Did you check your pockets for a spare?
Is a Time-Turner anything like a Tina-Turner?
Not much of a Harry Potter fan, are you?
Where is Hermione when you need her?
Did you check the restricted area of the library?
Why is there never a librarian around when you really need one?
Is it their fault the library always closes at night?
Do we need a 24-hour emergency librarian hotline?
Did you know that my penis once made it into the Guinness Book of World Records, but then the librarian told me to take it out?
Was I supposed to?
Didn’t you get the email?
Isn’t there still a mimeographed newsletter?
What if they invented an app that gave you that mimeograph smell?
Sam, first, ew, and second, did the book undergo any particularly stringent cleaning after that incident, or did they just throw it away?
If you do something like that, don’t they usually throw the book at you?
But who do we get to do that? And once we figure out who, do we have to page them?
Haven’t we covered this already?
Are you implying that we’re spineless?
Will you be bookmarking this page?
Did you know that there’s dust on your jacket?