Not with *these *shoes!
Lighting fireworks. I can still remember the emotions crossing her face after she offered her punk to a couple of our friends’ girlfriends, and they reacted with fear and disgust. A long time ago, far away, but it still bugs me; I hate seeing her get hurt., more so when there’s nothing I can do.
As for the others, well, close your mind to the world if you must.
Heh. This is why we do assigned chores. And we (usually) bite our tounges when the other of us does their chores in any way but ours. 
Bah. I’ve seen my wife’s wants and desires shift without form or warning. I know her, but I have to guess at what she wants this week. 
(this seems to run in the family, my dad called me today to plan ways to defuse my wife and my mother (they like each other, but neither travels well, and both are high strung) it’ll be an interesting week)
That is why we have Honey Do lists … so you will have a selection of tasks to do so we dont always have to be asking 
If they don’t want to sit on the sit, they certainly don’t want to touch it. Sure, a person could wrap their hand in toilet paper and then lift it but they could cover the seat in TP and sit on it, too. Hovering’s easy, and good for the thigh muscles.
I feel the need to address the question someone asked earlier about moving from friends to more. A lot of people have said it can’t be done. I disagree! My brother and his wife were friends for years before there were any sparks, and I know other couples who started out as friends and then become more.
Add me to that list.
What do hobbies (guns , motorcycles, skydiving, bowling,etc) have anything to do with respect? I’ve encountered this mentality before and have wondered is it a “I’m not interested in those things, so the people who do enjoy them are boring to me.” or more of “Those things are dumb/childish/boorish/whatever, and the people who participate in them doubly so.”?
And if I missed the point, what hobbies to men have that women find repulsive (in general)?
I think you need to distinguish between two types of friend relationships:
-
True friends - Two people who are friends with each other without the hope or expectation that it will lead to something else. The other person is a buddy just like any other buddy.
-
Secret lover masquerading as a friend - This person secretly desires a romantic relationship with the other person. They stick around in the friend role hoping it will grow into something else. They are extra supportive hoping that the other person will fall in love with them. “Oh, your boyfriend is treating you like crap? Here, tell me all about it.” They often ask questions about how to move out of the friend zone.
I suspect that scenario #1 can blossom into a true romantic relationship. Scenario #2 is manipulative and won’t produce a true relationship.
Can women usually tell when a guy friend is like this?
It seems to me that you misread why he looked dejected. I seriously doubt he looked dejected because he felt emasculated. I can think of three reasons why a man might ask a healthy, unhurt, and spry woman off the ground at a party: he was brought up or lived in a social milieu in which that was expected, the woman is wearing clothing, such as a short skirt and high heels, making such a maneuver difficult to perform gracefully, he had taken a shine to you and was testing the waters to see how you felt about him. The first is more likely lead to him looking vaguely affronted, after all you just violated his social order, but he may have looked dejected knowing he violated yours. The second would only lead to dejection if he liked her, and particularly just learned that he liked her. but that she would rather risk exposure and/or ungainliness than accept help. The third would invariably lead to dejection, because she just rejected his friendly or amorous objectives.
In no case would most men feel emasculated. If he truly felt dejected, it was because you rejected an expected/needed/friendly overture. I can’t believe he felt less like a man. The other man was either snickering at his rejection, or your over the top reaction.
Hell, I’m a guy and I can tell within 30 seconds of watching their interraction. Though as with all things, it’s probably harder to figure out when you’re an actor rather than a spectator.
“objectives” should have been “overture”.
An no, I can’t remember ever offering an unhurt woman a hand off the ground, unless they were making noises or faces like they needed a hand.
I don’t get this. I really don’t care all that much for the specific dimensions or forms or sizes of parts, but the face HAS has has has to be attractive to me. That doesn’t mean that it will be ‘conventional’ pretty, or ‘model’ beautiful, as I can have pretty different tastes from most I know, but I can forgive almost anything for a face I can gaze at for hours while we cook, talk, hike, love, live, whatever. Keeps life interesting.
This seems so odd to me. When both people are trying as hard as they can to please one another, then mmmmmm! I do not like being the focus of attention, though. I don’t find the male body attractive, including mine, and I do the female form.
Oh, leave him alone, he’s Really Not All That Bright…
sorry, I felt I had to
I did initially as well. I don’t know why.
What if he just smiles good naturedly or blushes and doesn’t say or do anything wierd?
:dubious: A month is too long to express interest if you are interested and you see each other regularly. Two years would be you in the role of her brother, not her friend. Not that that is a problem, and I am friends with several women that deep and for much longer, but I would never dream of being in a romantic relationship with them, even if I am occasionally attracted.
I know it CAN happen, but the odds are so long against it IME that I wouldn’t hold out hope for it- it would have to just ‘click’ at the right time, and having been the sad sack waiting around hoping for years, it just isn’t worth the pining and the pain. Better to make a clean break if I can’t stop the emotion than to torture myself, even if it is the worst part of a breakup and also losing a friend.
Of course, if I can get past the attraction and stay friends, then it is an awesome friendship indeed.
I am curious- can you?
I don’t know why some men think this is a big mystery. You say something like “Hey, we’ve been friends for a while, but I really like you and I’d like our relationship to be something more than just friends. Would you like to start dating?” Then the woman will either agree to begin dating you or say she wants to stay friends.
If you’re asking for some magic bullet that will make any woman in the world want to date you then sorry, it can’t be done. Some women just aren’t going to want to enter into a romantic relationship with you, even if they consider you acceptable as a friend. When this happens you just have to deal with it and move on.
I’ll give you my perspective.
The very first observation I make when I meet (or see) a female between the ages of 16 and 80 is their level of physical attraction. I have physically sized-up every single woman I have ever encountered since my adolescence. Sex is a very big deal for me (and I assume for lots of other guys). It’s the only real biological urge, and it trumps all other urges. It takes tremendous effort to overcome that urge and keep myself out of trouble.
I don’t know how often that translates into “thinking about sex”, but every 10 minutes doesn’t seem like too big a stretch, considering every single woman I see makes me think about it.
This is probably the best definition I have heard for this on oh these many threads incorporating this.
I agree. And it isn’t just the first time. It is part and parcel of almost *every *interaction ever with nearly every woman. I am not necessarily feeling attracted, but I am idly totting up a totally shallow physical tally at all times unless I am specifically focusing on something else mentally. Even then, I am often doing it simultaneously on a lower order mental track.
It is the most egregious type of shallow objectification, in the sense of being totally divorced from any contemplation of personhood- thus the ‘clinical’ sense.
It is like looking at sculpture or something. It is not meant to be perverse, nor is it really prurient, but I enjoy it so much that I have been ‘busted’ doing it a time or two.
Thing is, I really don’t notice that I am doing it unless I find something extremely unattractive about the individual at the time.
And then go home dejected with the understanding that you now not only still don’t have a girlfriend but have just ruined a friendship.
“Stay friends.” Heh.
XKCD neatly describes the #2.
Here’s my question: why do women care so much about fashion? Do you all think we care about what you’re wearing? Because, beyond the general sliding scale of casual (very casual, casual, business casual, semi-formal, formal), most of us don’t. Really. So why?
The only “friendships” that get ruined this way are the ones that were never really friendships to begin with. If you can’t handle the possibility of being rejected, then don’t ask. But don’t be one of those guys who complains about how the woman he likes – the woman he’s always pretended to have no more than a friendly interest in – doesn’t read his mind and throw herself at him.
Something about this makes me want to hide under a rock.