Must you always be so literal?
Can’t there be other kinds of dipsticks?
These days, don’t there seem to be unlimited kinds of dipsticks?
How did the good Lord make so many more horses’ asses than horses?
Do you agree with Lincoln that the Almighty must love common people, as he made so many of them?
Did Lincoln really say that 86% of statistics quoted on the Internet are false?
Don’t you believe him?
If he said it on the internet, is there an 86% chance that it’s false?
Don’t you trust Honest Abe?
Did you know that his friends actually just called him “Lincoln” and not “Abe”?
What did Mary Todd call him?
“The President” or “Mr. Lincoln” in others’ presence, as I recall?
Are you sure you’re remembering correctly after all these years?
Did any of us suspect E.H. of being that old?
Well, you knew I meant that I’d read about it, didn’t you?
Which reminds me, did you know that Alex Trebek liked to joke that Johnny Gilbert was the first man ever to utter the phrase, “Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln”?
How old is Johnny Gilbert now?
Would you believe he’s 96?
Isn’t he more like 205 or so?
Aren’t you supposed to come as close as possible without going over?
What is this, blackjack?