How would we know? What’s the point to a rat wearing a stoat costume if people can tell it’s a costume?
Well, you’d want it to be convincing, wouldn’t you?
Where is the best place to see a convincing stoat costume worn?
The annual Halloween Ball in Blawnox, maybe?
Don’t you have to reserve tickets for that something like ten years in advance?
As it happens, I know a guy, so would you like me to get you in sooner?
Are we talking a portrait of Andrew Jackson or Benjamin Franklin for the privilege?
Whaddya got against George Washington, Alexander Hamilton or U.S. Grant? Or Woodrow Wilson, for that matter?
Nothing, but which portrait do we need to provide to secure the tickets? And do you really think you’ll get many takers if it’s Woodrow Wilson?
Are you saying Woodrow Wilson was ugly?
No, but might he not be considered too rich for some people’s blood?
Would you believe that once you get above the Lincolns, it’s pretty much all the same to my broke ass?
Broke? Do you want to try earning money by scalping Blawnox Halloween ball tickets? Isn’t that how Elendil is making bank?
Well, how would I go about getting started?
Wouldn’t Elendil be the best source to answer that question?
How about some counterfeit tickets? I mean, it’s upper crust Blawnox, isn’t it?
If we’re talking about crust, would they be like those Super Bowl tickets Homer Simpson bought that were printed on some kind of cracker?
What are the advantages of edible tickets?
If the ticket taker doesn’t let you in because it’s fake, wouldn’t you at least want to get lunch out of the deal?
Yeah, but who’d want to eat something other people have been handling with their grimy fingers before handing it to you?