she is PMS’ing; and by the time I figure it out, it’s too late. This happens over and over. Creepily uncanny.

  6. Not much romance in our house these days. She’s never been an initiator anyway. It’s usually my job, and I am dropping the ball right now.

  7. Housework is the only four-letter word in our house these days. Say no more.

  8. Tomboys get me really really hot. Always have. The ladies with every hair in place, make-uped and perfumed and accessorized, with their nails done and all that, can be really attractive, too. Don’t know too many. My crowd tends towards the tomboy au naturel look. I’m cool with that.

  9. More independent the better, usually. Sometimes there is an air of cool challenge about an extremely independent woman that makes me a bit uncomfortable, as gender roles mean nothing to me. Often, however, that vibe chills out once the person realizes that she need not have a chip on her shoulder around me.

  10. Not getting oral sex wouldn’t damage my self-esteem, I don’t think, but I’m not the best person to ask, as oral sex, both ways, is a big part of our sex life.

Thanks for asking, dragongirl. This was fun.

9

By ‘chip on her shoulder’, I mean that she’s not going to have to battle with my perceptions of womanhood or gender roles or anything like that, like she may have to do with other men. Not the best choice of words, sorry.

10

Yeah, I usually do think of ways to solve the problems she’s telling me about. It’s just the way I’m wired. However, I have come to realize that solutions are often not what women want when they complain, so I usually force myself to just empathize, at least at first. I don’t feel responsible for them unless I caused them.

In order: mmmmm, yes, yes, and yes. In general, I like the way my lady looks. Lingerie is nice, but lemme tell ya, the first time I saw her wearing a thin t-shirt with no bra…mmmm.

Depends on what “a long time” is. After 5 years or so, the butterflies don’t show up as much.

She’d better tell me about it so I don’t slash my neck to ribbons. Beyond that, doesn’t bother me.

First reaction, no. But the thought does occur to me.

I would greatly appreciate it. However, I would also appreciate it if, say, when she’s planning something romantic and the timing or something doesn’t work out for me, she wouldn’t take it as a harsh rejection or something.

Well, we don’t live together, but if we did I think it would be split more along “I can do X if you do Y.” For example, I hate doing dishes, she doesn’t mind it; she hates doing laundry, I have no problem with it.

Not in the least. It can be quite attractive.

Much more independent than, say, my brother’s wife. When he first married her, she didn’t even have a driver’s license, nor did she seem particularly interested in learning. To this day, she always parks in the farthest regions of the parking lot, afraid to bump into anyone.

I have no problem being “the mechanic” or “the carpenter” or “the computer guy”. It does indeed feel good to be needed, as long as you’re not needed for every little thing. Let’s say that the optimum independence level is somewhere below “so independent that she’ll go out and buy us a new car without consulting me.”

Nah, it’s not necessary every time. Heck, over New Year’s when we were at my parents’ house, I thought it would be best to abstain from oral sex, which I reckoned would be easier to overhear. The “Shh! Someone will hear us!” sex was amazing, though.

11

Ye gods! Co-optation of a woman’s orgasm! Here, on our own board! For shame!!

(okay, that may be a bit obscure and esoteric, but it had to be said, honestly.)

12

Ye gods! Co-optation of a woman’s orgasm! Here, on our own board! For shame!!

(okay, that may be a bit obscure and esoteric, but it had to be said, honestly.)

13

FTR, I’m a 22 year old guy with no current SO

1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

I am definitely a “well, let’s deal with it” kind of guy. I have a hard time sitting and listening to a bunch of problems and just saying, “oh that’s too bad.” If someone is coming to me with problems, I want to solve them. Why complain if you don’t want to deal with it? I have learned though that this is not always the kind of listener some women want and make efforts to determine if it’d be best for me to just sit and shut-up. I don’t feel at all responsible for problems that I’m not involved with.

2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

Lingerie. Eh, whatever. Not that I’ve ever really had a SO who wore lingerie, but it doesn’t add much to the situation for me. Old T-shirt might be good; un-made-upness is pretty attractive in certain situations.

3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

Nope. My longest relationship lasted 2.5 years, and… well, let me retract and say, not all the time. It happens more rarely longer into the relationship, and is directly related to how often we see eachother. If I spent a good portion of every day with her, that “butterfly” feeling sort of stops happening. Not that that means I’m not excited to see her.

4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

Hey, that’s fine by me.

5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

Nope. In fact, that probably will never enter my mind unless she said, “I’m so pissy because I’ve got PMS.” I’d like to believe that women aren’t complete victims of their hormones.

6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

It’s great. No problems there at all. I really like to do nice things for my SO (when I’ve got one), and if she were constantly initiating romantic things I might feel like I didn’t have the oportunity to initiate, and that might be a problem. But, if I were feeling that way I’d probably tell her. In general, the more the better!

7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?

Hell, I’d be a stay-at-home dad if I could. I love that kind of stuff. But, if I were married and my SO was at home all day with no kids then I’d expect her to do a bit of the house work. The only real expectation I’d have though is that I would not want to have to come home every day and clean up after her (dishes from earlier in the day, etc). That’d probably get my goat.

8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?

No problem with them. Too much profanity from anyone bothers me, but frankness and an attitude with a bit of a bite are fine. As far as make-up and “doing” her hair… if we’re going out somewhere nice then it’s great to get dolled up. On a regular basis it can be overkill.

9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

Independance is a wonderful thing. Too much dependancy can be smothering. Ideally my SO would have her own life independant from me, so she could get support and such from other people. Not that I’d want to not be a part of that life, but just so that she was not depending on me and my hobbies/interests for all of her interests, friends, etc.

10. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

Not all that important. Assuming me and my SO have a healthy physical relationship, anything she does/doesn’t want to do is probably fine with me. She doesn’t like to give me oral sex? That’s ok, as long as she tells me. I’d much rather that than have her do something she doesn’t like and not enjoy our intimate time together. If she didn’t like to give me oral sex, it wouldn’t be a self-esteem issue. If there’s open communication I don’t know why it would be.

14
15
  1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

Um, about a third of the time I’m thinking of ways to fix them, a third I’m just listening, and a third I’m not listening at all.

  1. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

Lingerie is nice. Mrs. R is not really into sexy lingerie, though.

  1. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

17 years. No butterflies, although of course I still love her very much.

  1. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

No, no, no, heck, no. Mrs. R has her own stuff.

  1. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

Oh, definitely yes. It’s strange, speaking of the monthly cycle: I can usually tell when it’s That Time, because I think about sex a lot more. Must be something chemical.

  1. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

Mrs. R never intitates sex. As far as romance goes, I feel Wanted when she does.

  1. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?

Mrs. R works full time, and although each of us feels that we do the majority of the work around the house, the reality is that the chores get split about 50-50.

  1. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?

Tomboys rock.

  1. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

Mrs. R is a capable gal who can handle anything that comes up, and that appeals to me a lot. Who wants to be saddled with some kind of helpless goof?

  1. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

This question doesn’t arise at our house.

16

  1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ? I try to think of ways to fix them, usually. Sometimes I feel responsible for their problems. Hell, several of my ex-girlfriends would say I was their problem.

  2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ? I love to see women in lingerie and damn straight it turns me on. I would not want to rip it off, but eventually I would want my lover our of it.

  3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ? Never been with a woman for a long time.

  4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ? Since I have a full beard & mustache, this is not likely to cause any problems.

  5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”? No.

  6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance. I have no objections, but, being a man, I’m usually more interested in sex than romance.

  7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ? I would cheerfully do all the cooking in exchange for a woman who would clean. I’m afraid I’m a helluva cook, but a slob.

  8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ? I like women who are so pretty they don’t need to wear much makeup. The love of my life was like that. Although, I swear like a longshoreman, I think most Americans these days, both men & women, swear too much. A little profanity adds spice to the language; too much indicates paucity of vocabulary.

  9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ? I like independent women, but I think everybody likes to feel needed.

  10. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO. Not that important because, to be honest, most of my exes weren’t that good at giving it. And, though you haven’t asked the question, I don’t mind giving oral sex; I rather like driving a woman out of her mind.

17

This topic has given me a really bad headache.

That can’t be a good thing.

18

I haven’t had a real, long-term SO since my divorce, but I’ll give what answers I can anyway.

1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

I’d always try to think of ways to fix them. And since many of her problems were caused by her following me around the country for my career, I definitely felt responsible for some of them.

2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

Give me nude any day over lingerie. Or a T-shirt.

*3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ? *

The butterflies went away a couple years into the marriage. I’ve actually only felt them for a couple women… one was the ex, the other was a woman who didn’t love me back.

*4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ? *

I usually use electric, so I’m not really worried about this. But on those occassions where I use a razor, it’d better be fresh.

*5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”? *

My first reaction is “Time to go somewhere else.”

*6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance. *

Fine by me. I’m bad at that kind of thing, so if she does it it’s great.

*7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ? *

The ex worked part-time. She did most of the housework.

*8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ? *

Don’t like 'em. I hate make-up, and I really don’t care about dressing up. But I need a feminine woman. A foul mouth is a turn-off. So is a woman who’s at home in a bar with a bunch of guys drinking beer and watching the Sunday football game.

*9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ? *

Too much independence can be a bad thing. I’d have to say I’d like her to need my companionship, and maybe need me to provide for her. Anything much beyond this and you start entering the clingy zone.

*10. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO. *

I honestly couldn’t care less about oral sex. I love giving it, but I’ve never had it done really well on me, and the thought of her spitting it out or gagging on it turns me off to the point where I’d rather not do it at all. If I knew she was doing it to feel more intimate with me, I’d consider letting it happen. But if she’s doing simply to please me, forget it.

19

1. When your SO talks about their problems, do you find yourself just listening or do you try to think of ways to fix them? And do you ever feel responsible for their problems ?

I used to be a habitual problem-solver. I started breaking the pattern when I roomed with a couple of women. By the time I met my wife, I was pretty good at not leaping to solutions, and just listening. Instead, I’ve learned to gently ask leading questions about the problem; if she wants to vent, this allows her to continue, and if she wants to problem-solve, she can come up with it herself, albeit with the help of my perspective. Most of the time, it works pretty well.

2. How do you feel about lingerie ? Does it turn you on ? Or does it just make you want to rip it off ? Or would you rather see your SO in an old T-shirt ?

Truth be told, the sexiest outfit on my wife is a pair of blue jeans and nothing else. We’re not too big on lingerie, although she does have this one filmy dressing-gown thing I really like.

3. If you have been with your SO for a long time, do you still get butterflys in your stomach when you see her ?

Depends on the situation. (For reference: Together 5.5 years, married almost 4.) I enjoy coming home from work and kissing her hello, but that’s not a butterfly reaction, more of just warm fuzzies. However, if I’m traveling on business (say), and my wife is meeting me in that city a few days later to continue the trip as a vacation, I definitely get butterflies when she appears. However, sometimes I get “gooshies” (that’s what we call it) when we’re sitting in the living room watching TV, and I happen to glance over at her and really see her.

4. How do you feel about women using your razor to shave their legs or anything else ?

I’ve never had an SO share my razor. We’ve always used our own. Based on the horror stories, I’d rather this arrangement continued, though again I have no personal experience.

5. When you SO is in a bad mood is your first reaction “Oh man, she has PMS”?

Nope. After two or three days of cranky behavior, I might start thinking about the calendar, but that doesn’t really help because her periods are so irregular. Regardless, I’ve learned that it’s okay to talk about PMS in the abstract when she’s in a good mood, but bringing up PMS at any other time is verboten.

6. When it comes to romance, How do you feel about your SO initating it ? I’m not talking about sex as much as romance.

Love it.

7. If your SO is a homemaker, do you feel that all of the housework is her job or is it split evenly ? What percentage do you do ?

She’s not a homemaker. We try to split housework evenly, but in fairness she does more than her share. I do most of the outside work (taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, etc.), though, and the repair-type stuff (fixing the dryer, climbing on the roof when it springs a leak, etc.).

8. What do you think of tomboys ? Women that can easily say a lot of bad words with out thinking about it, who don’t wear a lot of make-up or do their hair and don’t dress up a lot. Do you have a bad opinion of women like that ? If yes, Why ?

My wife rarely wears makeup or fixes her hair, and looks great. She looks equally great when she fixes up, too. She also curses like a dockworker. I find it charming.

9. How independant do you like women to be ? Does it hurt your self esteem if she can handle just about everything ? Do you like it when a woman needs you for a lot of things ?

I was with a clingy, needy woman once, and found it tiring more than complimentary. My wife is very self-sufficient, and I like that. When she needs me, she really needs me, and I’m there for her, whether emotionally (see #1) or practically (see #7). The reverse is also true, of course. That’s why it’s such a strong partnership.

10. How important is it for you to recieve oral sex ? If you don’t get any, does it damage your self esteem ? I’m talking about only you getting anything from it, not returning it to your SO.

The specific items on my sexual menu are less important than the overall feel of said menu. If my wife wants to do this, great, and I enjoy it immensely. If she’s in the mood for something else, I don’t feel especially deprived. It’s more important that we give pleasure to each other. Blowjobs are fantastic, but I don’t love my wife any less in the weeks I’m not getting them, and I don’t feel bad about myself either.

20

  1. Usually, my wife’s problems are work-related, so I don’t have to worry about fixing them or being responsible; just being a good listener and providing suggestions once-in-a-while is all (she’s very smart and resourceful, so anything I bring up she’s usually thought of anyway). Of course, sometimes we talk about us and things we need to do better, work on more, etc., but then it’s a conversation where we expect each other’s input.

  2. I have some PJs from when I was single and she likes wearing those, so I call that her lingerie. She has a couple other “frilly” things (very nice actually–GGGRROOOOWOWW), but they’re usually off pretty quick (we always sleep in the altogether unless we’re sick). I’ve always thought it’s a waste of money so I never request anything, but she’ll buy something for herself once=-in-a-while, so that’s fine.

  3. Oh yeah, definitely, especially if I haven’t seen her all day. We’ve been together 7 years, so that’s not all that long, I suppose.

  4. I couldn’t care less, although I can’t watch her actually shave her legs (she does it so fast, it’s scary :eek: )

  5. Never. Sometimes it might occur to me later, but my first reaction is simply to give her space since I know that’s what she wants.

  6. That’s just fine with me, although I’m not sure what initiating romance means; she’ll cook dinner, set up candles, etc. as a surprise (as will I), but we’re always romantic/affectionate, so it’s never that much different than normal.

  7. Not applicable, although we do split things pretty much 50-50. I do the laundry, trash, vacuuming, mailing & errands. She used to do the dishes but has a dishwasher now. She does the dusting & windows, plus household shopping (accessories) and most of the finances. I do most of the grocery shopping.

  8. My wife doesn’t really swear, but she doesn’t use make-up much (doesn’t need it) and can’t relate to women on a lot of levels: she’s not into foofy things, hates to shop (especially for clothes), and doesn’t have a lot of common interests with her female colleagues (she definitely gets along with the boys better). She’s also very cute in a rumpled state, though I’d hesitate in calling her a tomboy because she’s a fantastic cook and hates sports. I’ve dated tomboys in the past.

  9. I’ve never met a woman (or at least dated one) who “can handle just about everything”, but then again, there are a ton of things I can’t do either. It doesn’t stroke my ego to “come to the rescue” in situations like that; I’m just happy to help. I’m not particularly burly but my wife still needs me to open jars, assemble items, and program the VCR; then again, she makes a whole lot more than I do, so I think that’s more than even.

  10. It’s never important enough that I ask. She does it when she wants to and that’s fine with me.