I think, therefore I am? Am I?
Do you think? If so, wouldn’t it follow that you are?
You are, but what am I?
Are you the walrus?
If I thought I was the walrus, would that make me the walrus? Can you identify as a walrus?
Are you saying you’d be a transwalrus?
Did anybody say “goo-goo-ga-joob”?
If they identify as a Walrus American, why shouldn’t they?
But isn’t that disrespectful of true Indigenous Walrus American traditions? [I’m gonna regret having said that…]
Are you regretting it yet?
How many regrets are “too few to mention,” anyway?
Less than five, do you think?
But more than one, perhaps?
Could three be the right number? Or do I mean the right quantity?
Are we ignoring quality?
Can’t we have both?
It seems only right, doesn’t it?
But which is more important when it comes to regrets?
Could it be the fact that Sinatra sings that word better than anybody else?
Have you had a few? Regrets, that is?