Awww you guys!!! [sup]blush[/sup]. What with all the lickin’ and wrasslin’ and piratin’, I reckon my story’ll be boring now! sigh. You guys, you guys!!! Anyways…
Sadly there was no nudity, except under our clothes, which were freakin’ hot (thanks Scout). There may have been pirates, but they were all sitting up the back of the church being respectiful and stuff and only saying a few mumbled, 'a-har’s and ‘avast you lilly-liver land-lubbers’s in between all the praying and blessing and sanctifyin’ and stuff.
Well… back to our irregularly scheduled story (and at this rate it’s a gonna spill over into next week’s MMP!). Oh, Swampy I think I knew you were a lefty, Tuppy, I didn’t know you were, but all I can say is ‘YAY not-righties!’
Ok, now, on with the show: update, we’re in Jakarta, The Groom is missing, and there was no bucks party, (or as they say, ‘par-tay’). So how the hell did The Groom go missing? Well it seems that when The Driver (no bolding) said to us (Dangergene and The Doctor -bolded) ‘the groom’s car?’ he meant, ‘are one of you the groom?’. Well, when we said, ‘yes, we’re with The Groom’, The Driver (still not bolded) only heard ‘The Groom’, so ushered us out into the harsh, dusty glare of a Jakarta saturday and pointed us in the direction of the golden Mercedes (festooned with flowers, no less!). We said, ‘oooh swank!’
So, now we’re waiting with the Bride, (note bolding, but lack of registration mark, a nod to Tarantino, but not a swipe) at her house for The Groom.
There’s no superstitions about brides and grooms not seeing each other at this stage, and tradition dictates the groom should go and gather the bride and her family from her house.
So… things are getting anxious, and the phone (unbolded) rings.
Tis The Groom, and he’s kinda pissed, cos for some wierd reason the wedding car hasn’t come to pick him up.
From our hotel.
Where he was.
all that time…
WHAT? We didn’t know what was happening, we just listened to the driver. It’s NOT MY FAULT!!!
Anyways, The Groom, the Sister and The Security Threat (who isn’t really, he’s a big sweetie, like I said), are now in a taxi (‘hello, mister? You want Taxi? YOU WANT TAXI!’) barelling through the dust and glare.
They arrive.
The Groom then informs Dangergene and The Doctor that there’s no video guys or photographers. So we’re IT! (please) Which is ok, cos we brought all our image-taking paraphernalia. And with our 2[sup]nd[/sup] Best Men[sup]tm[/sup] status, it meant we were perfect for being roadies (we were also wearing matching black-on-black snerk outfits. So we had ‘the look’ going on).
So… we all head off to the Church. Through the dust and the glare and the very intentional locking if car doors.
Like i said, it’s dangerous out there!!!
O-kay. So, I’m not one for speechifyin’ and prayin’ and such, but I gotta say, the church was pretty damn special! Apparently it was one of the oldest churches in Jakarta, dating from the days of the Dutch settlement and while austere, it had a certain classical charm going on (sorry, I just came over all Prince Charles).
So, The Bride and The Groom are doing their form filling and signing, and it’s all done in bahasa indonesia, which means, ‘language of the indons’, or indonesian. So we have amusing vignettes of the Bride whispering in the Groom’s ear throughout the ceremony, cos his bahasa ain’t all that bahasanya kurang baik. But this is just the officiating and celebranting and stuff before The Wedding (note bolding).
Finish officiating, change tapes in the video camera and swap out batteries.
The families and friends (and us) move into the church proper, which maybe should be the Church. And so starts the speechifyin’ and praying’ and solemnisatin’ and it was really nice (like I said, I’m not much for religion and stuff, so this is probably the first I’ve been inside a church since just before The Quickening when I met Kurgen. Hallowed ground and all that). BUT… I’m holding the Groom’s high-end professional-grade digital video camera. And it’s HEAVY!!! And I’m up on the stage (I think it’s called an ‘altar’) to get faces and reaction shots and stuff. And the wedding is still going on, and my hands start to shake, cos that camera is HEAVY! (no tripod, sorry Dangergene). So I manage to slide off the stage and prop myself, all nonchalant-like against a pulpit/choir thingy. It works, I can now brace myself, but I’m still holding that camera… and… the battery is running low! ‘Ayiyiyiyi!’ I say in hushed tones, a la the murmuring pirates in the back. And then suddenly… the wedding is done! So now we can do photos… but my camera’s full and everyone wants ‘just one more’, and the flash card won’t empty fast enough (what was on that card? I’ll never know!).
But all ended peaceful like, and there was no excitement on the level of some of the weddings you see posted on the boards, and we got the whole thing on video and took a total of 964 hi-res images inside of eight hours of wedding stuff! The only real excitement was when a motorbike rider decided he wanted to go the opposite direction to the traffic as we were wealking to the church, so he hopped his rather large bike up onto the footpath and rode that way, a-honking and a-swearing, a la Stallone in First Blood (The Doctor pointed this out, I don’t recall a wedding in First Blood, but then it’s been a while).
There’s more, i’m sure of it. urm… Oh, there’s the gal who jumped too hard for the bouquet and then slipped on bits of disintegrating flowers and landed on her ass in a scene reminiscent of those Funniest Home Video style shows (although she looked like she hurt herself! ‘OW!’ i said, and then I said, ‘thankfully I’m married, so no bouquets for me!’. And the cola drink that had no bubbles and the dog dish… no, not a dish for a dog, but a dish with…
Ok, that’s enough for now. Questions? (by the way the dog was delicious, if a bit tough, although it was a bit spicey for my tastes).
