Things were nice and quiet. Maybe a little too quiet. But that was about to change…
So I get up in the morning and go downstairs to pull together a little breakfast. A nice bowl of Cap’n Crunch’s Peanut Butter Crunch since we’re currently out of granola. Bowl, spoon, cereal and to the fridge for some milk. Carnage! The refrigerator was a scene of total carnage! The vegetable bin was a shambles, the apples were all beaten up and the lettuce was in the corner, weeping. All the condiments were huddled together and they were all shaken up pretty badly. There was graffiti on the door of the little butter compartment. The worst was Mrs. Butterworth. I don’t think she’ll ever be the same.
Through some brilliant detective work I tracked down the culprit. It was an elderly batch of chicken salad.
If I were original enough I’ be playing out a Cops scenario in my head. The chicken salad would have missing teeth and really bad tattoos and say stuff like #!@ and #@%! every other word. But, I’m not original enough.
I had some scrambled eggs with cheese, grits (also with cheese) and a toasted bagel with cream cheese this morning. I got a feeling this might be a non-poop day. Also, I managed to hide two pieces of leftover fried chicken from a certain somebody I will not name who ate five pieces of my home fried chicken for lunch yesterday. They will comprise part of my lunch today. I’ll also be eating so me leftover steamed cabbage. I should be a dangerous combo after lunch. Steamed cabbage plus cheese. I’ll bet everyone’s glad they ain’t gonna be near me. Puggy, Shibb and the other Flawdians may get some fallout however.
I’m expecting a civil war in my fridge any day now. The weekend compilation of take-out meals is extremely threatening! There’s two boxes of pugnacious pizza, some very sassy hot wangs, some possibly double agent chinese illegal aliens, a large contingent of volatile goulash anarchists, and various and sundry impressionable peachy waters. If you don’t hear from me after today, send the ransom money.
Breakfast today is a bowl of organic brown rice crispies and 12 oz. of spicey V8 juice.
I think everyone should check your refrigerators for bad chicken. We had to have the homemade chicken soup in our refrigerator removed because, well, you know.
Whether it was raised that way, or bad genes, or maybe society is to blame. I don’t care, because the end result is that these chickens have gone bad.
How’d everyone in the Southeast survive the ice over the weekend? I was thinking of y’all when I heard the weather reports from Atlanta.
I have to plug Albany’s public radio station. They’re doing their fund drive this week, and it’s the only public station of any kind that actually puts the fun in fund drive. I actually listen MORE during the drive than the rest of the time. They got really close to meeting the challenge to raise $100k this morning before 9am. That would be $100k (almost) in 3 hours on the first day of the drive. We kick ass in the Albany area. If anyone’s interested, they do broadcast online at www.wamc.org. [Disclaimer: No, I do not work for the station, its affiliates, or its member stations. I just love the station.] [/shameless plug]
Thank you but it was a fine example of our Very Polite Southern Winter Storms. It came in, said hello, asked about our Mamas and like any well mannered guest, left the next day.
I blame video games, MTV, and more specifically, Marilyn Manson and Ozzy Osbourne. Taxi: What makes the PR drives in Albany so fun? Because I think our local station could really use a lesson or two.
Indeed it was. It made some purty ice sculptures on trees Friday night and Saturday morning. Then by Saturday night it had gone on to visit other relatives further north. I sincerely hope it maintains its manners and does not inconvience our northern neighbors and friends for too long. Winter storms and fish begin to smell after three days and all that.
Hardly anything ever goes bad in my refrigerators. That’s because I maintain a code of strict conduct for all their inhabitants. Violators are swiftly and severely punished. It’s all that molly-coddling that causes stuff to go bad. Nip it in the bud I say. Nip it! Nip it! Nip it! Did we learn nothing from Barney Fife?
That’s a good question, Shibb. I don’t really know. I think it’s mostly Alan Chartok, who’s the president of the station. He’s very intelligent and well-spoken, but when it comes to fund drive time, he goes crazy. He yells at the listeners, he begs, he pleads, he threatens to shut down the station, he threatens to take off certain shows (like Car Talk and Whad’ya Know which he doesn’t like), he criticizes the govenor and the president, and he’s just generally very melodramatic. The rest of the staff just follows his lead and somehow it works. They laugh and make the audience laugh. They usually raise $600k in 5-6 days. More whenever PR funding is cut. It is available online and if you’re really curious, I’d recommend listening between 7-9 am or late afternoon when Alan tends to be on. The others are good, but he’s the best. (This week is the fund drive so this is when to hear him. It should be over by Saturday if not sooner.) It really is a unique experience.
Taxi: What makes the PR drives in Albany so fun? Because I think our local station could really use a lesson or two.
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Yeah, I was wondering that as well. i just talked to a friend in Albany who couldn’t think of any specific reason it might be so entertaining but I think she was thinking of the TV station.
As far as I’m concerned, Dr. Alan Chartok (you have to remember to address him as “doctor” or he gets pissy) is an obnoxious, self-important, rude, opinionated, overly smug, arrogant little prick who’s wasting my oxygen, and every time he opens his yap or gives that annoying little smirk I want to push his face in. He’s also short. And scrawny. And he has a chicken neck.
There’s not much chaos in my fridge, fortunately. My mom has said that my fridge looks like a college kids’ - empty, except for beer. And the worst part is, the beer isn’t even for drinking - I use it to cook with.
Right now my fridge contains:
1 cup of organic FF plain yogurt, left from a 4 cup container
1 orange
1 bag each of walnuts & almonds
2 kinds of flour - bread & whole wheat
3 bottles of amber beer
parmigiano-reggiano cheese
pasteurized-processed American Cheeze Fud
Natural Peanut Butter
fancy-shmancy European all-fruit Strawberry spread (not sure if you would actually call it jelly)
assorted condiments - including chili-garlic sauce
Not exactly something you want to try to cook from at the end of the day - and no room for rebellion to forment.
I had a nice weekend - went to see Finding Neverland, which was good but sad. Baked twice on Sunday - Oatmeal Breakfast Clafoutis which turned out beautifully, and Chocolate Chip Cookies which did not turn out quite as well. But I didn’t mind - I ate the cookies (and dough) anyway.
Gosh, I got the impression Ex was quite fond of Mr. err…I mean…Dr. Whatsis.
Personally, I haven’t posted because my tummy is pretty touchy this morning (which is why I’m even home to post) and the OP wasn’t really what it needed.
::Note to self: clean out refrigerator when tummy settles down.::
