I’m fine…
(a lie to myself)
oh my throbbing head… gawd, I’m never drinking again…
“I’m sorry.”
“I’m lying.”
“No, Officer, her lack of pubic hair did not tip me off.”
“Oh yeah, that ad looks as good as if I had designed it.”
Trust me.
Wow…mine came while I was in the middle of reading this thread.
“Sorry Eric, I have no idea how you would do that. Try someone in tech”.
Translation: “Sorry Dickweed, I’m to busy surfing the Dope to teach a semi-literate like you how to do this. Try to sucker someone in tech into helping your dumb ass”.
Ouch. 
For me, it’s “Yeah, I went to the doctor. He gave me some painkillers for the first few days.”
I’ve never told a lie.
“I completely understand.”
“There’s no chance of that happening. I had a vasectomy last year.”
“I’m sorry, I can’t help you with that, I’ll have to have a tech give you a call back.”
“Oh yes baby…that feels good.” :o
Yeah, I knew that was today.
I believe all of you.
“I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”
A two-fer!
Fine thanks, how you doing?
Yeah, being sick sucks. I hope you get better soon.
“Oh, no, I was just going to have coffee with a friend, and I would have cancelled it if you’d needed me to.”